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Thursday, April 25, 2024
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Chapter 5.26: Dear Diary, Reconnecting

Dear Diary, something has changed since Bea became a teen. (It’s still hard not to write “Chicken” instead of her name.) I expected things might be different for us as she grew older. What I wasn’t counting on was being demoted to an observer in my daughter’s life. All at once, I’m not cool enough to hang with.
 
“You’re killing me, Dad,” was her new favorite expression.
 
This morning, as I sipped my coffee, I stared outside at Bea and Jem. They were at the end of the driveway in what appeared to be a serious discussion. What I wouldn’t have given to know what was going on.

When Jem left, I grabbed the bills I needed to mail and sauntered down the driveway. Glancing up at the sky from time to time, I tried my best to look uninterested or curious.
 
“Oh, I thought Jem was here.”
 
Bea sighed and walked toward me. “He was. Whatchya doing?”
 
“Oh, mailing some bills. I was thinking we could go to town and see a movie after school today? Little Dragons looks good.”
 
“You’re killing me, Dad. That’s a kids’ movie.”
 
“Oh.” Taking a deep breath, I tried again. “Well, we could see any movie. All you have to do is pick one.”

Finally, she smiled. It was only a little gesture toward her old man, a look of sympathy, but I’d take what I could get.
 
“Can we go another time?”
 
“Do you have plans?” I asked.
 
“Jem and I are going to the mall. Mom already said I could.”
 
“Uh, yeah, sure, some other time then.”
 
Her blue eyes softened as she regarded me. “I’m sorry. I guess I’m letting you down.”

“No, of course, you’re not. You’re a teenager which means you’re supposed to want to spend time with your friends, not your dad,” I said.
 
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I do miss doing stuff with you,” she said.
 
“That does make me feel better, Chi – Bea.”
 
My slip up made her laugh, her eyes dancing with life. “About that,” she said, “I kind of miss you calling me Chicken, too. But not in front of friends.”
 
“Scout’s honor,” I swore, my heart lighter than it had been in days.

“I was going to get those,” I told Ellie as I came inside to find her washing the breakfast dishes.
 
“It’s okay,” she said, not looking at me. “If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it, then it will get done. And I am busy.”
 
I stood on the other side of the counter and watched her for a moment. There were so many things I could respond with. Not having asked her to do them crossed my mind.
 
But where would saying something defensive get us? She would only get angry and I didn’t do well with that kind of vibe. I liked things calm and steady. In that regard, I hadn’t changed much over the years.
 
The more I dwelled on it, the more I couldn’t help but blame Rosetta for Ellie’s growing distance in our relationship. It always came back to my sister in one way or another.
 
In the past several months, Ellie’d been working extra late hours with Rosetta. The election was coming upon us and my sister made it clear she wouldn’t fail this time. She would be Leader of the Free World even if it meant everyone else’s life around her fell apart.
 
When Ellie and I got married, I never dreamed my sister would come between us like this. But every time I tried to talk to Ellie about it, I froze up.

The main reason for freezing up had to do with Ellie always defending Rosetta. She made it seem like I was the psycho, not my dear twin.
 
I guess it doesn’t sound fair for me to talk like this about my sister. After the shooting, she did so much for us and was always there by our sides.
 
But I was born with her and knew her better than anyone. There were too many memories of the things she’d said or done. Things that would make grown men terrified.
 
This is the first time I’ve ever written about those memories. I guess it’s because I’ve always considered them better forgotten. No matter how hard you try, though, there are some things you can never forget.
 
Rosetta thinks I’m weaker than she is. As a result, she’s been protective of me. It began when we were children and one of our parents’ associates, Shelly, noticed we had a “gift.” Rosetta embraced everything Shelly taught us. Some of the gift came by instinct to us. It was that instinctive part I couldn’t escape. It was a part of me and would be the rest of my life, I assumed.
 
After a time, I learned not to fight it. It was an intuition within me that told me what Rosetta was thinking or that she was near. This ability also gave me glimpses into my sister that often freaked me out. She was good to me and my family. But there was a darkness in her, too, that I hoped never to see first hand.
 
“Finally,” Ellie said under her breath as she turned off the water and drained the sink.

“Hey, uh, what do you say we go away for the weekend?”
 
