I was a hospice nurse, and one of my patients was actively dying. Her joints were mottled, and her skin had cooled in that way that tells you the circulation is pulling back. Her breathing had settled into a slow, uneven rhythm, and her family stood close to the bed, asking what they could bring her because feeding someone feels like care. It feels like love.
I sat with them and talked about how the body changes near the end. It begins conserving what little energy it has left, and digestion becomes less important. Hunger fades as part of that natural process. She wasn’t refusing food or giving up. Her body had already let go of that need.
Food can be hard to manage at that point. It can cause nausea, choking, or other discomfort when the body can no longer process it well. She wasn’t asking for food because her body had already shifted into a different kind of work.
They listened without interrupting, and the room felt calmer as the worry in their faces eased. Their shoulders softened as they stepped a little closer to the bed, not to fix anything, but simply to be with her. In the end, what she needed from them was presence, and they offered it without hesitation.
Thank you for reading, liking, lurking, and commenting. You are important!
Featured image crafted with Copilot, supervised by cats.
↬ Copyright © 2026 | KL Hawke & booomcha.com | All Rights Reserved. ↫
9 comments
Thank you for that explanation. It makes sense.
I was glad to be with my Dad when he passed away. Mum and Bro were there too and I thought Hubby was, but he says no. Dad died surrounded by love, even though he never regained consciousness after a massive heart attack the preceding Thursday evening. I was 300 miles away when my Mum passed. I will never know her last moments as my sister has never discussed them with me. I hope she was not alone.
Not being alone is all she needed to move on. Beautiful.
Have a fabulous day and rest of the week. Love and hugs, my friend. ♥
A beautiful and touching story – thank you for sharing. You could easily write an interesting book on your experiences, Kymber. Well done..
Sadness.
I saw a video about this process a while back. It was very interesting, yet it made me sad. It covered the whole dying process—what happens to the body during that time, and so on. The issue of food intake was also discussed. Of course, the family worries, but ultimately, there is nothing more you need to give the person facing their final days or hours than the love they have already received from them throughout their lives. I find it sad enough as it is that so many elderly people die alone—either they have no surviving relatives, or they aren’t visited in nursing homes even though they actually do have family. Things like that make me incredibly sad and also a bit angry.
Yes. Presence is all that is needed. Prior to my mum passing, she hardly ate. She took some drinks. But not ideal amounts. So it was moisturising her mouth. This was months before she passed. And when the time came, she went peacefully.
She went so peacefully that it was unexpected.
Her end of life was discussed ready. But it wasn’t actively in use because it did not look like she would pass anytime soon.
In those last few days I had with my mum, although she was quiet and no interaction with me, I sensed the day before she would pass away. I expected it during the night and finding the message when up the next morning for work. Or during at work. But it was just before lunchtime when she passed away.
So hard. People like you are amazing doing this kind of work!
a tough transition