Chapter 3.10: Dear Diary, Info to Act Upon

14

Dear Diary, I feel so confused by men that I decided to talk to Agathe about it. But once we sat down, I found the words difficult to produce. I mean, two of the men I was referring to were her own brothers, the other a hired hand. How could I bring this up?

“Honestly, Blue, you do beat all. Spit it out or hold it in – I have things to do,” Agathe groused.

Normally, her attitude would be completely off-putting to the point where I would decide holding it in would be best, however, spitting it out seemed the only thing to do since it was bothering me so much.

“Well, this is a bit difficult for me to articulate.”

She wasted no time in pursing her lips after making a “tsk” sound. “This sounds suspiciously like boy trouble.”

As the typical redness rushed into my cheeks, I nodded slightly.

Thankfully, Agathe’s expression softened and she sighed lightly, folding her hands in her lap. I guess now that she knew what we were talking about, she understood it could take a while.

My voice trembled slightly as I ventured forward. “Yesterday, I saw Elliott with… someone… and it left me feeling really confused. Then Matt – uh Matthieu – well, I am not one hundred percent positive, but I think he… well, it seemed to me that he wanted to have a serious kind of talk.”

“A talk?”

“You know… the talk.”

“Oh!” She seemed surprised but didn’t dispute my claim.

“And you see, we haven’t even dated or anything.”

She smiled a little and shook her head. “But you’ve known him since you’ve been here. It’s not dating someone that helps you figure out if you want to be with them or not; it’s knowing them. Spending time with them. Listening to their stories and going from there.* That is how you find compatibility.”

I thought about this and realized she was right. This was not a huge island and I’d been spending time with all of the guys, listening to their stories and getting to know them. Reaching this conclusion, I began to feel better.

15

But Agathe wasn’t done. “How exactly did you feel when you saw Elliott?”

Reflecting for a moment, I began to wonder if I’d been jealous or embarrassed or both. “I’m not sure. Like I said, I really felt confused. I was angry and embarrassed, I guess.”

“Do you have feelings for Elliott, then?”

As she asked that question, I watched her carefully for any indication of disapproval, but there didn’t seem to be any that I could detect. So, the only thing to do was to be completely candid so it could all be sorted out. “I didn’t think so but I didn’t really react like someone who doesn’t care, did I? He called out to me when he noticed I had come upon them, but I ran away in tears.”

“Tears of betrayal or tears of humiliation?”

Thinking very carefully, I finally felt like I could answer. “Humiliation. I was mortified that I had come upon what looked to me as an intimate moment. I was angry that it was the girl from town and she’d been so rude to me.”

16

Agathe’s eyebrow went up. “Girl from town? What girl?”

I had the distinct feeling she already knew but I told her anyway. “Audrey-Ann. I don’t know her last name but – ”

” – She was here? On the island?”

“Y-yes, but I’m not trying to get anyone in trouble.” Although I couldn’t imagine why anyone should be in trouble. “What’s wrong?”

“Elliott and that girl have a long and complicated past. I thought we were finally rid of her, but apparently not.”

“What happened with them?” I asked softly, holding back a gasp.

For a minute, I thought she wasn’t going to fill me in, but I suppose she needed time to calm down. “Audrey-Ann used to live here with her parents, Telfour and Heloise Legrand. I think Elliott must have had a crush on her his entire life because they were always together, even as children.” She pulled out a handkerchief and began to fold it, then refold it. “As Audrey-Ann grew older, she drew a lot of attention from other boys as well. To make a long story short, she and Elliott were promised to one another and were in the process of setting a date when instead, she ran off with one of Elliott’s friends, Noll Meyer. They sneaked off the island on the last ferry one evening and Elliott was left with nothing but empty promises.”

The slut! I furiously thought. How could she do that to a decent guy like Elliott? Of course, I didn’t share my opinion aloud. “That’s terrible,” was all I said.

“It certainly was. I’m very disappointed that he would see her now. I will get to the bottom of this. I don’t want her anywhere near him or on this island!”

“Where are her parents? Do they still live on the island?”

