Chapter 5.23: Dear Diary, Friends, Family and Firsts

by Kymber
41 comments

Dear Diary, J.P. has been coming around a lot with his son Jem, and for that, I’m grateful. Within minutes of his first visit, I felt like he was someone who could be a good friend.
 
He was a talker, that much was certain. I rarely got a word in edge-wise, but that was all right with me. Hearing him talk was entertaining and I didn’t get the feeling he didn’t care what I had to say. There were moments, after all, when he had to come up for air, so that’s when I would jump in.
 
We talked about everything. The kids, our wives, what it was like to be home twenty-four-seven, sports, current events… well, you get the picture.
 
J.P. was a breath of fresh air around here and I know Chicken agreed with that assessment.

Today, the main focus of J.P.’s attention was how his wife Calpurnia was never home. When she was, she didn’t clean up after herself or help with Jem.
 
This was one topic that made me uncomfortable. I didn’t know Calpurnia very well because, as J.P. said, she was always working. She and Ellie seemed to get along okay when Calpurnia did make an appearance. Still, I didn’t figure they’d ever be as good of friends to each other as J.P. and I were.
 
“She might be tired when she gets home. Why don’t you cut her some slack?” I asked when J.P.’s ship finally came back to port. 
 
“So, you don’t agree with me? We’re her family and it feels like she doesn’t care half the time.”
 
I shrugged. “It doesn’t seem fair to her for you to be telling me this stuff.”
 
“What do you suggest I do, then? I have to talk to someone.”
 
I thought it was obvious, but I decided to be frank with him. “Do you ever hear me say anything bad about Ellie?”
 
His nose scrunched up as if he was mentally going through each conversation we’d ever had. “No, but Ellie is an angel.”
 
“I won’t argue with you there. My point is, though, that when I have something to say about Ellie, I say it to Ellie.”

“Huh,” he said as kind of a sigh. “If you’re bored with our conversation – “
 
” – Don’t be a blockhead,” I laughed. “I’m not bored. I’m giving you a suggestion. Don’t tell me what’s wrong with your marriage, tell your wife. How can you guys work anything out if you don’t talk to each other?”
 
“You’re a regular marriage counselor, you know?”
 
“And you’re a regular jerk,” I responded with a grin.
 
“All right, all right. You make a good point there, I’ll admit. Now, tell me something about Ellie you haven’t said before.”

I didn’t have to think for long. There was so much about Ellie I could say. Finally, I settled on, “Through the worst time of our lives, she never left my side or didn’t think I wasn’t worth the effort. I’ll never be able to repay her for everything she’s done but I’m thankful I have a whole lifetime ahead of us to try.”
 
“Whoa,” was all he said.

At that moment, Jem let out a squeal and then a laugh which immediately brought my attention to my daughter. As I suspected, she had the dollhouse person in her mouth again by its head.
 
“That bothers me like you can’t believe.”
 
J.P. laughed. “I’ve noticed!”
 
“I’ve never seen Jem do that.”
 
“Yeah, me neither. He does other stuff, though.”
 
“Like what?” I asked.
 
For once, J.P. was short on words. “Oh, I mean, I don’t know. I was trying to make you feel better.”
 
This guy.

Chicken had me worried, it was true. What if she was Rosetta the Second? I didn’t know if I could handle that. She didn’t display any other tendencies to concern me, but this doll thing… it had me on pins and needles.
 
Bea tried to talk around the huge doll head in her mouth which caused Jem to break out in uproarious laughter.
 
J.P. laughed at them, too, holding his stomach at the same time. “That laughter is contagious!”
 
Yeah, I thought, I hope sociopathic inclinations aren’t.

For months, I had been standing on my own at home. At first, I didn’t want anyone to know because they would try to help me. And, there would be a hope there that I couldn’t deliver on yet. I still couldn’t take steps without losing my balance.
 
Shutting myself away in the bathroom, I would grip the edge of the sink and pull myself upright. If I leaned a certain way, I could stand for several minutes. Each time, I watched the minute hand on the clock, willing myself to remain that way even if only a minute longer.
 
I remembered when the thought of never dancing again was soul crushing. It paralyzed me worse than any other fears I had. Once I realized dance would always be a thing of the past, my new, more real dread was that I wouldn’t walk again.
 
My prayers were no longer me begging to dance again. All I wanted, what consumed me, was the deep longing to take those first steps.
 
Laz worked hard with me during each physical therapy session. Although he found my efforts promising, the trophy still seemed so far away.
 
I made Laz keep my progress a secret. If I could walk again, I wanted to surprise Ellie. She would be so shocked and happy, I could picture it as if it had already happened.
 
