Chapter 5.1: Dear Diary, I’m Holden

Dear Diary, this is my first entry in the legacy diary and I don’t know exactly what to write.

Thinking. Thinking. Thinking.

Let’s see, I graduated from the Royal Academy of Dance a few weeks ago. While I was there, I met the girl who became my partner, Julie Graves. More on her in a minute.

While I was in the academy, I became much stronger and my dance improved immensely. All my instructors said I showed great promise. Oh, and growing about eight more inches in height helped, too.

Right after Julie and I graduated, we applied to audition for the dance company that performs at The Royal Court Opera House. We were both fighting our nerves as we waited on the stage to begin our routine. Inside, I was a pretty good blend of excitement and fear. I wanted to make it so much, I thought I would die if I failed. This was the most prestigious company anyone could perform in and I could practically taste the contract already.

Julie was beautiful, when she wasn’t scowling, that is. We’d worked together for so long, I could anticipate her every move. Well, nearly. We had those days just like anybody else. There was the time she kicked when I wasn’t expecting it and she broke my nose but that’s just part of the learning curve.

Today, she seemed much more uptight than usual.

“Relax,” I whispered to her, “we know this inside and out. We’ll be great.”

Julie seemed to be avoiding looking at the bright lights and dark seating in the nearly empty auditorium. I, on the other hand, couldn’t help but glance to try to see if the panel of judges were seated and ready to go.

“I’m not worried about us getting in,” she said. “We’re going to blow their socks off, make no mistake about it”

“Okay, then what’s the problem?”

“I’ve seen the other girls and I just know they’re going to fine me once I’m in. It’s really upsetting, Holden.”

I’d been trying not to think about all the rules this company had. In fact, I’d only heard a bunch of rumors and didn’t even know if they were true. Apparently, the heaviest girl and the lightest guy got their paychecks docked until those circumstances changed. Did I have a problem with the rule? Absolutely. Still, I didn’t know what I could do about it. Right now, I wasn’t even the lowest rung on the ladder. I didn’t even have a rung yet. But I was going to get one even if it killed me.

Turning my thoughts back to my partner, I gave her an easy, reassuring smile. She was hourglass curvy which I happened to find extremely attractive. On top of that, she possessed high cheekbones and fine features. There was nothing that could convince me she was anything but perfect.

“First of all, give yourself a break. I bet none of those girls had a baby six months ago. Besides, your curves are super sexy and I hope they stay.”

She smiled just a little and I continued, “Our lifts are smooth and you’re the best dancer I know, so let’s just focus on getting in and worry about all the other stuff later, if we have to.”

Her smile widened a little but didn’t quite reach her eyes so, I took her hand and squeezed it. When I’d met her, she was confident and sure. Nothing seemed to ever ruffle her. Since getting pregnant and having her baby, though, things had changed between she and her husband. I didn’t have all the details, just little pieces she mentioned here and there. From what I gathered, things had gotten so tense, I was surprised she could concentrate on dance at all.

“You’re right,” she said and in her brief nod, I could see the determination I loved so much about her return to her eyes. “Let’s do this.”

Moments later, we were dancing for the panel.

As usual, I thought we did a great job. Julie was a breeze to lift and our last one of this routine was particularly intimate. We included it because we wanted to show we could act as well as dance.

As I held her, I lost myself. Her body fit against mine perfectly and even through our sweat, I could smell the sweet honeysuckle shampoo she always used.

I guess over the past few years, we’d grown pretty close although her husband didn’t like me. I couldn’t say I blamed him even though I’d never been inappropriate with his wife.

As the music ended and before I slid Julie to the floor, she gave me an extra hug.

“I’m sure we’re going to make it!” she breathed as I lowered her down.

She was right. I had a good feeling about this, too. Usually, if something bad was going to happen, I kind of got this weird sensation that made my skin tingle. I’m not sure why I could sense trouble, I was only glad I had the head’s up.

After our audition, we went back to the brownstone I shared with Rosetta and Chris. I think this is as good a place as any to catch you up on my roommates. Chris graduated from college around the same time I graduated from the academy. He’s now in the police academy, much to his mother’s dismay. I can’t say I blame Olivia for feeling that way since police work can be so dangerous. But Chris seems to like what he’s doing, so who am I to say?

Rosetta is pursuing her master degree and she’s still determined to be the leader of the free world. When she isn’t studying or telling me what I should be doing, she’s joining protests, trying to influence politicians and working with our parents in The Inheritance.

By the time Julie and I got home, it was getting late and the drinks were already going around. Julie went straight to the bar where Rosetta already had a full glass waiting for her.

“One Passion Fruit Sizzle for you,” Rosetta murmured, the corners of her lips curled into a pleased smile as Julie took a long, appreciative swig.

“You are the best mixologist,” Julie said when she finally came up for air.

“I know,” Rosetta said, turning back to her concoction of ingredients. “Would you like a pick-me-up, Holden?”

She asked every time and every time I declined. There would be no alcohol in this body. They all knew it but it didn’t stop them from trying to goad me into joining them. I couldn’t be swayed so easily, however. My body literally was my temple. I put way too much work into maintaining my physique to allow something like alcohol to ruin everything.

Besides, they were all so cringey when they got wasted. I could never understand how anyone would allow themselves to lose control over their own minds like that.

As I was speaking to Chris about his day, Fletcher strolled in. He stopped short when he saw Julie, his eyes narrowing. Sighing inwardly, I headed toward him. The dynamic in this house was enough to drive anyone insane. Fletcher couldn’t stand Julie. I suppose it had to do with the fact that she and I were such close friends and always in close proximity physically because of dance.

