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Friday, April 26, 2024
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Chapter 6.8: Dear Diary, a Good Father

Dear Diary, true to her word, Karen “hid” in the kitchen… near the knives. Jem hadn’t arrived yet but Karen didn’t want to risk being seen. While I paced to try and calm my twitchy muscles, she had a determined look in her eyes.

“If he so much as looks at you funny, I’ll be all over him like wet toilet paper! He won’t be able to get rid of me!”

“Eww… bad visual, Karen,” I said with a quick, high-pitched laugh.

“Sometimes, I think you don’t understand how dangerous this situation might be.”

“What happened to you, Karen? What did Nightmare do to you?” I’d wanted to know since I met her but this was the first time I felt like asking was appropriate.

Her nostrils flared and she lifted her chin. “Someday, I’ll tell you. But he’s a bad man.” Hiccuping on a sob, she closed her eyes and whispered. “Very bad.”

I took her hand and squeezed it the same way my dad had so many times when I’d been upset before. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pried.”

She forced a feeble smile, her eyes still full of pain. “It’s okay. I just can’t talk about it yet. You have to understand, though, today might not go the way you expect.”

“If it gets bad or out of control, you’re here to help. My phone is ready to call the police.”

Going over our emergency plan seemed to calm her. She nodded and slid the knife drawer open just in case.

I couldn’t imagine needing a weapon against Jem. Yes, there’d been times in the recent past when the way he stood over me was frightening. But a knife? For real? The situation didn’t seem to warrant it.

Right on time, the doorbell rang and my heart jumped into my throat.

“Stay out of sight unless I call you,” I told Karen before heading for the front door.

I stood in the foyer for a few seconds, clearing my throat, straightening my shirt, and shaking out my hands. This was really happening. Finally, I opened the door and let Jem inside.

“Hey, Bea,” he said, his voice soft.

“Hey.”

“Um… thanks for letting me come over. I appreciate it.”

“I want you to understand that I’m not going to fight with you. So, if that’s your intention, perhaps you ought to leave now.”

His mouth fell open but he remained calm.

“I don’t want to fight either. I meant that when I said it yesterday.”

His words did little to comfort me as our past arguments remained in the forefront of my mind. The room felt very cold all of a sudden and I rubbed my arms.

“Well, good. That’s good,” I stammered. “We can talk in here.”

I brought him into the living room and he waited for me to sit before he did. he shifted his weight in the chair a few times as if he couldn’t get comfortable and I realized he might be as anxious as me.

When he didn’t speak right away, I clenched my hands in my lap. Was he expecting me to start this? I wasn’t the one who wanted to talk!

“It’s hard to-to say this.”

Nodding, I said, “We used to be best friends. We told each other everything once.”

A small smile played at the corners of his mouth even as his lower lip shook. “I wish we were like that now.”

“Me, too.” When he didn’t speak, I prodded him along. “Start at the beginning, Jem.”

After a slow sigh, he said, “The beginning. Well, you went to Sunlit Tides, and I went to culinary school. Do you remember how we left things?”

I swallowed again, trying to moisten my dry as dirt mouth. “I remember. We hoped to stay friends forever and would keep in touch. There were no expectations of being together romantically.”

“That’s true. Although, I always hoped.”

“You never told me that.”

His left knee began to bounce. “I thought you knew. How could you not know how I felt about you?”

I threw my hands up in a gesture of surrender, the color in my face rising. “Are you saying all of this is my fault? How am I supposed to read your mind?”

“No, no,” he said. “I’m not blaming you. I thought we were so close, you knew how I felt.”

“Well, I didn’t.”

He averted his eyes, moving in the chair to get more comfortable and I noticed his hands shaking. My heart had always melted around him but I was determined to hold fast and get to the bottom of this.

“The truth is,” he said, “I loved you and knew you didn’t love me. Not the same way. It was hard when I went to culinary school because I missed you so much. Then, I met someone.” He paused and I could see a distant stare in his eyes. “Her name was Meadow. Isn’t that pretty? Just like her name, she was a free spirit and beautiful. I think from the moment we met, I was in love with her.”

“Did she love you, too?”

His lips shook again, and he rubbed the back of his neck before answering. “Yes,” he choked out. “We were inseparable. She was an artist… a sculptor. She created such beautiful things. Every time she made something, I couldn’t wait to figure out where it should go in our apartment. We, uh, spent hours just talking about our future. You know, getting married, how many kids we wanted, where we’d live, that sort of thing. She was all I ever wanted and my dreams were coming true.”

He shifted his weight and rubbed his palms on his pants. Finally, I asked, “What happened?”

“S-she had strange moments.” His shoulders drooped until he was no longer sitting straight in the chair.

“Strange moments?”

“Uh, there were times she was… prone to melancholy. You know, I never thought of her as depressed. I spoke with her sister once who told me since their parents’ deaths, Meadow had these times where she was especially full of sorrow. It seemed normal since she’d been through so much. I also figured artistic types were like that to some extent, anyway.”

