Is This All I Am?

149693919728408There was a time when life made no sense. She didn’t know how to proceed or what to do. Doubt clouded her mind and covered her like a thick blanket on a cold winter’s day, filling her with dread.
Is this all I am? she often asked herself.
She was married, had young children and had been told her rewards were eternal; not to seek them here. Yet she wanted to know if there was more.ย Why couldn’t she be content with what she had? Was it because his eyes were always wandering? What would she do if, someday, she found herself alone?
Is this all I am?
Or is there something more? She could stay in her warm cocoon, head down, relying on her husband, taking care of the children. Ignoring infidelities, pretending her future was secure. But could she do this forever? How would she cope on her own with young children? What would she do?
Is this all I am?
Watching her innocent children play, oblivious as their father continually strayed, changed her mind and her life. The little ones were defenseless and relied on her completely. But she would rely on no one, she would be self-sufficient. Yet what did that mean? How did one accomplish that? Doubt gripped her once again, making certain she knew her place.
But… is this all I am?
Slowly, she dared to do more. The building in front of her was daunting but she would spend years there. The familiar doubt tried to crowd her mind. Was she smart enough? Brave enough? This time, she firmly shook herself free and told her fear it was no longer allowed to linger there. The words in her head began to change meaning.
I am more than this!
Through years of studying in the imposing building and dragging her children to class with her when she had to, she began to change the dialogue she allowed in her head even more. Determination replaced insecurity, her failures were her own. So were her wins.
I am going to do this!
beautiful-nurse-vectorThe girl who was thought dumb, the one who berated herself and let others do the same, changed. She graduated with honors and her children were proud. Through her, they learned courage, dedication and perseverance.
I did this and I can do more!
She fulfilled her life’s dream of becoming a registered nurse. She found great joy in caring for others and her confidence began to soar even higher. And one day, as she had predicted, she found herself alone with children to provide for. But she was able to handle this because she had worked hard. But more importantly, she had changed the thinking in her head.

2018-06-15T12:24:56+00:00

36 Comments

  1. loladiamond01 June 14, 2017 at 4:09 pm - Reply

    So proud of your character (or was it truly you?). What an inspiring story.

    • RosemaryMarie June 14, 2017 at 4:19 pm - Reply

      I’ll never tell. hahaha ๐Ÿ˜› Thank you so much, Jowita. <3

  2. mckatsims June 14, 2017 at 4:16 pm - Reply

    We are always more capable than we give ourselves credit for. Good for her, that she retrained her thinking and rose above the doubt!

    • RosemaryMarie June 14, 2017 at 4:20 pm - Reply

      Thank you so much. I totally agree with what you say about our capabilities. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. priscillapolicar June 14, 2017 at 5:00 pm - Reply

    This is a great inspiring article. I am pretty much pleased with your good work. You put really very helpful information. Keep it up. Keep blogging. ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. raymondsanti June 14, 2017 at 7:31 pm - Reply

    This is a very inspiring story and reminder to stay strong, just what I needed today <3

    • RosemaryMarie June 15, 2017 at 2:04 pm - Reply

      Thank you so much, Raymond. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m glad you found my little story inspiring. <3

  5. socallucyfan June 14, 2017 at 7:56 pm - Reply

    Yay to my fellow nurse!!

  6. Marjorie F Watts June 14, 2017 at 11:30 pm - Reply

    I really relate to this…been there, done that! Now my daughter is in the same position, so here I go again, only from the outside looking in! I have always tried to teach my kids to realize their own worth, and not depend on anyone else to influence their self-image in a negative way. That is not always easy to do, but I will do all I can to help her. Thank you for this, almost poetic, presentation and affirmation. Hugs! =)

    • RosemaryMarie June 15, 2017 at 2:07 pm - Reply

      Thank you, Marj. My parents were the same way with me. They had all girls and wanted us all to be prepared so that we’d have something to fall back on. You never know when life is going to change. Sending you hugs <3 <3

  7. joliesattic June 15, 2017 at 12:54 am - Reply

    My daughter will start her last year to become an RN. She is 50! She married at 17. Her husband was considerably older and put her in a cocoon. Mostly they fought. She didn’t start her family until she was 29, so still has young ones at home. One day she realized what had happened and how unfulfilled and helpless she was. She wanted out but realized she had no skills, no experience. They are still together and surprisingly enough, he has been very supportive now. In her second year they split for awhile. Whether this brings them together, no one really knows.

    • RosemaryMarie June 15, 2017 at 2:09 pm - Reply

      Thank you, Jolie. ๐Ÿ™‚ I think it’s wonderful that your daughter is pursuing nursing now! I’m so glad her husband has been supportive of her and I wish her the very best!