“We only just got back from a weekend trip, Holden.”
 
“I know, but what if it was just you and me? We could have a romantic weekend at the Brass Ridge Hotel & Spa.”
 
She sighed, her face reddened from the steam of the dishwater she’d been leaning over. “You know I don’t have time to do something like that. First of all, it’s too extravagant. Second, Rosetta needs me. I can’t flake on her right before the election.”
 
I wasn’t beneath begging. “C’mon, baby, she has a huge staff. She can let you go away for two days for some well-deserved R&R.”

“Will you be serious?”
 
“I am,” I said. “You’ve been working hard and I’ll make her understand.”
 
“Oh no!” she said, her voice rising. “You will not get involved in my job even if I work with your sister. We’ve had this talk before.”
 
It was my turn to sigh. “Yes, I know. And I haven’t interfered.” I stared at my feet for a moment. It was all I could do to keep my emotions at bay. Finally, I decided to tell her how I felt. Nothing would improve otherwise. “I miss you, Ellie. I miss us.”
 
She bit her lower lip, holding it in her teeth for a minute.
 
“I love you as much as I ever did – if not more. You’re everything to me. Please… tell me that hasn’t changed for you,” I said, my voice a mere whisper.

All at once, she fell into my arms, grasping me with a might I forgot she possessed. In return, I held onto her, burying my face in her silky hair.
 
“Of course, I still love you,” she murmured as if to comfort me. “I know I’ve been distant. To be honest, my job stresses me out so much but it’s crazy because I love it at the same time.”
 
“I don’t want to lose you,” I said as I felt her hands rubbing my back.
 
“You and Bea mean everything to me, please know that.”
 
Hearing her say that was music to my ears.
 
“Remember on my grandparents’ farm? You talked about a romantic love and how you wanted to be swept off your feet? At first, I tried to be that for you. But then, after we got married, it wasn’t like that at all. I got shot and everything changed.”
 
She looked up at me, her eyes meeting mine with a firmness she usually reserved for our daughter. “You’ve always been that for me. Things did change after the shooting, it’s true. But you need to let that go. I know things aren’t always ideal, but I love my life with you, Holden. That is enough.”
 
It is enough, she said. I held onto those words as much as I held onto her during our embrace there in our little kitchen.

“I don’t know man, I’m kind of glad Jem’s more independent,” J.P. said later that day at his house.
 
“Showing independence is good,” I agreed, “I didn’t expect that to mean I’d never see the kids, though.”
 
J.P. waved his hand as if to dismiss my concerns. “What do you expect from teens? They spend their entire childhoods following us around, begging us to play with them. When they’re teenagers, we end up following them, begging them to spend time with us. It’s life.”

“Yeah, I guess.”
 
“There’s something else bothering you. What is it?”
 
I sighed. Would he even understand if I told him? “I’m feeling my age, man. It’s like, when I look in the mirror now, I see my dad staring back at me.”
 
“That’s rough. Lucky for me, I take after my mom, so that won’t ever happen to me.”
 
“You’re usually funnier than this,” I complained.
 
“Look, are you gonna mope or are you gonna help me plan this year’s ugly sweater party?” he asked with a chuckle.

“I’m glad it’s at your house this year,” I said. Last year, our house turned into a disaster. After everyone left, we thought it might be easier to move than clean up.
 
“I bet you are! Your house was trashed!” After he gave me a chance to roll my eyes, he continued. “We should cut down on the guest list.”
 
“Oh, okay, now that it’s your turn to host, we’re inviting fewer people.”
 
“That’s right,” he said with a grin.
 
“All right, so, where’s the Christmas Tree going to be?” I asked.
 
We spent the rest of the afternoon going over our plans.

At exactly seven, I arrived at the Capitol building to pick Ellie up. Yes, I drove. These are crazy times.
 
As I mounted the steps and began to climb them, I saw my sister’s identifiable red hair out front.

“Hi, ladies,” I said as I joined them and kissed Ellie.
 
“Hello,” Rosetta said. “I am so glad you are here. I was just trying to convince your wife how delighted I would be if you would join us on election night.”
 
“You seem pretty certain you’ll win.”
 
Her left eyebrow went up as she stared at me. “Of course I will win. I have seen it.” A smile touched her lips. “It does take some of the fun out of it to know the results ahead of time.”
 