Agathe shook her head. “I wish they did. They were kind and honorable people. But when they discovered the shame their daughter brought upon them, they left. I personally pleaded with them to stay, but they wouldn’t.”

My heart felt heavy now as I thought about everything Elliott had been through. Then I remembered something else I wanted to speak to Agathe about. “May I ask you a question? It’s personal and I’m afraid you might think I’m butting in, but I really just want to understand.”

“Understand what?”

17

I held my breath for a second, then blurted it out, “I was wondering what sort of problem you have with Dax? He’s made so much progress recently and you’ve barely acknowledged him. He hasn’t said so, but I think he’s a little hurt by it.”

Again, she kept folding and refolding her handkerchief. “Oh dear,” was all she said.

“Really, I feel as if there is something more about his accident then what has been told to me.”

“Oh, Blue… I was a disobedient and foolish child,” she said softly, unshed tears glinting in her eyes.

“I have a hard time believing that,” I said, trying to use my soothing voice that I’d learned from my dad.

She dabbed at her eyes with the handkerchief, then went back to her habit of folding. “Well, it is true, I’m afraid.” Her icy blue eyes didn’t seem as harsh with the reflection of tears in them. In fact, they seemed far away now and I wondered where she was. But then, a small smile curled the edges of her mouth and she said, “I wasn’t always an ugly old woman, you know.” Before I could protest her assessment of herself, she waved at me to be quiet and continued, “I was once in love, too. It was more wonderful than anything I’d ever felt before or since. His name was Nicholas Wyatt.” She paused again and I waited, hoping she would go on. “He had yellow hair like me and his eyes…. oh, his eyes were hazel and lovely. I promised him I would marry him as soon as he spoke to my parents and asked their permission.”

Slowly, I let out my breath. “What happened?”

Frowning, she said, “Dax’s accident happened. He was riding his horse to town to pick up some art supplies that Papa had ordered from the mainland. Mama instructed me to go with him.”

“But you didn’t,” I said.

She shook her head, the color draining from her face as she remembered that day. “I promised I would, but I sneaked off to meet Nicholas instead. When the accident happened, I wasn’t there to stop it. I wasn’t there to get help or to comfort him.” She covered her face with her hands as she cried.

No wonder she couldn’t bear to look at her little brother. Every time she saw him and the scars crisscrossing his face, she was reminded of her role in that fateful day.

Pulling her thin body toward me, I held her in my arms, stroking her hair. After a time, she sat up straight again and wiped her eyes. “You must think me a silly old woman.”

This time, I shook my head as I realized that grief over Dax’s accident must have prematurely aged her because I didn’t believe she was all that much older than Elliott. “No. I think you’ve carried around a horrible burden that was never really yours.”

“I’ve always felt that if I hadn’t disobeyed, it never would have happened.”

“That’s irrational,” I firmly said. “It probably still would have happened, you wouldn’t have been able to stop it and you would still feel responsible when it’s not your fault.”

As if a light bulb had gone on, her eyes brightened a little. “Well, Blue, it seems to me you are wiser than you once were.”

I laughed. “We can hope!”

18 149203035440936

While I went up the two flights of stairs to get to my room, I thought about a young Agathe and her boyfriend Nicholas. What a handsome couple they must have made.

That’s when an idea hit me like a ton of bricks! As soon as my feet hit the third floor landing, I barreled into the room I shared with Alice, making her jump about three feet.

19

“Good heavens, Blue!” she gasped.

“You are not going to believe what I just learned,” I gushed, spilling the entire story to her.

She smiled patiently at me. “I knew all of that.”

“What? You did? Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

She laughed good naturedly and put a finger over her lips saying, “Shhhh…..”

20

“So, tell me, does Nicholas Wyatt still live on the island and is he married now?”

“Yes, he lives here and no, he’s not married. He’s a bit of a loner – Oh, Blue, tell me you’re not thinking what I think you’re thinking!”

“I am! I totally am!”

“Oh, no,” she warned, “meddling in love never turns out right. Never.”

“I have to try.”

“But why?”