Then, one day, Laz told me he thought I was ready.

Ellie was off work that day and home with the baby. It didn’t take her long, though, to come to the physical therapy clinic when Laz called her.
 
With the silliest grin I’ve ever seen, Laz instructed Ellie to hold onto my left arm. He held onto my right side and nodded to me.
 
“Ready?”
 
All I could do was nod back at him and draw strength from his determination. I would do this – I could do this. It was going to happen.
 
“Okay, up,” Laz murmured as he helped me stand.
 
Ellie’s eyes widened as her grip on me tightened. She was afraid I would fall. So was I.

With their support, I took three hesitant steps forward. Then, I paused, my knees wavering.
 
Ellie gasped and looked from me to Laz, her mouth forming a small “oh.”
 
Laz’ smile was wide. “We’ve been practicing hard, Ellie.”
 
Tears escaped the corners of her eyes but she couldn’t let go of me to wipe them away. Instead, she grinned at me.
 
“I’m so proud of you!”
 
“I’m not done yet,” I promised her.
 
“I’ve got ya’,” Laz said as I took a few more steps.

I’m not sure how much Bea understood what was happening, but she danced around on her little feet.
 
“Like dis, Daddy!” she squealed. “Do like dis!”

It was a day of firsts. But also the first time I was able to hold my wife while standing since before the shooting.
 
And hold her, I did. She shuddered against me, her tears dampening my shirt. I’m sure I was crying, too.

I was all smiles that night as we watched TV together, cuddled on the couch. On Fridays, we tended to stay up a little later and do this kind of thing. It felt good to hold my family in my arms.
 
I would still need the wheelchair as I built up my strength. But my goal was to be walking under my own power before Chicken’s birthday next year.

When the day finally arrived, things in my life had turned around in such a way, my confidence was soaring.
 
I’d met my goal of walking yet hadn’t gotten rid of the wheelchair. When Ellie asked me why I told her it was a reminder of how far we’d come. I never wanted to forget the struggle, the love, and the healing that’d brought me to this point.
 
The birthday party with Bea and Jem went off without a hitch. Calpurnia was even there and if I’m judging right by the way J.P. ogled her, their marriage was going to be fine. He looked as love-struck as a schoolboy.
 
Every time I looked at Ellie, I saw my love for her reflected in her eyes.
 
“What’s on the agenda now?” she asked me, slinging her arm around my neck.
 
I snaked my arm around her waist, pulling her close so I could kiss her.
 
“Oh, there’s a lot on the schedule. J.P. and I have planned an ugly sweater party for this Christmas – “
 
” – I meant with the phone call,” she said with a laugh.
 
Of course, I knew that’s what she meant but I liked hearing her laughter.
 
“Ah, yes, the phone call.” I enjoyed drawing this out even though my antics made her hit me in the shoulder. “Okay, okay. The call was from Aiden Minton – “
 
” – The artistic director at The Royal Ballet?”
 
“Yes.”
 
“What did he want?”
 
Pausing for effect, I thought she might lose her mind. With as much dramatic flair as I could muster, I said, “Myung is pregnant and has left the company. They are in need of a new dance master and have asked me to fill the position!”
 
All at once, she sucked in her breath, then, she flung her arms around my neck. Even though my ear was right there, screeched, “That’s wonderful!”
 
She hopped around for a moment and clapped her hands, then it was our obligation to fill J.P. and Calpurnia in.
 
The night couldn’t have been any better.

Bea and Jem regarded us as they might a pile of dirty laundry. One thing I’ve learned is that children are harder to impress than toddlers. I don’t know if it’s these children especially or if that’s normal.
 
Either way, I’m looking forward to what life has to offer with these two.

 

Author’s Note: Thank you so much, Bee, for the wonderful poses! ❤ You can find Bee’s poses at Poses by Bee. You can find her awesome Simlit at Stories by Bee

As always, thank you for reading, liking, lurking, and commenting,

41 comments

bmitjessesue October 6, 2018 - 10:11 am

I knew he would walk again! And even if he never dances, teaching will hopefully fill his soul to help other’s achieve their dreams. Holden is that type of person, so I am sure he will have a happy life.

I’m wondering where these fears of Bea becoming like Rosetta are coming from. Is it a feeling he has? Has he sensed the future? With such loving, doting parents it could never be an environmental thing. So is he worried about genetics, or outside forces?

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Kymber October 6, 2018 - 9:13 pm

Thank you, Bee! 🙂 I think you’re right about being Dance Master and how it will fill his soul helping others achieve their dreams. I think his life will be happy, too. He just needs to adjust his mindset.