“Remember what the team briefed you on,” Ellie said to Rosetta. “It wouldn’t be good for people to hear you say you already know you’re going to win. It could cause scandalous rumors that you’ve rigged the election somehow.”

“Yes, yes,” Rosetta said with some impatience. “I remember. It is a fact that is difficult to keep inside.”
 
“I can imagine,” Ellie said. “Oh! I left a file I need in my office. I’ll be right back!”

When it was only the two of us, Rosetta took a few steps forward, her eyes never leaving mine. “What is going on?”
 
“What do you mean?”
 
Her eyes narrowed and I willed her to get out of my head.
 
“Stop it,” I said. “Do you think I don’t know when you’re trying to butt into my thoughts?”
 
Immediately, I felt the tentacles of her reach recede from my mind.
 
“Hmm,” she murmured.
 
“Look, you didn’t used to do that to me and I’d appreciate it if you stopped. I’m not hiding anything from you. When have I ever done that? It’s like this election has made you paranoid.”

“If I cannot trust you, I cannot trust anyone,” she finally said. “I am not paranoid.”
 
“Then what is it?” I demanded.
 
“There is a certain… animosity… radiating off of you and it’s directed toward me. I only wondered why.”
 
“If you must know, I was going to talk to you about it anyway. Ellie is working too hard, her hours are too long. I’m worried about her.”
 
Her eyes narrowed at me once again. “She does not know you are speaking to me about this. And she does not feel that way. If she did, I would know.”
 
“Does it matter to you at all that your brother feels that way?”

Her expression softened and she even smiled a little. “Everything about you matters to me. I should not have to tell you that. Unfortunately, there is a very important election coming up. In a short time, I will become Leader of the Free World. Do you understand I intend to make far-reaching changes once I am elected? Until the moment I can do that, I need Ellie and the rest of my staff working as hard as they can.”
 
My ire was up. I could feel my heartbeat quicken and when I spoke, I ground out my words. “I understand that without your staff, everyone would see the darkness you have inside. It’s because of your employees you look so good in public.”
 
“I am glad you understand the situation,” she said without any malice in her voice.
 
How could she be so matter of fact after moments before, I’d shown such anger toward her? I was more confused than ever.
 
“When you get elected, can you keep that darkness at bay? What exactly do you plan to do with all that power?”
 
Again, she smiled. “You call what I have darkness. But you are wrong. It is amazing and it will allow me to do so much. No matter what happens, I will always protect you and your family, you know that.”
 
She meant to assuage my concerns. Instead, she gave me a thousand more.

 

As always, thank you for reading, liking, lurking, and commenting,

Kymber Hawke
Kymber Hawkehttps://booomcha.com/
I am a simmer, Rennie garb wearer, author, and dog petter. Judy Garland is my queen, horror movies & classic movies are my jam. INFJ with "Unity Hayes" as a pseudonym. A little bit eccentric, owned by two cats, Cesare & Josie-Pye. 🐱🐱

50 COMMENTS

  1. I wondered if Rosetta would cause a wedge to happen between Holden and Ellie. I kind of predicted that in an earlier chapter, and it seems to be coming true. I just hope it can be fixed because Holden just seems so sad. He doesn’t deserve this, especially after everything he’s been through. I hope once this election is over with, they can resolve everything that’s going on. It also makes me sad to see Holden and his daughter drift apart, too. This also makes him sad, and I hate seeing him that way.

    I will say that Rosetta totally creeps me out. I wonder if Holden will ever figure out what she did to his attacker.

    It sounds like the ugly sweater party is going to be a blast. I can’t wait to see that. LOL.

    • Yes, I remember you predicting this before about Rosetta causing a wedge between Ellie and Holden. The thing Holden wants most is his family. Hopefully, it’s not slipping away from him. (I will tell you, though, that Ellie rolled a wish for divorce in game! It about killed me!)

      Rosetta creeps you out? I can’t imagine why? HAHAHAHAHAHA 😀

      I can’t wait for the ugly sweater party! LOL I was so looking forward to this.

      • OMG, don’t you hate it when a favorite couple rolls a want for divorce? 🙁 That’s happened in my game, too, and OMG, it’s so heartbreaking. That midlife crisis is a killer.