Grinning from ear to ear, I said, “Because she still loves him. I could tell!”

21

“It’s still not a good idea, and that’s the last I’ll say about it.”

“Good,” I laughed.

She climbed in to bed and was almost instantly asleep.

22

I tossed and turned, unable to get over the excitement of making Agathe happy. At least, I hoped it would.

1

I was the first one up the next morning. In fact, I’d taken to getting up really early because I found that I enjoyed that time of day before anyone else was about. Boy, would my dad be surprised when I saw him, to know that the girl he couldn’t drag out of bed to go fishing on Saturdays, now got up at the crack of dawn intentionally.

2

“You’re not going anywhere near Nicholas Wyatt today,” Alice instructed as she opened the door to go downstairs.

“I’m not making any promises,” I said with a bright smile.

3

Since I was up so early, I thought I’d get coffee started. The guys could enjoy a cup or two while they waited for breakfast. But as I entered the kitchen, I soon found I wasn’t alone.

4

“Hello, Blue,” Audrey-Ann timidly said.

With a sinking heart, I responded with, “Hello.”

“I know we got off on the wrong foot in the hotel. And, well, I was hoping I could talk to you.”

5

In my mind, I said, If we must. But one thing I had learned was that I shouldn’t always say what’s on my mind. “Please… sit down.”

We both sat at the table and I waited for her to speak. I’ll admit, I did feel a little impatient since she was intruding on my morning alone time and she also happened to be someone I didn’t like very much.

“I’m really sorry about how I acted toward you in town,” she began. “I recognized you from all the online sites about you and I thought Elliott knew who you were. I was trying to show off in front of him.”

7

I decided to just lay it all on the line, “Look, I appreciate and accept the apology. But why are you here? I thought you and Elliott broke things off a long time ago. Aren’t you married?”

8

She frowned and looked like she might cry. “We’re divorced now,” she said softly. “Leaving Elliott was the worst mistake I ever made.”

“Well, I imagine you’re right about that.”

“I am, believe me. He was the only man I’ve ever loved and I just made a complete mess out of everything.”

9

“If you loved him so much, how could you marry someone else?”

A few stray tears rolled down her cheeks and she dabbed at them with a napkin from the table. “Until now, I’ve been afraid to tell anyone the reason. But Elliott said I could trust you.”

“He knows we’re speaking then.”

10

She nodded and all I saw in her china doll eyes was sincerity.

Sighing, I said, “You can tell me. I will not repeat it.”

“Mathilde St. Cyr, Elliott’s mother, never approved of me. She wanted him to marry someone else even though he loved me. She said that Noll Meyer had agreed to marry me and leave the island and that I must agree to it.”

“Couldn’t you have refused?”

“Asking that tells me you don’t have a real grasp of how things are run here. If the St. Cyr Matriarch tells you to do something and your parents don’t object, then you do it.”

“B-but Agathe told me that you sneaked off with Noll.”

“That’s only what she was told. My parents told everyone they were leaving the island in shame, but instead, they joined me on the mainland. They’re still there, but they won’t speak to me now because of the divorce. You see, they left everything behind because of me and now they can’t come back. And for the marriage to have broken up, they did it all for nothing.”

I was stunned. Paradise was not paradise after all. These people had just as many problems, it seemed as anyone anywhere. “What is it you want?”

She sobbed now. “I want to come back and marry Elliott. And he wants to marry me.”

11

After I consoled Audrey-Ann, I escaped to the pond near the potting shed. It wasn’t even eight o’clock in the morning and already the day was turning out to be a whopper. It amazed me further that when I heard footsteps behind me, I could tell who they belonged to.

12

“Yes, I spoke with her,” I said before he could ask. “And you know what’s weird? I really like her. She’s nice.”

“I love her but I don’t want to leave the farm.”

13

Turning to face him, I said, “Then tell Agathe you are going to marry her and the two of you are staying on.”

His eyes narrowed and he winced. “I told her as much already this morning and she refuses to listen. She doesn’t believe our mother would have ever forced Audrey-Ann into a marriage she didn’t want and one that included leaving the island.” Clenching his fist, he added, “She can be so insufferable!”