  8. bmitjessesue June 15, 2017 at 10:40 am - Reply

    What a wonderful moving story that I believe most of us can completely relate to, even if the circumstances are a bit different. I went to school late too, after children arrived and started the next part of my life later as well. So I started as a stay at home mom and I’ve ended as a stay at home mom and I love it. But I loved my teaching life as well. I wonder what will come next for me and you and anyone else that reads this story. Life is always changing in the most wonderful ways. Bad turns to good and sometimes good turns to bad, however it is all a journey in the end of which we learn and grow from in so many different forms.

    • RosemaryMarie June 15, 2017 at 2:11 pm - Reply

      Thank you, Bee! ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m so glad you enjoyed my story and thought it was moving. I see we’re much alike in life. I totally agree with you about how life is a journey. Well said!

  9. lisabeesims June 15, 2017 at 4:40 pm - Reply

    So many of us discover later in life that we defined ourself incorrectly in our youth … lovely

    • RosemaryMarie June 15, 2017 at 7:56 pm - Reply

      Thank you so much, Lisa <3

      • lisabeesims June 15, 2017 at 8:19 pm - Reply

        I need to connect with you guys because I’m coming home to the mitten in August and I would love to get together with you all (mi simmers)

        • RosemaryMarie June 16, 2017 at 4:53 pm - Reply

          Oh wow! That’s awesome! Lil lives about 2 1/2 hours from me. ๐Ÿ™‚

          • lisabeesims June 16, 2017 at 4:54 pm

            I will be staying in Grandhaven the third week of August. I arrive and stay up in Ludington earlier. I would love to connect with you guys.

          • RosemaryMarie June 16, 2017 at 5:01 pm

            Ludington is so beautiful; my parents just came home from a brief trip there today. I’m on the other side of the state, north of Detroit, but Lil isn’t too far from where you’ll be. ๐Ÿ˜€ It would be great to see you.

          • lisabeesims June 16, 2017 at 5:29 pm

            I have spoken briefly with Lil and she was interested too. I also just met a simmer online from Portland Michigan just thought it might be fun to put a feeler out it just do a dinner meet up somewhere. Lil did mention that it would need to be a dinner time meet up because you guys needed help with transport because of disabilities.

          • RosemaryMarie June 16, 2017 at 6:00 pm

            Yes, that’s right. ๐Ÿ™‚ I think it would be fun, for sure!

          • lisabeesims June 16, 2017 at 7:44 pm

            I will get you the dates that we can look at later and we can coordinate something perhaps

          • RosemaryMarie June 16, 2017 at 8:13 pm

            That sounds awesome! ๐Ÿ˜€

  10. Beth June 16, 2017 at 10:35 pm - Reply

    I like to think her children still had a mother’s touch throughout all those difficult days of study and work. Example is the best way to teach them, but they still need nurturing and love along the way.
    It was good to read that she was not so discouraged that she played the victim’s part but rose above that to take charge.

    • RosemaryMarie June 16, 2017 at 10:50 pm - Reply

      Thank you, Beth. That’s a very good point about the children and I agree with you completely.

  11. cathytea June 17, 2017 at 12:18 am - Reply

    I love this! I teach at a community college, and this summer, about three-quarters of my students are nursing students, and most of them have little kids. I am inspired, every time, by their growing confidence, resilience, and the futures they can already see for themselves.

    • RosemaryMarie June 17, 2017 at 12:10 pm - Reply

      Thank you so much, Cathy. ๐Ÿ™‚ Nursing school is so hard, but worth it in the end. I wish all of your nursing students (and the rest, too!) luck! ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. Whitneyibeblog June 24, 2017 at 12:12 pm - Reply

    You kept me glued to my phone as I was reading and cooking at the same time. I love it when people push themselves and not settle for anything. There is more to us than we can imagine. We only need to change our Perception and mindset and the sky will be nothing but our starting point. Well tailored and inspiring. Keep writing your heart out and thanks for sharing.

    • RosemaryMarie June 24, 2017 at 12:24 pm - Reply

      Thank you so much! ๐Ÿ™‚ I appreciate your kind words and feel that you are so right when it comes to our perception and mindset.

  13. Susan April 12, 2018 at 8:59 pm - Reply

    Your story triggered recall of a recent comment from my daughter.

    She was a baby and I was a young nurse when I became a single parent. For a long time I didn’t let myself fall in love with nursing because I thought it already took up so much of my time and energy I needed at home.

    That baby is now 29 and told me not too long ago that the stories I told her about patients always kept her humble, grateful for what she had.

    • Kymber April 12, 2018 at 9:04 pm - Reply

      That is so lovely. I’m really glad you shared this with me. I understand where you were coming from, not wanting to fall in love with nursing. It’s funny what our children observe and tell us later. Nursing has a far-reaching grasp. <3

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hi, my name is Kymber but you may know me by my pseudonym, Rosemary Castevet. I’m an author, simmer, Registered Nurse, Judy Garland devoteeย and horror buff. Did I mention I’m currently owned by Cesare the cat? On top of all of that, I’m a redheaded INFJ who is also a vegan.

I’m glad you’re here! Grab a comfy chair and settle in for a fun read.

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