Julie didn’t seem to mind Fletcher, yet I’m sure she got his jealous vibe loud and clear. Rosetta liked Julie but also hated Fletcher. Chris, too. They never got over the fact that he used to bully me when we were kids. It was ancient history and he’d proven himself loyal for years now but Rosetta and Chris wouldn’t let it go.

And where was I in this messy situation? Just call me the peacemaker. I’m the guy in the middle that just wants everyone to chillax and get along. I can’t understand what’s so hard about that.

“Why it’s Fletcher Klark,” Rosetta said as if she was surprised he might stop by. I could tell she was getting buzzed by the way she said his name – as if it was a four-letter word. “Greetings, Fletcher.”

“Hey,” he said uneasily. “So, how was your audition?”

“I think it went well. We did a good job,” I said with a grin.

“That’s terrific! I’m sure you’ll get it.”

“Thanks,” I said, taking his hand and pulling him in for a kiss.

Fletcher responded immediately, sinking against me slightly and reaching his hand up to pull me closer.

“Get a room,” Chris joked as he swallowed another shot.

Julie snorted and put her glass down for a refill.

Self-consciously, Fletcher stepped out of our embrace, his face turning bright crimson. Even after all this time, he didn’t seem comfortable in his own skin. It made me wish the others wouldn’t tease him but at the same time, I also wished he would just decide to be whatever he was going to be.

Despite being bullied, I think it was easier for me than it has been for Fletch. Sure, growing up, Rosetta pestered me non-stop for a while because she thought I wasn’t facing my own sexuality. In reality, however, I was just confused about it all, I wasn’t denying anything. Over time, I realized I’m pansexual. It was so freeing to finally put a name to it, which is quite the opposite of what I’d always thought. I never wanted a label because I figured that would limit me. But accepting that I’m gender-blind helped me understand myself better. For a while, I thought maybe I was bi-sexual but it still didn’t fit me because bi-sexual people are attracted to more than one gender. A pansexual person like me is attracted to people regardless of sex or gender.

Fletcher was not able as a kid to identify as gay because when he tried to tell his parents, his dad tried to beat it out of him. This led to his bullying and I was an easy target. He tried so hard to measure up to what his parents thought he should be. When he was in high school, he tried to kill himself. It angers me so much that this all happened to him. Instead of empathizing with their son, he was sent to live with his aunt and uncle. That’s where he and I reconnected but in a more positive way because I decided he wasn’t going to bother me anymore. Little did I know the pain he had inside of him. It’s something he still carries.

Fletcher stays here at the brownstone in our guestroom pretty often even though Rosetta and Chris only tolerate him. I wish they could see in him what I do.

“I’ve gotta get going,” Julie said, sliding easily into my arms and resting her head on my shoulder. “I love you, Boo Bear.”

Wrapping my arms around her short frame, I rubbed her back a little and kissed her temple. “I love you, too, Jules.”

When she didn’t let go right away, I realized she was shaking. “Do you want to stay here tonight? You could have my room.”

In my peripheral vision, I could see Fletcher’s whole body tense up. I tried to push it out of my mind but I had a feeling Fletcher would be bringing this up later.

Pulling away, she shook her head. “No, Brent is expecting me and I don’t want to make him worry. Besides, the baby will be up bright and early and I want to be there for her.”

“Okay.” I searched her eyes as dread began to seep its way into the pit of my stomach. “You’re trembling. Do you want a ride home?”

Forcing a smile, she said, “No, don’t be silly. Everything’s fine, it’s just later than I thought it was.”

She turned to Fletcher and tried to smile. “Hey, um, when he ices, he needs to do his right shoulder, too, okay?”

“Yeah, whatever,” Fletcher said with a yawn.

“Well, bye,” she murmured before hurrying for the door.

I took that opportunity to head to the kitchen. I grabbed a large bucket from under the sink and filled it to the top with ice. We always kept extra bags of ice just for me. Going into the dining room, I dropped the bucket on the floor and shoved my feet into the ice, up to my knees. If I didn’t do this every night, I couldn’t move the next morning. Mornings were rough.

Chris had gone to bed but I could hear Rosetta and Fletcher. I couldn’t tell what they were saying to one another but it didn’t take a genius to figure out they were hissing their words at each other. Putting my earbuds in and listening to MGMT’s “Time to Pretend” full blast was my only escape…

Later, when I was fully iced up and the house was quiet and dark, I knocked on Fletcher’s door and let myself into his room.

Things didn’t go how I planned, though. We ended up getting into a fight about how close I am to Julie. I tried to explain to him that we’re just close friends but he wouldn’t believe me. He ended up pulling his clothes on and storming out into the night.

I was tempted to follow him, but this wasn’t our first argument and I knew we would both do better if we stayed in our own corners, at least for the night.

Between worrying about Julie’s well-being, getting into the company and my argument with Fletcher, I did my typical thing of hiding out in my attic bedroom, stretching and practicing difficult turns and jumps.

Julie and I still hadn’t heard what the results were of our audition and I hadn’t seen Fletch in a couple days. I’d left him voicemails and texts but hadn’t received any response.

“Do you know what time it is?” Rosetta asked as she came up the stairs, yawning.

“Get off my floor with those shoes,” I said, continuing my practice.

Of course, she completely ignored my instruction.

“I just got back from another event with Mother and Father. If you were in touch with them more, you’d know about the new items donated to the Sprague Collection.”

“I don’t want to be a part of that crazy life, you know that. Besides, they know I love them.”

“Yes, yes,” she said dismissively.

“What’s eating you, Rosetta?”