        Ohhh yes! Rosetta definitely gives me the willies at times. hahahaha!!!

        I have an adult coloring book with ugly sweaters, and it always makes me smile when I pull it out around the holidays. 😀

        • It sure is. And, with the way things were going with Ellie and Holden, I actually did consider it. But, I couldn’t do it. LOL

          Rosetta gives a lot of people the willies. hahahaha

          Oh, I love your coloring book and I haven’t even seen it! LOL

  2. Holden gives me the sense of a young, playful man despite his aging face (perhaps in the lovely way you write him), so it is sad that everyone around him seems to be growing up past him. Ellie especially seems so much older than him, with that kinda callous way she talked to him. Rosetta, stop overworking the poor lady!
    I really wonder what Rosetta will do once she inevitably becomes Leader of the Free World. Will she benefit the country, or abuse her newfound power? Either way, she never ceases to creep me the heck out. She really thinks highly of herself, doesn’t she? Like Carys said, she is always going on about protecting her family (which she admittedly does, in a physical sense) but also doesn’t seem to care about their opinions and feelings at all…

    • Hi, Lila! 😀 I really like how you describe Holden here. Rosetta creeps you out? I can’t imagine why. 😂😂 I think her intentions as Leader of the Free World will be good, but that doesn’t mean very much when she only listens to herself. I think you and Carys are right in that she doesn’t really care about any of her family members’ opinions or feelings. She thinks she knows best.

  3. It must be difficult with a sister like Rosetta. Especially, considering their connection. She strikes me as a terrifying enemy, but a loyal protector if she cares about a person.
    But at least Holden and Ellie are communicating.

    • Yes, you are absolutely right about Rosetta. She can be fiercely protective with her family, or a formiddable foe.

      Ellie was having a mid-life crisis in game and wanted a divorce! 😳 As I played, though, they seemed to reconnect. Which made me extremely happy. 😀

  4. Ooof, I’m so sorry for my late comment! I can’t seem to properly keep up these days :/
    I was a bit shocked at first at sweet Ellie’s cold reaction towards her husband, but I get it. Rosetta should cut her some slack already, the woman is exhausted!
    Speaking of Rosetta, as much as I laugh reading about her, she seriously gives out some creepy vibes. I hope she doesn’t turn out to be a full blown villain, especially as she will get elected as leader of the free world soon (but then again, how cool would that be? 😉)

    • No worries on the late comment. 😀 I’m late responding to a lot of them because my daughter, who just got married, came down with appendicitis on Monday morning about 3 a.m. So, we’ve been at the hospital with her. She is fine now and doing well at home. 😀

      Yes, Ellie was pretty cold, it’s true. I agree with what you say about Rosetta. Man, but she is a slave driver.

      She is pretty creepy, isn’t she? I don’t think she’ll turn out to be a full blown villain but in all honesty, she does like to dangle on the precipice. lol

  5. Rosetta really infuriates me. She thinks she cares for her family – and in her own way I suppose she does – but she sure as hell doesn’t do it by listening to them. She has that genius snobbery and thinks she knows better (she would say she does, I’m sure) and so she does what she thinks is right for everyone even when they’re screaming at her otherwise. And the problem is these things don’t typically end – Rosetta will find reasons to continue working her staff to the ground because life doesn’t suddenly get quiet once you’ve won an election like that! I wonder who she’s up against. Maybe Holden should vote the other way just out of spite (I know he would never, but I would haha!)

    • I totally get how infuriating Rosetta can be. She doesn’t listen, it’s true, because she thinks she already knows better. I seriously did consider having Holden vote for her opponent and then later, her finding out. hahaha Maybe it can still happen. 😛

  6. Bea’s getting older, unfortunately. Holden needs to start thinking of her more as her own person than his daughter. And it would be helpful if Ellie communicated when she approves Bea doing something.

    At the beginning I was thinking that Holden was obsessing over Rosetta and just wanted to blame her for their relationship troubles, and that it was all in his head. Buuuuuut seeing Rosetta again makes it pretty hard not to blame her for everything, even if it’s not her fault. I think it’s pretty clear that Rosetta reads Ellie’s mind, and that is a big concern to me. Has Holden explained their powers to Ellie? Probably afraid that she wouldn’t believe it, but she needs to know!

