I had a dementia patient who couldn’t settle. She paced from one end of the room to the other, picked up anything within reach, and set it down again without remembering why. Nothing held her attention for long, and the restlessness wore her out. It wore everyone else out, too.
One afternoon, I learned she used to be a secretary. It wasn’t a dramatic revelation. A family member mentioned she’d spent most of her life at a desk, typing and sorting papers. She’d been organized. Efficient. Proud of her work.
I went to the nurses’ station and grabbed a stack of papers. Nothing important. Just blank forms and old copies. I brought them to her and said she could help me by sorting them. She looked at the stack, then at me, and something in her expression changed. She took the papers with both hands and carried them to her chair like they were valuable.
She spent the rest of the day “sorting” them into piles. The piles didn’t make sense, but they made sense to her. She tapped each stack to straighten it, moved pages from one pile to another, and worked with a focus I hadn’t seen in weeks. The pacing stopped. The fidgeting eased. Her hands had a purpose again, and her mind followed.
It wasn’t a cure or a breakthrough. It was familiar, something that reminded her of who she’d been. For the rest of that day, she wasn’t restless. She was busy.
Sometimes that’s all a person needs.
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13 comments
You found the perfect solution! She needed a purpose, and you gave her one. Brilliant, Kymber! 💫 I hope you are feeling better. Healing hugs! 🌹
What a beautiful story! Far too often folks, like me, who are old are simply warehoused out of sight. I think that’s my biggest fear. The fear of being put away and forgotten.
This is a wonderful story, Kymber. Staying busy with familiar things makes one feel useful. How thoughtful of you to show compassion and lighten up her life. 💗
That is really interesting but also makes a lot of sense. It is also better that pacing around all day.
Wow Kymber! This is a treasure. I sincerely hope you are storing these somewhere and then writing your collection of mini-stories. I think it would make a bestseller, and stories like this will encourage others. Perhaps a title like this: ‘Before They Were Patients: Stories from a Lifetime in Nursing.’
Lovely, my friend.
Your compassion and instinct are superlative. Thank you so much for your care in this case, and for sharing it with us.
That is a beautiful story. You nurses are so wonderful. I had two aunts with dementia. It is a terrible disease.
Wonderful to think of something that clicked with the lady, and made her happy. 🙂
Lovely story Kymber. You are right, sometimes they just need to feel needed or useful.
Touching.
Kymber, this is lovely. Big hugs.
God bless her, so precious. You are a wonderful woman, Kymber. 🙏🏻❤️