“I would think it’s quite obvious I’m concerned about you.”

“Don’t you have enough to worry about without adding me to the list?”

She sighed as if I was the densest person she’d ever encountered. “It’s true, I have a lot on my plate at the moment but you know what they say. If you want to get something done, ask a busy person.”

“You really don’t need to concern yourself with me. My problems aren’t really that unusual.”

“Will you stop that for a minute and talk to me?” she said.

I stopped stretching, giving her my full attention. “Will you get those damn heels off my floor?”

“Yes, of course,” she said although she didn’t budge. I was used to this but it didn’t make it any less irritating.

“I just want to know if you’re all right. I can’t stand that Fletcher Klark but I also can’t tolerate the thought of you being unhappy.”

I flashed my best smile at her and said, “We had a fight but I’m sure he’ll come around.”

“If he hurts you, I’ll have to annihilate him.”

Somehow, it didn’t seem so far-fetched that Rosetta might do just that.

Early the next morning, I was really feeling all of the extra dancing I’d been doing. Icing couldn’t even provide me with relief. Like an eighty-year-old man, I slowly pulled my clothes over my screaming muscles after my shower, tied my hair back and creaked and moaned all the way down the stairs to get breakfast.

To my surprise, Fletcher was there.

“Hey,” I said, sitting next to him.

“Listen,” he began, “I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I know this jealousy of mine is going to destroy our relationship but I don’t know how to stop it. I’m just so afraid of losing you.”

“I feel like you don’t trust me,” I told him. “I’m a touchy kind of huggy person, you know that, but I’ve never cheated on you. I don’t think I’ve given you any reason to be suspicious.”

“You admitted you were attracted to Julie,” he reminded me.

“I’m attracted to a lot of people, that doesn’t mean I want a relationship with them. If I’d ever cheated on you, I could understand your distrust of me, but, Fletch, this is getting old.”

“So, there’s nothing going on between you and Julie?”

I sighed loudly but realized he needed the reassurance for whatever reason. “No. She’s married and has problems of her own with all of that.”

“That’s just the thing. You never share with me what’s going on that she has to hang on you all the time.”

“Dude, we’re dance partners, she’s supposed to hang on me.” When he didn’t laugh, I changed gears. “I don’t share her problems with you because she asked me not to tell anyone. She’s one of my best friends and I won’t betray her trust. It’s the same with us. I don’t share what you tell me with anyone else either.”

He nodded slightly, staring into the distance, then finally nodded more and said, “I get it. I’m so sorry we fought. I hate it when we’re not getting along.”

“I hate it, too,” I said, trying to smile. “I’m sorry about our fight, too.”

Relief seemed to wash over him and he looked more relaxed. “Hey, you’re going to be late for work. Do you need help with your tie?”

He laughed a little under his breath. “You know I do.”

“I have to be at the studio by ten, but I have plenty of time to help with this,” I grinned as I reached over and began working on his tie.

“I really love you, Holden. More than I’ve ever loved anyone.”

“I love you, too,” I said softly, my heart happy and full. He was my first love. Even after a few years had passed, we’d managed to always find our way back to each other no matter what we’d been through. I cupped his jaw in my hand and touched his soft lower lip with my thumb. I could just as easily undo the tie and take him right here…

As so often happened when I was feeling good about things, fears began to pick at the back of my mind… what if Julie and I didn’t make it into the company? What if I let her down?

Shaking my head, I pushed the negative thoughts aside and leaned in to brush my lips tenderly against Fletcher’s. This is where I needed to keep my thoughts. I was certain about what I wanted and I wouldn’t let anything stop me.

 

Author’s Note: Thank you once again, Bee, for creating the ballet poses for me! They are so good and I can’t wait to use them all! If you would like to use Bee’s poses, you can find them here: Poses by Bee!

I don’t know why, but I couldn’t get the picture out of my head of Holden blasting MGMT’s “Time to Pretend.” LOL  

Guess what? This is my 200th post! Can you believe it? Thank you so much, everyone, for your encouragement and support. I can’t even begin to fully articulate how much I appreciate you. Just know that I do.

 

2018-05-06T22:48:10+00:00

68 Comments

  1. audreyfld May 5, 2018 at 10:41 am - Reply

    And so it begins….I am so excited for this gen. I love the ballet poses. They are awesome! ❤️

    Fletcher is going to ruin their relationship with his jealousy. I wonder what’s going on with Julie. I hope it’s not some sort of abusive situation. Maybe not physically, but emotionally. Of course that can escalate if her husband is jealous too.

    Great start to set things up for Holden. I am excited to see more ballet poses! I hope the icing and the aches and pains don’t become his downfall. He would be lost without dance. 😢

    • Kymber May 5, 2018 at 10:45 am - Reply

      Thank you so much, Audrey! <3 I'm so glad you're excited! These ballet poses have me so geeked!

      Let's hope Fletcher gets a grip before it all goes to pot. lol There will definitely be more about Julie and her situation coming up. You're so right about how things can escalate because of jealousy.

      More ballet poses coming up! 😀 You're so right about Holden and dance.

  2. sempreviva May 5, 2018 at 11:00 am - Reply

    Oh my god. I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am for this generation! It has certainly started out great, full of intrigue and complicated relationships! <3
    Holden is gooorgeous! 😍 I think he's my favorite heir so far! And Julie! So beautiful! <3 But hmmm, I'm almost sure she and Holden will not stay "just friends" for very long 😉 But the situation with her husband worries me very much… what is going on with him?
    And yes! I knew Fletcher was into Holden deep down! But even though they seem to love each other very much, he must ease up on the jealousy!
    Great start! I'm so excited about this gen and I can't wait to see more of it! 😀

    • Kymber May 5, 2018 at 11:08 am - Reply

      Thank you so much! <3 You sound as excited as I feel about this generation. 😀 I can't tell you how glad your words made me.