I think the fears about Bea are only stemming from his experiences growing up with Rosetta. He may be reading into normal toddler behaviors but he has no frame of reference since he hasn’t really been around that many todds before, only Paisley.

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Jowita October 6, 2018 - 10:25 am

“Whoa,” was all he said. —> Lol, Holden’s words held a lot of meaning, I admit!
This guy. —> Yes, I’m already loving J.P.!
Yeah, I thought, I hope sociopathic inclinations aren’t. —> LOL, I wonder how much Bea will take after aunt Rosetta in the adult life!
I’m so proud of Holden. He’s come a long way and he’s winning his battle now! Hope things stay as great as they are now. And Myung… Has she finally found a sperm donor was my first thought here. I really do wonder. Hope she meets up with Holden and tells him more. I’m interested.
It really is hard to impress kids. After all, they’re older. I think the older the human, the harder it gets to impress them, because they saw more things. Or you could be an Eddie. Remember “life’s lame”? LOL.

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Kymber October 6, 2018 - 9:19 pm

Thank you, Jowita 🙂 LOL I’m so glad you are already loving J.P. He’s a lot of fun to write and I think he’s been good for Holden. Seems like Holden is focused on his friend rather than himself now. 🙂

Oh, those sociopathic inclinations! lol We’ll be finding out pretty soon if Bea inherited any of Rosetta’s personality. 😀 This gen will be over soon.

Holden is beginning to come back! We’ll get a chance to see him at his new job soon and you’ll see what he thinks about his new position as Dance Master.

Perhaps we can catch up with Myung, too, although I wasn’t planning on it. I see a bonus post in the near future! lol

Oh, yes, Eddie! LOL Thanks for the reminder, it made me smile. 😀

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Sims Legacy Stories October 6, 2018 - 10:38 am

Great chapter! Rooting for Holden. O/t but the ‘pile of laundry’ comment at the end made me laugh, because I look EXACTLY like those kids when I face the daily chores. LOL

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Kymber October 6, 2018 - 9:22 pm

Thank you so much! 🙂 I’m so glad you’re rooting for Holden. He’s really changing his mindset and working hard.

LOL! I looked just like those kids, too, I’ll admit. 😀

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audreyfld October 6, 2018 - 11:07 am

Eek! I loved this chapter. It feels so good for him to be walking again. And his new job! I laughed that she was pregnant. I guess she found a worthy sperm donar! But it works for him… and the advice he gave J.P was spot on. I hope his worry about Bea becoming Rosetta 2.0 is unfounded. Lots of kids chew on dolls and tear off their heads. Doesn’t mean they are a sociopath, especially at her age!

But great chapter with lots of good feels! ❤️❤️❤️

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Kymber October 6, 2018 - 9:25 pm

Thank you, Audrey 🙂 I’m so glad you loved this chapter. It’s nice seeing things working out for our boy. 😀 I reckon you’re right that Myung finally got what she was after. I think she was pretty bummed after Holden dumped her. lol I agree that lots of kids chew on their dolls – I remember doing that. lol Holden has nothing to compare his todd to, so he isn’t sure if this is normal or not. haha

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cathytea October 6, 2018 - 12:22 pm

Waaaaah ! So good ! I’ve always adored Holden for his ethics kindness , and deep goodness . Not tolerating gossip just furthers that! Holden is the kind of person I want for a friend .

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Kymber October 6, 2018 - 9:26 pm

Thank you so much, CT 🙂 I can’t tell you how happy that makes me that you adore Holden so much. I think he’d be a good friend to have around.

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Jes2G October 6, 2018 - 12:38 pm

What if she was Rosetta the Second? Bahahahaha! I knew he was scared of that lol. Yay for walking! And double yay for dancing! And congrats to Myung! I wonder who she made an arrangement with LOL.

Holden gave JP some great advice. I’m just glad he had that experience to even share with him because he was scaring me in the dark times with how he shut down and got angry a lot.

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Kymber October 6, 2018 - 9:31 pm

Thank you so much, Jes 🙂 Holden does not relish the idea of having to raise Rosetta 2.0. LOL Oh, yeah, Myung! lol I think a bonus post will be needed to fill everyone in on what happened. 😀

Holden was coping pretty badly for a while but now he’s crawling out of the pit he’s been in. I think having J.P. as a friend helped with that.

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Jes2G October 6, 2018 - 11:06 pm

Yaaaaaaas bonus post!! I’m glad he has a friend too. He really needs him.