14

“If you love her as you say you do, perhaps you should leave the island with her.”

“I’ve been to town and I don’t like it. I shouldn’t have to leave my home to be with the one person who makes me happy.”

“I don’t disagree,” I said. “And I would hate it if you left.”

“Would you speak to her on my behalf, Blue? Would you tell her that you like Audrey-Ann? She’s willing to adhere by the community rules; she’s no stranger to them.”

15

“Of course I will, but I don’t know why you think my opinion would matter?”

He smiled then and the sureness in his eyes had my curiosity piqued. “It would,” he firmly said. “I’m certain of it.”

“I won’t make any promises that you’ll have the outcome you are hoping for, but I’ll give it my all,” I said.

16

Suddenly, almost giddily, he pulled me into his arms, embracing me tightly. “Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome,” I said simply, even though I didn’t think my talking to Agathe would make any difference.

17

When he let go of me and we stepped apart, we were met with Dax, his face red, his body shaking.

“Keep your hands off of her!” he yelled at Elliott.

“Hey, wait – ”

” – No, you wait!”

18

“No, you wait!” I glowered at Dax, my finger pointing directly at him, my eyes spitting nails. “What’s the big idea, storming over here and attacking your brother like that?”

Dax was clearly taken aback, his arms at his sides, his breath ragged. “He had his hands on you!”

“It was a friendly hug and who are to say whether someone can hug me or not?”

19

“Blue!” Matthieu called from atop Kelty. He trotted over, lazily grinning. “Looks like you might like to go for a ride.”

Grinning, I stepped forward. “Please,” I said as he took my arm and pulled me onto the horse behind him.

20

Matthieu, still nonchalantly smirking, looked down at the other two men and said, “Well, I don’t know when we’ll be back. Don’t wait up!”

I giggled as we galloped away on Kelty.

 

 

*Author’s Note: I would like to send a huge thank you to fluffymao who writes both The Mayfields and The Diabolical Legacy (I love these and read them both!). She wrote the wonderful advice Agathe gave to Blue about dating and I used it with her permission. 🙂 

Happy-Easter-bunny-on-sign

45 thoughts

  1. Finally I can say it out loud! Team Matthieu! Team Matthieu!! Who wouldn’t fall for the deep artistic guy with the wounded soul? But, can it be love? I dunno. There seems to be a lot of mystery and intrigue on this island for a group of people who try to live simple lives. Goes to show that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence. Is it?

    Liked by 3 people

  2. My dear, I didn’t expect her running away with Matthieu.When two quarrel, a third wins, isn’t it just like that? But it didn’t get me team Matt at all. I still love Dax 🙂 ❤
    I loved reading about the twists of farming community's life, it's all so interesting. I'm not sure if I can trust Audrey-Ann, but that may get one boy off Blue, so that's good, she can be left just with the two of them. I really enjoyed looking at young Agathe, too, who would expect her to be so pretty and gentle-looking?
    Blue is just so mature that she decided to run away with Matthieu to avoid explaining everything. What a clever idea, lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL! Thank you, Jowita. Not on team Matt? Well, you just never know where this story is going to go. haha (Sometimes, I don’t know either 😛 ).

      I’m glad you find the farming community’s lives interesting. It just all goes to show that people have problems no matter where they are. lol

      Agathe was pretty, wasn’t she? Sounds like Blue has some plan cooking! LOL

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Nothing’s taking me away from Dax, I swear I love him so much! ❤ Plus he reminds me of Dellie in a way with his artistic ways and it makes me feel more connected to him. Can't wait to see what plan Blue comes up with!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh!!!! Wow…I didn’t expect that! Riding off with Matt. Well, at least we are now down to two ships. Batthieu or Blax! Have to say I am still shipping Blax. But seems like Matthieu has the advantage. If Dax wants her he has a lot to overcome. Her leaving like that will certainly do something to him. Maybe Elliot can show him how he is going to fight for Audrey-Ann and Dax will fight for Blue. Love Audrey-Ann’s name! But then I am a little prejudiced. 🙂

    Will we be seeing more of her family and what is wrong with her father soon. So worried about him.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Audrey. Oh yes, I can say that you will see The Capra family in chapter 12 and you will learn what is going on with Leo. 🙂

      Batthieu or Blax! I like it! hahaha I see you are firmly team Dax, and that’s okay.

