Caturday: Max Cancels All Plans

I totally agree. I did live long enough to work in a government facility that was made up of very old and very wise people. The women had a restroom that had multiple recliners, carpet, nice furniture and various and assorted blankets, towels and self care items in it. The men’s room had a hand rail by every urinal and toilet with large yellow signs everywhere warning us, “slippery when wet.” Apparently we lost a lot of institutional knowledge to the tile floors in the men’s room. We often wondered at the disparity in treatment between men and women and finally the Boss told us that the men didn’t need a special place to nap, we slept at our desk. The ladies would never agree to that bad habit and preferred discretion. I was in my late 40’s when I started there and endured constant kidding about being a kid or young adult. It was like working in a nursing home where everyone was partially deaf, blind, feeble, and full of hilarious memories and shenanigans. But, they were the only people in America that knew all the secrets of the universe. So the government kept them.

I’m cursed with the ability to see the humor in everything. I often wonder if it’s the tremendous entertainment I get out of observing life on the blue planet that keeps me going giggle after guffaw. Of course, there are moments where giggling would seem impolite, and so I refrain from drawing attention to myself. However, when it’s time to snort laugh, I don’t hold back. My coworkers provided me with endless mirth and merriment. The building was like a crypt in the other groups but you could hear us laughing all day long throughout the building.

Anything for an endorphin with a side shot of serotonin. 😆

I and cats of all kinds respond very well to catnip. I have no idea why, but we like that stuff. 😻😍

Waaa haaa haaaa! Come to think of it, that might have been a tad irresponsible of me. My laboratory had amazing banks of equipment with various displays and millions of buttons of various Christmas colors. Some of this equipment was so sensitive it could detect the electrical pulses in a person’s heart and brain from 10 feet away. Normally the terminals are shielded so our presence wouldn’’t interfere with measurements. However, I could unshield the terminals and run a continuous sensitivity check. When another person entered the lab it would cause a change in the signal register and I had an audio routine running that would challenge the intruder with, “State your business earthling or be vaporized.” Everyone called ahead to let me know they were coming because my lab scared them. I’m sure I would never have thought of it without the exhilarating influence of catnip.

Oh Geez, I snort laughed reading your comment. I love the last sentence. 🤣. As a young intern way back in the ancient 80s I was mentored by some genuine rascals. They taught me how to jam the local police radio systems with the equipment. The police and the Soviets didn’t stand a chance against our unconventional methods. The city, fearing some nebulous crime syndicate, got the FCC to track us down. When they discovered we were a highly secretive and well protected government facility, they brought in the FBI. The agent came to politely investigate how our operation could possibly interfere with the Soviets and the local police all at the same time. Me, being very young and barely learning how to shave properly, was used as the sacrificial front man for the investigation. Of course, the agent had no idea what he was looking at so, I suggested some of our signal emissions could be coming from uninsulated cables and promised to change our set-up. Case closed. No one got handcuffed. We left the police alone and focused on frustrating the Soviets spying on our military. I think what made us so successful was the fact we were all raised on the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show where Rocky had a secret decoder ring and was always outwitting their counterparts, Boris and Natasha who strangely had Russian accents. We were a perfect storm of unmitigated shenanigans linked to a highly idealized patriotic core. This eventually led to the catnip capers much later as previously discussed.

I do absolutely believe that I was groomed and fated and destiny called me to federally sanctioned shenanigans. I’m sure that if I fought in the Revolutionary War, I would have mooned the British troops from the parapet much to their horror and General Washington’s mirth.