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NotJustaBook October 6, 2018 - 12:54 pm

Aaaaaw, I got a little misty-eyed at that sweet picture of Holden, Ellie, and Bea. It’s so cathartic to have him walking again – and he’s getting Myung’s job! So she got her baby and Holden gets some of his life back.
It’s exciting to have Bea growing up – I seriously love her so much 🙂 This was so great. Can’t wait for more <3

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Kymber October 6, 2018 - 9:33 pm

Thank you, Louise 🙂 Aww… misty-eyed 🙂 🙂 I love that pic so much and Bea was so kind to make the poses for me.

Yes! He is replacing Myung! Woot woot! I think this will be what he really needs. They are both happy!

I’m so glad you love Bea. I hope you’ll continue to find her interesting and easy to love as she grows up and takes over as heir. <3

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joliesattic October 6, 2018 - 1:11 pm

He really knows his sister and like it or not genetics are hard to overcome. Good for him!! I like the job opportunity as well, it can be gratifying but possibly frustrating at times as well. But… hopefully it is what he needs for now. I kind of got the impression his dad might re-offer him a job, he does have stronger instincts than even Rosetta does… hmmm?

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Kymber October 6, 2018 - 9:37 pm

Thank you so much, Jolie 🙂 You are so right! He knows her better than anyone else and can’t imagine having to raise a daughter like that. I think the job will be bitter sweet at first but that he will grow to love it. He won’t be in the productions but he will be aiding other dancers in their dreams. I see what you mean about his dad re-offering him a position. I’m not sure Holden would take it but it is still a possibility.

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lisabeesims October 6, 2018 - 2:50 pm

LOL the woes of the stay at home dad .. AND the thought of a Rosetta mini me cracks me up. Good to see him up and trying <3

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Kymber October 6, 2018 - 9:40 pm

Thank you so much, Lisa 🙂 Yes, poor stay at home dad. haha Holden is NOT laughing with you. hahahaha But I can laugh about it. 😛

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Violincat October 6, 2018 - 3:37 pm

Oh man! That is good news, all around. He’s going to be involved with ballet again, he has a new friend, walking. Also, it’s nice that Myung finally has that baby she wanted so much.

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Kymber October 6, 2018 - 9:42 pm

Thank you so much, Violincat 🙂 Things are definitely looking up for Holden, which is nice. And, yes, Myung seems to be very happy, too.

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Marjorie Flo Watts October 6, 2018 - 4:43 pm

Yay for Holden’s perseverance!! And the teaching position is just perfect, as I thought it would be. I kind of hope Myung found someone to love while shopping for a baby-daddy. Perhaps she did some soul searching when Holden turned her down! I really like JP, and he’s been good for Holden, too. Please, don’t curse poor Bea with Rosetta’s personality!! At least she hasn’t been a doting aunt, trying to mold Bea in any way, knowingly or not. I’m really looking forward to the next chapter!! ♥

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Kymber October 6, 2018 - 9:48 pm

Thank you so much, Marj 🙂 You called it from the very beginning that a teaching position would be good for him. I wasn’t going to, but because of the comments today, I think I’ll do a bonus post with Myung so you can see if she’s happy or not and how all of that went down. 😀 I agree that J.P. has been really good for Holden. Ah, is Bea Rosetta 2.0? You will find out soon! lol

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Simsophonique October 7, 2018 - 2:19 pm

As a dance master, Holden will become more confident in him and I hope that new work will help him to turn the page, to feel better in his mind.

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Kymber October 7, 2018 - 8:13 pm

Thank you so much 🙂 I totally agree with you. I think this is the best thing that could have happened to Holden.

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Simsophonique October 10, 2018 - 3:34 pm

Life sometimes gives gifts to people who is deserving it.

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Kymber October 11, 2018 - 1:48 pm

That’s so true. <3

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Lila Remonn October 7, 2018 - 11:53 pm

Things are really looking up! I’m so happy Holden is going to be a dance master — even if he can’t dance himself, he is still in the world he loves. I wonder what guy Myung managed to convince to have a baby, and if maybe she found love along the way…
Such a wonderful chapter, I’m very proud of Holden!