      Holden is definitely in the midst of some complicated relationships here. Fletcher does need to get a grip because this jealousy he has is festering and can only lead to heartache. We'll see what happens with that. Julie's situation will come to light soon. Will she and Holden cross the line? It's possible and we shall see. 😀

      I can't wait to show you more of what's going on with Holden and his friends!

  3. faith May 5, 2018 at 11:52 am - Reply

    Great chapter, Holden is a sweetie, I look forward to seeing how things progress!!

    • Kymber May 5, 2018 at 2:01 pm - Reply

      Thank you, dear faith. 🙂 I really love Holden so far and I’m glad you like him. I hope his story continues to please you.

  4. cathytea May 5, 2018 at 12:09 pm - Reply

    Happy 200 posts! I’m thrilled for you I think I’ve read every one! I really loved this chapter . Holden has a unique voice and a very unique approach to life! I identify with him a lot. It’s interesting to see him immersed in the drama around him while he himself lives in a pure and relatively drama-free way! I guess that caring for others will do that !

    • Kymber May 5, 2018 at 2:03 pm - Reply

      Thank you, CT! 🙂 I believe you have read every single one of the 200 also. xo

      I’m really glad you identify with Holden. I think he has to navigate the drama around him and keep it at a distance or he would go crazy. lol But yes, I agree that when you’re the caretaker and peacemaker, it will do that. <3

  5. loladiamond01 May 5, 2018 at 12:13 pm - Reply

    That’s a great start to the new generation, Holden being in the midst of a love triangle – well, almost. But I can see it eventually leading to the love triangle. I will just wait for it, I guess.
    Well, the fact that you have a pansexual heir honestly makes me excited! I thought it was very interesting with Sam and I really considered making him pansexual, yet figured it could be confusing for people who don’t get all the LGBT terms. Moving on…
    Julie is super pretty and has a great figure! I can see why he is attracted to her, although I wonder what kind of problems she has with her husband. I’m sure they will win it all!
    Yesss, he and Fletcher are an item. I knew it! Though I can see their relationship easily crushing in the near future, main cause being Fletcher’s jealousy. Poor guy, he found a man to love and probably is afraid. But there are many gay fish in the sea, lol!
    I love the way Rosetta says “Fletcher Klark”. I can almost hear her through the writing. She has such beautiful long hair, too!
    “If he hurts you, I’ll have to annihilate him.” – I could easily see Rosetta taking over the Master Controller’s “total annihilation” option!
    I also think Fletcher might have a problem with Holden being pan since he only likes guys and it might be hard to imagine and accept someone liking “everyone”.

    • Kymber May 5, 2018 at 2:11 pm - Reply

      Thank you, Jowita! 🙂 I’m so glad we’re starting this gen out right. lol Yes, you never know what’s going to happen in the romance department. There are so many possibilities.

      I’m also really glad you like Holden being pansexual. I agree that the terms can be confusing. There are so many and some are similar, although different.

      As soon as I made Julie, I knew she had to be a part of the story. Besides, Holden needed a partner. Her husband Brent comes into the story soon so we will see what you think then.

      Yep, Holden and Fletcher are together. 😀 Let’s hope Fletch gets a hold of himself before he makes it impossible for Holden to hang on. lol I can’t say that I blame Fletcher at all, seeing as how he had to navigate all the hatred from his past. It would make me afraid, too.

      Rosetta kills me the way I can hear her saying “Fletcher Klark.” hahaha She can be so snarky. lol

      That’s what I pictured, too! LOLOLOL I could see her in a control room with the Master Controller’s option of total annihilation. LOL

      That’s such a good point about Fletcher having difficulty because Holden is pan. I’m so glad you brought that up. I think it’s very important.

      • loladiamond01 May 5, 2018 at 2:23 pm - Reply

        Total annihilation, though! I also love the EA interaction “manage the dead” on the mausoleum. I’ve only discovered it recently as it’s much better in Polish, it’s more like “take care of the dead”.
        It’s horrible how some people just can’t understand how being pan/bi works and they try to make these people into what they’re not. Or worse – calling them giddy and unable to decide! Grr…

        • Kymber May 5, 2018 at 8:44 pm - Reply

          Oh, yes, “manage the dead!” I’d forgotten about that. LOL I do like much better how it translates in Polish.

          I think maybe that’s why Holden felt relieved at understanding himself. Rosetta was really top of the list when it came to treating him like he couldn’t decide or like he was oblivious. But I agree with what you say about understanding how it all works.

  6. NotJustaBook May 5, 2018 at 12:16 pm - Reply

    Oh, so many exciting things going on. Holden and Fletcher, eh? I guess I suspected something like that, but now they’re an item! They make a cute couple, though I worry that Fletcher is right that his jealousy will tear him apart. I’m a little worried about Julie as well – I don’t think her husband’s good for her. Seems a bit controlling…
    Ah, yes, I’m excited. I can’t wait to experience what’s to come!

    • Kymber May 5, 2018 at 8:42 pm - Reply

      Thank you, Louise. 🙂 Holden and Fletcher are definitely an item. Your suspicions were correct. lol Fletcher does need to get a grip on his jealousy, for sure. You very well may be right about Julie’s husband. You will meet him soon.

      I’m so glad you are excited!