      I agree that riding off with Matthieu will definitely have an effect on Dax. Will Blue like his reaction or not? Hmmm…. 😀

      I like what you said about Elliott demonstrating how to fight for her.

      I love the name Audrey, too! 😀

      Like

  4. I may be a bit biased since my husband’s name is Matthew (spelled differently of course) so I am with Bee when I say Team Matt all the way!!!

    One thing I think we can agree on though is that I never really thought Elliott was good enough for her. He always seemed like a bit of a player, but now I know that it was more than just flirting with the hotel girl.

    The advice that Agetha gave Blue is so true. Hopefully she can take some of her own advice and go see Nicholas Wyatt!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. haha Good point about taking her own advice. 😀 Thank you, socallucyfan.

      Team Matt! All righty! Glad to have you on board. 😀 I’m not counting him out.

      When Elliott met Audrey-Ann at the hotel, he had hearts with her, so I just knew there needed to be a backstory there. Then, on the island, he met with her behind my back. hahaha

      Like

  5. It seems to me, life is picking up for Blue, all this intrigue and unexpected revelations! She should have quite the diary when she leaves…IF she leaves! =) I am still “Team Dax”, but he had better get on the ball if he is going to win Blue over. Living in his own little world for so long, I can see why it would be a real revolation to see other guys paying attention to Blue. Even if it turns out to be Matt, or no one at all, I hope Dax and Agathe can finally go back to being brother and sister, no blame involved! It will certainly be interesting to see if Blue can convince Agathe about the truth of what Audrey-Ann said happened. I , too, love the response Agathe gave Blue about ‘dating’ and getting to know someone. I am glad you ‘borrowed’ that line! Although, it does sound like something you might come up with on your own!! =) Glad to know more info is coming on what is going on with Blue’s family. Have a great Easter!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Marj! Life definitely is picking up for Blue, that’s for sure. She’s learning more and more and trying to find ways to help others, even if she may be a bit misguided. lol

      So, you’re hanging on to team Dax. We shall see, we shall see. lol I thought, too, that with Dax living in his own little world, some things might surprise him. I hope he and Agathe can reunite as brother and sister again, too.

      That fluffymao is a good writer, let me tell you! I had something similar written, but she said it so much better. lol 😀

      Like

  6. Dax got a little too jealous there, didn’t he? Ah well, I still think him and Blue would be a good pair 🙂 I loved reading the backstory of Agathe! I hope she and Nicholas Wyatt end up happy together. Blue received some great dating advice from her; I wonder who she feels most compatible with after all this time…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Raymond. 🙂 And yes, who indeed? Next week, there may or may not be some clues to how she is leaning. lol I’m glad you liked Agathe’s backstory. 🙂 I hope she and Nicholas Wyatt end up together, too. It does seem Blue has something up her sleeve about that.

      As for Dax, yes, jealousy reared its ugly head. I wonder if he is regretting his reaction now? We will definitely find out soon. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO Matt is up to no good. My instincts are screaming at Blue to get off that horse. He is not as sweet as he seems and that man is up to no good. Blue is going to find herself in a situation that is going to scare her for life!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Wow! That certainly was a reaction from Dax! I’m still on his team though, it just seems like he has to work through some problems first. And hmm… Audrey-Ann. I’m not quite sure whether to trust her or not, the mystery on this island is just getting thicker and thicker. Great chapter ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Lila! 🙂 Yes, Dax definitely has to work on some things, I agree.

      It’s understandable that Audrey-Ann would draw some suspicion, I think. There are just too many stories about her going around at the moment.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Agathe was quite the looker in her younger days! O.o Stunning, really! I’m not entirely sure why I’m so surprised by that, looking at Elliot and Dax.