    • Yes, I think you’re right about how Holden needs to approach Bea now that she is older. It would also be good, as you said, if Ellie and Holden knew what each other was doing. lol

      That’s really interesting how you felt about Holden and Rosetta’s relationship and how things were going. You are definitely right about Rosetta reading Ellie’s mind. I, too, think it might be good if Holden and Ellie talked about that. You’re right that she might not believe him! lol

  7. GOodness, Rosetta might be getting herself in deep water here with her power. I hope she doesn’t do anything crazy…

    I’m glad Holden and Ellie are still able to be open about their relationship and discuss things. Ellie does work long hours and I wish she spent more time with her family, but on the other hand, upsetting Rosetta doesn’t seem like a wise thing to do.

    • I think you’re definitely right about Rosetta and her power. Maybe Holden can keep her in check somehow?

      You’re also probably right that it wouldn’t be good to upset Rosetta. Hopefully, after the election, Holden and Ellie can reconnect even more.

  8. I wonder what is brewing in the Rosetta pot? I think just about every empty nester knows how Holden is feeling. It’s like everything keeps moving and no matter how hard to hang onto it, it slips away. I hope he will find something richly rewarding to engage himself in. Hugs to Holden, he’s such a good soul.

    • Oh, yes, what is brewing in the Rosetta pot? Dare we ask? lol That’s a good point about empty nesters understanding how Holden feels. I’m just beginning to get a taste of that myself. I think that’s a good suggestion for him to find something richly rewarding to do.

  9. There’s an annoyed undertone in Holden’s conversation with his family.
    Everyone confirms how much he loves him, but he has to spend his time with J.P. making plans for the ugly sweater party.
    Well, fun is good, is it ?

    Surely “his ladies” have all more important reasons for being busy.

    Ellie is an indispensable confidante for Rosetta during the final stage of the election,
    When I think of Rosetta, I imagine, she’s dragging Ellie’s positive vibes and emotions to make herself look less unscrupulous.
    Holden looks lonely and worn out, too sensitive for so much female power ?

    • LOL You have some good points there. I think you’re right about Holden and “his ladies.” 😀

      You’re also right about Ellie’s role with Rosetta. I don’t think Holden realizes that Rosetta actually needs a confidante because he thinks she already knows everything. Rosetta definitely does that with Ellie and her staff so she will look less scrupulous.

      I think you’re also right that Holden is very sensitive. 🙂

  10. Bea has a soft heart, more to her good, I hope! At least she understands that Holden is feeling a bit “out of it” now that she is a teenager. I certainly hope her Aunt Rosetta doesn’t have any direct influence on her in the future! =( Rosetta is a bit of a villain, perhaps with good intentions but not with the patience to see things move as slowly as they should. I must admit, she’s honest about it, but doesn’t understand how it can be construed as being ‘bad’! Poor Holden, he’s sort of in a holding pattern until things slow down for his family. I am looking forward to the party, too! I like that he at least has a friend in J.P., and a light-hearted friend that can make him smile. Commiserating about your teenage kids helps, knowing someone else is in the same boat! It will be interesting to see what becomes of Bea and Jem, if anything. Only the writer/commentator knows!! ♥

    • Bea does have a soft heart. Aunt Rosetta is very much in her life. We will see over time how much her influence has or has not affected her. You are right about Rosetta. She is a bit of a villain, but she also does have the best of intentions. She isn’t trying to be bad or do evil things. Everything is black and white to her and she makes quick and sometimes disastrous decisions because of her outlook. Things will look up for Holden and the family after the election is over. Thank goodness, right? lol The party is going to be fun! haha I love ugly sweater parties in rl, so why not have them in game? 😛 I agree that his friendship with J.P. helps him a lot.

  11. Oh, geez. His sister is Molag Bal. Holden has been so lonely all his life, hasn’t he? There’s really been no one he can share with at the level he desires, no one he can totally trust , no one who completely understands him who shares the goodness of his heart .

    • I had to look Molag Bal up. And… wow! I can see why you make the comparison. I think you’re right that Holden has always been on the lonely side. He’s tried to connect with different people but has always been let down in that regard. You make some really good points!