  7. lisabeesims May 5, 2018 at 3:56 pm - Reply

    <3 <3 underway 🙂

    • Kymber May 5, 2018 at 8:45 pm - Reply

      Yes, it sure is. Thank you, Lisa. <3 <3

  8. socallucyfan May 5, 2018 at 4:09 pm - Reply

    I have been waiting for this chapter for weeks. I love Holden and his personality. “Thinking, thinking, thinking” That is how I would start the chapter if I was the 5th generation in a great legacy. LOL
    I hope he gets into the company, but I also know how competitive it is. And all of those rules. At least he will have Julie, they can look out for each other.
    I like seeing a pansexual character, even though I dislike labels. Diversity is always a good thing. But I can see how that would be a problem for Fletcher. Especially since he is still so insecure in his own skin.
    I also love the part about icing. It reminded me of when my husband used to come home from a race. He would fill the bathtub up with ice and just lay in the tub. But if he is doing something that he loves, then it is worth it. 🙂

    • Kymber May 5, 2018 at 8:50 pm - Reply

      I’m so sorry to make you wait. 😀 😀 But I’m soooo glad you like Holden and his personality.

      I think it’s really good he and Julie have each other, too, since they are the only ones who know what it’s really like to compete in this business.

      I’m also not big on labels and at first, I thought Holden would really resist that sort of thing. In the end, I felt he would be relieved to have an understanding of himself. I still think he wouldn’t want anyone else to try to label him, though.

      I think you’re right about Fletcher because he is so insecure.

      Oh yes, the icing! I was reading quite heavily about ballet and saw that a lot of them do ice like that. That’s a good idea about the tub; Holden might have to step it up. hahaha

      • socallucyfan May 6, 2018 at 5:29 pm - Reply

        I agree with you about the labels. in a way it must be sort of freeing for Holden. And at least now he doesn’t have to deal with Rosetta’s questions.

        • Kymber May 6, 2018 at 5:36 pm - Reply

          Yes, that’s always a plus! haha

  9. Jes2G May 5, 2018 at 6:59 pm - Reply

    First of all, Julie is beautiful like Holden says.

    Secondly, I can’t but feel nervous about this no alcohol thing. I mean, I commend him and hopes he can maintain that commitment. It just sounds kind of ominous. Someone here must be excited about being off probation lol. But this! “I could never understand how anyone would allow themselves to lose control over their own minds like that.” This is exactly how I feel about getting drunk and the reason why I’ve neither been drunk nor intend to be drunk! That and I just don’t see the point of being wasted.

    Thirdly, what have we here? A potential love triangle? Oh boy. We’re gonna need crates of popcorn for this gen!

    Ok, I’m tired of numbering now lol. Moving on! It’s nice to see I was right about Fletcher liking Holden.

    Hold the phone…Boo Bear and Jules?! LOL what in the world is going on? Oh yeah…love triangle coming right up!

    “That’s just the thing. You never share with me what’s going on that she has to hang on you all the time.”
    Dude…it’s really none of your business…

    200th post? Yay! Congrats! I wonder what number I’m on lol. Thanks for your dedication to this story!

    • Kymber May 5, 2018 at 9:00 pm - Reply

      Thank you so much, Jess. 🙂

      You pick up on the most amazing things, I must say. Like the fact about the no-alcohol thing. I’M OFF PROBATION? WOOT WOOT! LOL 😀

      There is definitely the potential to have a love triangle here. I think things will become more clear once you get to know the characters better. 😀 😀 I should provide the crates of popcorn. LOL

      You were definitely right about the Fletcher/Holden thing. Fletcher did protest too much. haha

      Yes! Boo Bear and Jules!! *evil smirk

      Fletcher is a bit nosy because of his jealousy, it seems. lol

      I would love to know what post number you’re on! Probably like 500+! lol I’m not even kidding. And every one of them is gold. xo

      • Jes2G May 5, 2018 at 9:04 pm - Reply

        You SHOULD provide the popcorn! 😂 And don’t get too excited about getting off probation!
        I’ll check and see how many I’m on. I’m gonna guess…around 1000 lol.

        • Kymber May 5, 2018 at 9:07 pm - Reply

          IKR? If I’m causing the drama the popcorn should definitely be on my tab! lol I have another reader who says I owe her hair dye for all the times I’ve made her worry! LOLOLOL

          Uh oh, I’d better watch my p’s and q’s! LOL

          I knew 500 was being conservative! Let me know! Inquiring minds really, really want to know! lol

          Oh, and it’s almost Coffee Hour time! Woot!

          • Jes2G May 5, 2018 at 9:24 pm

            Weeeeee Coffee Hour! I can’t wait!

            OK! I was right! If I only count the posts that were done during my SimLit life, there are 1038! If I count all of them, there are 1068!

          • Kymber May 5, 2018 at 9:32 pm

            I can’t wait, too! 😀

            Holy moly, gf! That is a lot of writing there! But I’m not surprised because you are always putting out great content. WTG!! I am duly impressed.

          • Jes2G May 5, 2018 at 9:33 pm

            😀 Thank you!

          • Jes2G May 5, 2018 at 9:25 pm

            And of course, they’re not all stories, but I wrote them so they count LOL. The stories would still be around 1000 lol. The legacy was more than 400 alone!