    I think I like Audrey-Ann. She seems like the type to have had an “experimenting” phase when younger, but has mellowed out as she’s gotten older and a bit wiser. I wish her and Elliot the best of luck, with only the hope that Blue doesn’t mess up her burgeoning friendship with Agathe by talking to her on Elliot’s behalf.

    Dax! Where the hell are your manners, boy?! That little scene just reaffirms to me that Dax has his own world and emotions to figure out before he should even THINK about connecting himself to another human. It’s fine to love someone, but you’ve got to be sure of yourself before you can give yourself entirely to another person. And that’s what love requires.

    Needless to say, I’ve been trying to stay impartial, but at this point I think I’ve tip-toed into the Matthieu camp. He’s at least been trying to be upfront to Blue (wanting to have that talk and all). And if she’s not ready for a relationship, I think he’s a solid enough guy that he’ll understand that if she’s upfront with him. Communication! The fricking foundation of relationships! Use it, people!

    Oh, you! *blushes like a tomato* Thanks for the callout, but I was perfectly happy to assist, regardless! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Agathe is certainly surprising. So many layers to her. I’m glad Blue is realizing that no matter where you are or go there will always be problems and things you don’t like or understand. I do like how she’s starting to grow past that self centered stage.
    Why does Elliot feel that Agathe will listen to Blue when she won’t listen to anyone else? There has to be a reason more than Agathe seems to connect with Blue more than she does the rest of those on the island. I have my doubts whether Blue should play match maker. That has the potential of blowing up in her face!
    I feel bad for Dax 😦 Of course he reacted badly seeing his brother hug Blue but I’m not sure going off with Matt was the right thing to do at that particular moment. Nothing like adding fuel to the fire.
    Audrey Ann doesn’t see that bad but I have a feeling there’s more to the story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, dandylion! 🙂

      The more I write Agathe, the more I like her character. It’s a really good thing Blue is seeing that the grass isn’t alway greener. I think it’s one of the things that has helped her mature.

      As for Elliott, I think he’s desperate as he is caught between a rock and a hard place. I think Blue felt kind of uncomfortable for him to ask that of her, tbh, but she is going to give it a try.

      Blue perhaps should not play matchmaker as that sort of thing can blow up in her face. Let’s hope whatever she does, the consequences are good, not bad. lol

      Blue and Matt riding off sure caught Dax by surprise, I’ll tell you that. lol Hopefully, they will talk this incident out at some point.

      We’ll be seeing more of Audrey-Ann in the future. Let’s hope she is good to Elliott if they do end up together. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Wow, for people that aren’t so spiffy to the modern ways, they sure have a lot of drama! Blue and her love square! Well, more like triangle now, because Elliot has his eyes on a certain blonde. I hope they work it out. I believe wholeheartedly that Elliot’s mom would do that. I don’t know much about her, but I feel like Elliot wouldn’t just make that up. Anyway, let’s see if Blue really can sway Agathe. I feel like they definitely have a sort of motherly/daughterly bond. I don’t think Agathe is that much older, but to me she feels like a mother figure for Blue for sure.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I agree that that’s exactly how I think their relationship has formed.

      They do have a lot of drama, don’t they? lol You’re so right that Elliott wouldn’t make that up. I think Agathe is just stubborn. 😛 Perhaps Blue can soften her up a bit.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Hmmm ok. I guess I can let Elliot go with Audrey-Ann if they love each other so much, whatever. I don’t care 😭 LOL
    I think I’m team Matthieu now! The way he showed up on that horse… as Tony Soprano would say: “the strong, silent type”! I feel like Dax is still a kid, and Blue, being also a kid in the process of growing up, needs a man. And maybe that could be Matt! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Blue is gorgeous. I’m not surprised these guys are fawning over her. I wonder who she’ll end up with. I’m kind of leaning more towards Matt, but who knows? There may be more suitors in the future.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You never know, that’s for sure 😀 Thank you for your compliment of Blue. She was born that way – I don’t change anything about the sims except hair style, makeup, etc. She had hearts with all three: Elliott, Dax and Matt.

      Liked by 1 person

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