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Kymber October 9, 2018 - 8:11 pm

Thank you so much, Lila. 🙂 They are looking up indeed! 🙂 I think that being involved in what he loves is going to be a huge help to Holden. I’m seeing a lot of people want to know what’s up with Myung so I think I’ll be doing a bonus post at some point. 😀

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raymondsanti October 8, 2018 - 12:57 am

Awww Holden has been so strong and made a lot of progress! He can walk again!!! And I’m so glad he can teach at the ballet school, even if he can’t dance. He still keeps his connection to his passions. Hmm I wonder how Bea will turn out….. Not a sociopath, hopefully? 😛

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Kymber October 9, 2018 - 8:13 pm

Thank you so much, Raymond 🙂 He’s walking! Just as Rosetta said he would. 🙂 I agree that it’s good he can stay involved in what he loves so much. Hopefully, Bea won’t be a sociopath! haha 😀

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adwilson1991 October 8, 2018 - 7:16 am

Holden offering advice to J.P. helped both of them in numerous ways: furthered their friendship while limiting negative behaviors such as gossiping and disrespecting the non-present spouse; gave Holden more to think about than what he felt he was missing which is part of the healing process … letting go of what you can’t do and figuring out what you can do. A teaching position is perfect for him as long as his not being able to dance in front of the audience won’t undo all the progress he’s made. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to return to something you love but not in the way you ever expected.

Another beautifully crafted chapter filled with lots to ponder. Thank YOU!!

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Kymber October 9, 2018 - 8:20 pm

Thank you so much, Addy 🙂 I love the depth you see in the chapters. It’s true that Holden’s advice to J.P. was for himself also. It will probably be very difficult for him to stand in the wings as he watches the company perform and he’ll have to deal with that reality somehow. As you said, he’s learning to let go of what he can’t in order to focus on what he can do.

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adwilson1991 October 14, 2018 - 5:11 am

Thank YOU. You provide plenty for us to think about and characters we can easily root for (or boo! should there be need for that) along with lots of feels … this and more is what makes your story a great read!!

Looking forward to seeing how Holden handles this “new chapter” in his life. I’m sure he won’t be sitting by and letting life pass without being actively involved … especially because his wife and sister (mostly Rosetta!) won’t put up with that nonsense any longer.

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Kymber October 14, 2018 - 1:03 pm

Your words are so kind and encouraging. ❤ I’m thanking you again! 😀 😀

I don’t doubt you’re right about Holden and that he won’t be sitting by much longer. I think it’s fair to say Rosetta and Ellie are done with that. LOL

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sempreviva October 8, 2018 - 8:15 am

Awww that was such a wonderful chapter! <3 <3 It really warms my heat to see Holden finally feeling more complete! Soon he will walk again and he’ll have a great job… even if he can’t dance anymore, he’ll get to teach others to do what he loves! Ooooh, and Myung is pregnant, I’m really glad for her – she desperately wanted it! 😀
Lol, I always laugh at Bea’s antics and Holden’s worries about her future – hopefully she won’t turn into Rosetta 2.0 lmaooo! (although I would personally love to see that happening, haha)!
Beautiful chapter as always Kym! Very strong feels, can’t wait for what’s coming next <3 <3

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Kymber October 9, 2018 - 8:24 pm

Thank you so much 🙂 Holden is really coming along, isn’t he? I think running the day to day of the ballet company is just what he needs. Myung is on top of the world right now and I think you’ll find out how all this came about in a bonus post at some point. 😀

I’m glad you laugh at Bea’s antics and Holden’s worrying about it. lol He does not need a Rosetta 2.0 in his life. 😀 LOL You’d love that, though, so we’ll see what happens. LOL

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twinsimskeletons October 8, 2018 - 11:50 am

Oh bless. You think children are hard to impress? I have some BAD news about teenagers for you, my dude 😛
But yay, Holden! He’s walking! And he’s going back to work!
I really like JP. But Holden’s advice here is so right (he’s so insightful, usually is when it comes to himself too, except for these part few years). I hope JP will figure it out. He’s a cutie!
Bea is so cute. Seeing her dad take his ‘first’ steps, awwww!

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Kymber October 9, 2018 - 8:28 pm

Thank you so much 🙂 Teens! Holden is definitely not ready for that! haha But like you said, he’s walking! So there’s that. LOL

I’m glad you like J.P. Maybe Holden’s advice is showing that he’s more himself now than he has been in the past few years. I think J.P. will figure it out especially if Holden doesn’t want to hear it. LOL

I’m glad you think Bea is cute. I can’t believe we’re to her childhood now. 😀

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heatherfeather19 October 12, 2018 - 2:21 pm

I’m so glad for Holden! He really has worked hard to walk again, and it paid off!

It’s great that he can be in the dancing world again. I’m sure he’ll be a great dance master. But if it doesn’t work out he can always go into marriage counseling 😉

I think it’s funny that he’s so worried about Bea. It’s like her turning out like Rosetta is his biggest fear 😂

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Kymber October 13, 2018 - 10:39 am

Thank you so much, Heather 🙂 It’s good to see Holden progressing so far, I admit. 😀

I like your bit there about being a marriage counselor. haha Good idea!

LOL About Rosetta 2.0. I think that thought is never far away. 😛

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