          • Kymber May 5, 2018 at 9:33 pm

            Yes, they do count, I totally agree with you. I can’t wait to see how many posts this legacy is when I finish. 😀

          • Jes2G May 5, 2018 at 9:34 pm

            Yes! I’m sure you’ll announce it 🙂

          • Kymber May 5, 2018 at 9:34 pm

            I’m sure I will! LOL! 😀

    • loladiamond01 May 7, 2018 at 7:40 am - Reply

      Hi, Jes. I just wanted to say how much I always enjoy reading your comments under Kymber’s posts. They are absolute gold and never fail to make me smile. Also, you’re very insightful and have good remarks, always telling the things I haven’t picked up on or forgot to mention. So thank you for that 😀

      • Jes2G May 7, 2018 at 7:58 am - Reply

        Awwwww! Why thank you! I’m glad I can amuse someone lol. I just love this story so much!

        • loladiamond01 May 7, 2018 at 8:00 am - Reply

          Me too! Kymber’s just the best!

          • Jes2G May 7, 2018 at 8:24 am

            Agreed!

          • Kymber May 7, 2018 at 4:53 pm

            You’re both so sweet. <3

          • Kymber May 7, 2018 at 4:53 pm

            Awwww… you guys. <3 Thank you both for being so encouraging and kind all the time.

        • Kymber May 7, 2018 at 4:53 pm - Reply

          <3 <3 <3

  10. Marjorie Flo Watts May 5, 2018 at 9:08 pm - Reply

    Congratz on 200 posts!! I’m not sure, but I think I may have close to that on this story, myself! lol! I have really been looking forward to the new story of Holden. A man’s point of view is often very different than a woman’s, and he is also ‘sensitive’ to the vibes of everyone around him. That will make for an interesting story, I’m sure! I love it when Rosetta goes all protective twin sis! I imagine she could be a force to reckon with! lol Great start, Kymber, and I really am looking forward to the next chapter!

    • Kymber May 5, 2018 at 9:28 pm - Reply

      Thank you, Marj! 🙂 I think you can be sure that you’ve left at least that many comments. LOL I’m so glad you’ve been looking forward to Holden’s story. I must say, I was really excited to get it out there today.

      You’re right about a man’s POV and how he is sensitive to the vibes around him. It’s an interesting mix that I hope I do justice with.

      I think it’s funny when Rosetta gets all protective sister with him. haha You’re right that she can be a force to be reckoned with! LOL We might have an opportunity this generation to witness just that! 😀

  11. Simsered May 5, 2018 at 11:16 pm - Reply

    I tried to find the time today to stop and make a lengthy comment about this chapter that I absolutely loved, but my 5 month old has been in a mood today making difficult to do so. Now that he’s asleep I’m too tired to go into too much detail lol. But I think this is a great start to Gen. 5, and I’m still so happy Holden is the heir. Also, as a new mom, I had to take a second look at Julie’s figure just to see what they were talking about. I wish I looked that great after having a baby! 😅 I’m just now two pounds from my prepregnancy weight, and I am hoping to lose even more than that. Her situation with her husband sounds terrible, but I do want to meet this little baby of hers. 😊

    • Kymber May 6, 2018 at 12:37 am - Reply

      Thank you so much, Simsered. <3 I know how 5 months old can be, believe me. haha Hopefully your sweet little one will be in a great mood tomorrow. 😀

      I'm so glad you're happy about Holden and like how this gen is starting. I will admit that I've had two babies and never looked like Julie six months later either. LOL It takes time. I congratulate you on getting back to your prepregnancy weight so quickly! Five months is nothing to sneeze at. It sounds like you're doing a great job! 🙂

      Julie's husband will be in the story very soon. And so will their little baby Paisley. 😀

  12. Rosie May 5, 2018 at 11:51 pm - Reply

    I sense a lot of drama this generation, but first let me say congrats on 200 posts. I can’t wait until I have that many on my blog! I’ll throw a party, ha ha. Anyway, this is the most perfect start to Holden’s life. I’m so excited to learn more about dancing! And oh my, Julie…and oh my, Fletcher! To be honest, I’d be good either way. I do hope that since the generation started with Fletcher and Holden, it might end there, too. Maybe they have one of those on and off relationships, he dates Julie, then he realizes he was meant to be with Fletcher. Or maybe he’s meant for Julie. OR maybe there’s someone else. I’m just so excited to find out what happens next!

    • Kymber May 6, 2018 at 12:41 am - Reply

      Thank you so much, Rosie! 😀 You sense correctly. LOL And thank you for the congratulations. I really appreciate it.

      Oh, I’m coming to that party! LOL 😀 Woot!

      I can’t wait to get further into dance and oh, my, but I have some cool stuff planned in that department. Well, I think it’s cool. haha

      I really like both Fletcher and Julie and could see Holden with either but his first love is Fletch, so we’ll see what happens. You have some really good ideas there! hehe You just might be right, or it might be even crazier! LOL

  13. freejack100 May 6, 2018 at 1:57 am - Reply

    you`re pictures are so well done and there always so clear, and the theatre and the dance studio are very well made 🙂 did you make them yourself ? I only make the sets if I have to now, when I cant find what I want, but I did make my story’s high school main hall for there prom, its always feel good when you made the set yourself, 🙂 but you hand it to creators, they do an awesome job to 🙂 I’m always impressed by your story and writing skills, I do have my favourites, and you should know, you are in that group 🙂

    • Kymber May 6, 2018 at 7:50 am - Reply

      You are so sweet. Thank you so much! Your words are very encouraging. 🙂

      You know, I can’t build at all. I have tried and it just doesn’t ever go well. LOL I admire you for being able to build your sets.