  12. Rosetta is super creepy… her creep factor just inches up several notches….I can see her killing the person for shooting her brother…..I know there probably aren’t many of us that wouldn’t at least think the fought if fleetingly if someone targeted one of our loved ones. But I fear it caused her to become insane. She’s just not right! I was also worried about him and Ellie. So I wasn’t wrong. I wonder if Rosetta’s able to read her and uses that to her advantage. She gives me the creeps….always has!

    • LOL You are so right to fear Rosetta and get creeped out by her. I think until she killed Ella, she didn’t realize she was actually as powerful as all that. Shelly kind of created a monster when she mentored Rosetta. I think you are right that Rosetta can read Ellie. She is very manipulative, too, which causes a lot of problems for other people.

  13. Woop woop! Chicken is back!

    Whoa. Elli was kinda sharp at the beginning of this chapter. Borderline kind of…you know lol. I can’t help but notice the longer she and Rosetta are together, the fancier her style gets! Don’t get caught up in her world, Ellie. Remember who you are.

    Man, Holden’s plea was so sweet and sad! But it was so honest.

    The inside of J.P.’s house! I didn’t expect it to be so goth LOL. Says a lot about this mysterious wife of his. HA! It would be so cool if you never showed us what she looks like. She could be like Charlie Brown’s mom: just a figment of our imaginations LOL. Are J.P. and Jem wearing the same hair and outfit? He looks the same as the guy in the pic with Bea.

    “I understand that without your staff, everyone would see the darkness you have inside. It’s because of your employees you look so good in public.”

    “I am glad you understand the situation,” she said without any malice in her voice.

    HAAAA!!! I love this woman. I think I am her biggest fan LOL. There is no false pretense with her! Citizens of the Sim world…be afraid. Be VERY afraid! LOL

    • Chicken is baaaack! lol

      I think you’re right that working so closely with Rosetta has influenced Ellie a lot. Perhaps that’s one reason Holden is uncomfortable with the entire thing.

      Holden is always out there with his feelings. Once he’s decided to spill them, that is.

      J.P.’s house is crazy! lol I origanally had them move there because he was going to fix it up and flip it, but I never made it happen. lol Yes, Calpurnia is a bit of a mystery. I like your never showing her idea. Kind of like Niles’ wife Maris on Frasier, too. LOL Oh, that pic of Jem with Bea. LOL You have a super sharp eye. Originally, I had Jem made over like that, took the pic. He’s standing on a hill at the end of the driveway (mainly because when I placed the lot, I did a crummy job of smoothing the edges LOLOL), so he appears a lot taller than her when actually, they are about the same height. Then, I decided he looked too much like J.P. and figured that’s how J.P. would dress. You’ll see Jem next chapter and see I gave him a decidedly different hair, etc. What a messy thing it turned out to be. LOL

      Rosetta is so much fun to write. LOL She is so off kilter! hahaha Yes, sim world… be AFRAID!! lol

  14. Jeez, like Jowita, I find Rosetta pretty creepy. I hope she won’t do anything horrible once she’s elected (’cause I have no doubt she will be).
    Yaaaay, Bea is Chicken again <3 It just wasn’t right before 🙂 It was nice to have a moment between Holden and Ellie as well. Feels like things still aren’t entirely good between them, but I hope it’ll come once she eases up on work. Rosetta has to let her take some time off once they win the election!
    This was lovely as always, Kym 🙂 <3

    • Thank you so much, Louise. 🙂 Holden senses that darkness in Rosetta and Rosetta thinks it will allow her to do good things. Creepy is right.

      I think Bea missed the Chicken thing as much as Holden did. lol I have something good planned for the family after the election is over. 🙂

  15. Wow, Rosetta is so creepy. I shouldn’t be surprised, but she still manages to creep me out, even though we know what she’s like O.o.
    I’m sorry that Holden and Bea have drifted apart from one another. I understand that she’s growing up and all, but Holden is so sad these days when he isn’t that close to his daughter and wife anymore. And Rosetta only makes matters worse. I do hope it gets better at the party that J.P. and Holden talked about.

    • Thank you, Jowita. 🙂 She is creepy, I agree. Holden can only take her in small doses and he doesn’t understand how Ellie can work with her.

      Once the election is over, I have happy plans for our little family! 😀 The party is so silly but fun, too.

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