I had a woman in long‑term care whose daughter brought her candy every week. She’d arrive with a bright smile, set the dish on the bedside table, and fill it until it looked like a holiday display. The woman loved it. She’d sit back and admire the colors like they were flowers.
Over the next few days, she gave every piece away. Visitors, staff, other residents. Anyone who walked past her door. She didn’t hesitate, and she’d press a candy into someone’s hand and say it was a treat. She liked the way people lit up when she offered it, and she liked the small conversations it started. Sharing made her feel connected.
By the end of the week, the dish was empty.
That’s when she’d march to the nurses’ desk with a serious expression and declare someone stole all her candy. She wasn’t joking. Indignation sharpened her voice. She’d point toward her room as if the evidence was still warm. Every week, the same routine. Her daughter would refill the dish, she’d give it all away, and then she’d report the theft.
We never corrected her. There was no need. Candy wasn’t the point; giving was, and the small burst of outrage folded into the rhythm, helping her feel as if she still kept track of her world.
And every week, we listened to her complaint with the same quiet respect. It was her candy, after all.
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13 comments
This is such a lovely story, Kymber. I’m glad the staff was understanding.
Things can get strange with dementia but I guess it is best not to argue or trying to correct them.
You’re right. Correcting rarely helps. In her case, the candy complaint was how she kept her world in order. Listening to her mattered more than the facts.
Getting old and having our memories become mixed up and fading is something that happens
A mind is an amazing thing but when it starts to fall apart it is very hard to see.
I love that you let her continue with the complaint, week after weeks, as if it were the first time. Maggie
Bless her, and bless you all for understanding.
So dear — this story, Kymber. Sending hugs! 💝
A wonderful story! It put a smile on my face. Thank you for sharing!
Interesting read.
What a beautiful post. The staff did the right thing. So beautiful.
I hope you’re feeling better, my friend.
Have a fabulous day and rest of the week. Love and hugs, Kymber. ♥
what did i do that for
why?
I FORGOT
oh dear
Both sad and beautiful at once, Kymber. God bless her. I hope you are feeling better. ☺️