      You can find the opera house HERE, if you would like to use it or look at it closer. 😀

  14. Lila Remonn May 6, 2018 at 3:10 am - Reply

    Yay, the fifth generation, and what a fun first chapter was this to read!
    Aha, I knew it! Fletcher and Holden make a cute couple, even if they have problems (I think that there will be more problems down the line with Julie…). I feel really bad for Fletcher and his hidden past struggles with his sexuality. I hope that like Holden, he will become comfortable with it. Speaking of Holden, I like how carefree and at ease he seems to be in his own skin.
    I totally agree with Holden’s comment on the drinking. Losing control of your sensibilities just sounds like a surefire way to do something extremely stupid. I mean, I already embarrass myself with full control of myself, so getting drunk sounds like a nightmare LOL. And drunk people are usually very cringey indeed *nods*
    The thing about docking pay concerns me. I haven’t heard of that before, but I have heard of many other things that are pressuring on weight and body image (that I will be writing about in Gen 4).
    Awesome chapter <3

    • Kymber May 6, 2018 at 7:56 am - Reply

      Thank you so much, Lila. I wondered what you would think about my first dance chapter. 😀 I read about the pay docking thing for weight but I can’t remember which company had that rule. It sounded pretty scary to me. I look forward to seeing what you write about regarding the pressures of weight and body image when you write Gen 4. (I’m really excited about this!)

      Yep, you called it about Fletcher and Holden. I think they’re cute together, too. I hate what Fletcher has been through because you are supposed to be safe with your family and he wasn’t. No matter what my kids ever tell me, I can’t imagine doing to them what was done to Fletcher. Maybe Holden’s carefree attitude and ease with himself will eventually win out and influence Fletcher.

      Oh, yes, I am totally the same way about embarrassing myself enough without adding alcohol to the mix! haha I’m glad it’s not just me. I am majorly clumsy, for one. Anyway, let’s hope Holden always has this attitude about drinking.

  15. bmitjessesue May 6, 2018 at 11:45 am - Reply

    I think I am really going to enjoy this chapter, simply because Holden’s personality so delights me. This will be a lot of fun.

    The whole Fletcher-Holden thing does concern me. I pegged that Fletcher was gay when he was a teen, but I’m not sure he is as comfortable with himself and Holden seems to be. Perhaps it is because they aren’t exactly the same. I can see how that would be hard in a relationship. The fear of anyone, catching Holden’s eye and possibly taking him away would be frightening. He may love Holden, but it’s also his first relationship. I’m not sure if this will be a good fit for Holden. He may need someone older and more in touch with himself.

    Also Holden has his grandfather’s gorgeous looks, mixed with his fathers. I doubt he will lack for attention!

    • Kymber May 6, 2018 at 1:33 pm - Reply

      Thank you, Bee. 🙂 I’m so glad you like Holden so much. I can really see a lot in his future.

      The Fletcher-Holden thing is concerning for all the reasons you listed, for sure. Fletcher is frightened; he knows he is insecure and that being that way is unbecoming. It may not be the best fit for Holden, true, as he is surer of himself and carefree. I think the idea of someone older and more in touch with himself would be appealing to Holden.

      Oh, yes, I think you’re right about Holden’s appearance! He is a good mixture of Leo and Xalen. 😀

  16. bmitjessesue May 6, 2018 at 11:46 am - Reply

    Oh dang I forgot…thank you for the shout out on the poses! I’ve had a lot of fun making them for you!

    • Kymber May 6, 2018 at 1:35 pm - Reply

      You’re so welcome. <3 Really, your poses are so detailed. There was so much I wanted to say in my thank you. For instance, the curve of Julie's foot and how her knee is over-extended are absolutely gorgeous! It's exactly how a ballerina wants to look! Bravo to you on such fine work!

  17. raymondsanti May 6, 2018 at 6:58 pm - Reply

    I like Holden very much! He’ll be quite a change from Marty and I’m so intrigued by this love triangle set up. Although Fletcher’s fears are understandable, he needs to have more trust in Holden if their relationship is going to last. Jealousy can easily make things spiral out of control

    • Kymber May 6, 2018 at 7:21 pm - Reply

      Thank you so much, Raymond. I so agree with you about the jealousy Fletcher has. Holden tried to tell him in a productive way that it couldn’t continue this way and I also think Fletcher realizes he needs to figure it out, too. Hopefully, he’ll be able to.

      I’m so glad you like Holden. This chapter was really fun to write. 🙂

  18. twinsimskeletons May 7, 2018 at 6:21 am - Reply

    My heart goes out to Fletcher, it really does. I think Chris and Rosetta really need to wake up and give him a chance. it sounds like he’s proved himself again and again and it must be so exhausting to have everyonein that house against you except your boyfriend! I think if Holden gave them a piece of his mind that wuld work, but of course he’s so not the type to do that!
    I’m worried for Julie’s situation. Also, the fines for body weight is so gross. I know that industry puts a lot of emphasis on body image but that doesn’t mean it’s good or right :/ And yet it happens -sigh-

    • Kymber May 7, 2018 at 4:51 pm - Reply

      Thank you so much. 🙂 Oh, my goodness, Fletcher. My heart really goes out to him, too. You are so right about Chris and Rosetta (and this will be addressed in a Holden kind of way soon lol). Fletcher has proven himself and I think their holding a grudge against him is juvenile at this point.

      Julie is in a bit of her own problems which will also come to light soon.

      I couldn’t agree more about the fines for body weight and there’s really only one ballet company I’ve ever heard of that does that (there could be more, I’ve only heard of the one), so I thought I’d add it to the story. It’s tough on the guys and girls, unfortunately, and it must be nerve-wracking.

  19. Violincat May 8, 2018 at 5:09 am - Reply

    I feel kind of bad for Fletcher and the way his family treated him over his orientation. But I also feel that Holden will give him serious causes for jealousy further on in the story. Also, it seems like Julie is dealing with a domestic problem – I hope it’s nothing violent.

    • Kymber May 8, 2018 at 11:03 am - Reply

      Thank you, Violincat. I feel bad for Fletcher, too. He really had a difficult time growing up. You might be right about that regarding Holden. Julie is definitely going through some kind of domestic thing. The extent of her problems will come forward very soon.

  20. Simsophonique May 8, 2018 at 1:44 pm - Reply

    Indeed to be a pansexual it not quite known and people as its contrary to be an asexual is very hard to deal with but if Holden is sure of this feelings for Fletcher there is no reason he would be woohoo thoughts on a his married partner. However I guess already trouble between Julie and his husband and Holden will be a precious help.
    Rosetta is working for the Inheritance how cool and she wants to become a Politician that’s very interesting .

    • Kymber May 8, 2018 at 5:12 pm - Reply

      Thank you 🙂 Yes, Rosetta not only wants to be a politician, she wants to rule it all. hahaha

      I think Holden will be a great help to Julie if she’s having a lot of problems with her husband. Fletcher will find this hard to deal with if that is the case, though.

  21. heatherfeather19 May 13, 2018 at 11:20 pm - Reply

    If they get into the company, I hope the rumors about docking pay turn out to be false. That is really shocking to think about.

    Okay, I think I’m in the unpopular opinion camp, but I don’t think Fletcher’s jealousy is unfounded. Holden said to Julie, “your curves are super sexy and I hope they stay.” That along with the fact of how much he enjoyed holding her close makes it obvious that he does have feelings for her. And just because you’ve never cheated before doesn’t mean you won’t; everybody starts somewhere. I think Fletcher is seeing the signs, and, yes, he’s also very insecure, which makes for a very jealous person who is in their first serious relationship. Also he did admit that he’s attracted to Julie?!!! I wonder under what circumstances that was said, and Holden doesn’t understand why Fletcher is hung up on that, okay, Holden.

    Rosetta is getting her master’s, working for the inheritance, and still has time to hate Fletcher so much. xD I understand why, but 4-5 years must have passed. It’s far beyond time to accept him or make him leave.

    Holden thinks he is the peacemaker, but he’s not standing up for his boyfriend, so of course there are problems. There’s so much tension in the house that he just wants to ignore. Anyway, I love the start of gen 5! These characters are great but they aren’t making things easy on each other.

    • Kymber May 14, 2018 at 7:25 am - Reply

      Thank you so much 🙂 I really like the point of view you’re sharing in your comment. I can totally see everything you pointed out and I don’t disagree.

      It just goes to show that when there are problems in a relationship, there are always two sides and two points of view.

      As for Rosetta, you’re so right that this has gone on long enough. Grudges are ridiculous when it comes down to it and hers is really juvenile.

      I’m so glad you like the start of this generation. 🙂 Thank you again.

  22. freja64 May 22, 2018 at 6:03 pm - Reply

    OMG that bedroomfloor is amazing!

    I’m so happy the audition went well, Holden is so talented and I hope they’ll keep both Julie and him. Not easy to keep dancing once you’ve got a child, but Julie seems to keep it up. I went to see the Moskow ballet on tour her in France a coule of months ago – Swan Lake – and one of the dancers had curves too. Unusual, as they all seem so frail!
    Fletcher and Holden are cute together, but jealousy is never easy. Fletcher must feel inept if Holden’s getting interested in Julie… Drama drama. Err… Her husband isn’t abusing her, is he? Or Holden would have noticed…

    • Kymber May 22, 2018 at 6:13 pm - Reply

      Or he is beginning to notice. We shall soon see. Fletcher has a major jealousy issue as you can see, and Holden seems to have a major touchy-feely issue. hahaha

      Seeing the Moskow Ballet must have been amazing. It’s been a while since I’ve been to the ballet, but I wouldn’t mind going again soon. 🙂

      The audition results are in the next chapter, I believe. 😀

      • freja64 May 22, 2018 at 6:20 pm - Reply

        Just read it – so their feeling the audition went well was justified!
        I love ballet, and also opera! 🙂

        • Kymber May 22, 2018 at 6:29 pm - Reply

          Yes, me, too!! They are the best!

  23. lazysunjade August 30, 2018 at 1:17 pm - Reply

    I’m going to start with this gen for now, so I can get caught up a bit quicker but I might read back on earlier gens because I saw a few interesting looking posts on your page! I really like the way you put a unique spin on this bullying storyline with Holden and Fletcher, both with putting some backstory to why Fletcher was bullying people, and then having them fall for each other and date! That is too cute! Also, Julie is such a pretty sim! Hope these two get into the company, but boy I’m already getting bad vibes from that business with her husband.

    • Kymber August 30, 2018 at 1:35 pm - Reply

      Thank you, Jade. 🙂 Start wherever you like. If you want, there are summaries for each generation under the “Everything Noble Doubt” tab up above. But that is up to you; just letting you know it’s there. 😀

      I’m glad you like how things turned out with Fletcher and Holden. It’s funny how things turn out sometimes. Hopefully, Holden and Julie will get into the company, and hopefully, her husband isn’t bad news. We’ll soon see 😀

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hi, my name is Kymber but you may know me by my pseudonym, Rosemary Castevet. I’m an author, simmer, Registered Nurse, Judy Garland devotee and horror buff. Did I mention I’m currently owned by Cesare the cat? On top of all of that, I’m a redheaded INFJ who is also a vegan.

I’m glad you’re here! Grab a comfy chair and settle in for a fun read.

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