I had a feeling I already knew where this was heading and didn’t know what to say, so I waited for him to continue. My insides felt tense, and I was cold all over again.

“I asked Meadow to marry me and she accepted. For once, everything in my life was going good. I was nearly done with school and we could get married after I graduated.” His eyes closed, and he looked like someone might if they were praying. When he spoke, his voice was full of anguish. I’d never heard that from him before. “I was sure she was as happy as me. So how could she do it, Bea? How?”

As tears ran down his face, I felt compelled to lean across and take his hand. “Did-did she take her own life?”

He nodded and stammered his way through the story. “It was finals week and my mind wasn’t on anything but that. It frustrated me because she was pestering me constantly and I told her if she was having one of her moody, wet blanket moments to call her sister because if I didn’t graduate, we couldn’t get married. After a while, I realized she wasn’t home and went to look for her. I thought maybe she’d gone to her sister’s. It wasn’t until the police came to my door several hours later that I-” he paused and swiped tears from his face with a shaking hand, “-that I found out she’d jumped from a bridge and died.” He choked up and took a moment in an attempt to compose himself. “I never should have said that to her. I should have paid attention.”

He openly sobbed now, and I was completely taken aback by what he’d been through. Sliding my arms around him, I gently rubbed his back with one hand. I couldn’t imagine being in that situation and losing the love of my life to suicide.

After a few moments, he stiffened and adjusted his seat. So, I returned to my chair.

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” I said.

As he wiped his eyes on his sleeve, he shifted his weight again. “Now there are no secrets between us.”

“I feel terrible about what happened,” I said, “but… that doesn’t explain why you suddenly showed up and wanted to get married.”

“I think I went a little crazy. After the funeral, I realized I pushed her to do what she did. I lost her because of my stupidity. I remembered how I loved you and I was afraid I’d lose you, too. I couldn’t let that happen! So, I made arrangements with the restaurant in Sunlit Tides and came to you as soon as I could.”

“But why did you want to get married?”

His cheeks turned bright red and he wouldn’t look at me. “We got married on the day Meadow and I were supposed to get married.”

My thoughts were fuzzy as I tried to understand what he was saying. “OMG, Jem, what?”

“I’m sorry, Bea, I really, truly am! I’m telling you, I had this urgent need to be with you. And, I couldn’t lose you the way I lost Meadow. But I did anyway.”

The thought of losing someone else scared him. It was clear in his voice and words. And now, I had to sort this mess out in my own mind. It was much more complicated than I’d thought-Jem was more complicated.

“Do you hate me, Bea?”

The anguish and fear in his voice was hard to miss.

Finally, I answered him. “No, I don’t think I could ever hate you. But I’m angry you put us through this.”

Hanging his head, he said, “I’m so sorry.”

“Continue going to therapy, grieve for Meadow the right way, and be a good dad to our child. Then, maybe, we can piece our friendship back together.”

“I’ll do my best.”

It was all I could ask.

“That was heavy,” Karen said as I joined her in the kitchen.

“Do you think I was too hard on him?”

“What?” she exclaimed. “He put you through hell! He’s just lucky I was listening and didn’t need to brain him.”

I tried to laugh, but it stuck in my throat. “Yeah, he put me through a lot, but look at what he went through. I hope I didn’t make him feel worse.”

Karen’s eyes widened, and she shook her head. “Listen here, girlfriend, because I’m only saying this once. He went through something terrible but instead of dealing with it, he dragged you in up to your eyeballs. As for today and what happens from here on out, you are not responsible for his emotions. Did you hear me? He’s a grown ass man and you’re only responsible for you.”

Where has this friend been all my life?

“I hear you loud and clear.”

“I still think I should write it down and tape it to your bathroom mirror. You can read it over and over while you brush your teeth,” she said with a smirk.

” You‘re hilarious.” Although, that didn’t seem like such a bad idea.

As the weeks wore on, I saw Jem less. He seemed to always be coming or going and my dad said he thought Jem was visiting home a lot and going to therapy.

I was glad Jem was striving to work through his problems and I was sure someday, our friendship would get back on track. It would probably never have the closeness it once did since he made such a mess of my life, but I’d rather be friends with my baby’s father than not.

In my life, I worked less and slept more. It was hard to get comfortable when I rested. The best position seemed to be on my left side.

I did the normal things you do in life like work, pay the bills, and laundry. Isn’t this the creepiest basement ever? My skin crawled every time I went down there.

The best thing that happened? I finalized my divorce from Jem. There was little fanfare as we met with our attorneys and signed the paperwork. In fact, we were so cordial, it seemed to me we could have done without the lawyers altogether.

We agreed to share custody since we lived next door to each other and both of us worked full time. The final decision I made was to keep the last name Poe so I wouldn’t have a different last name from the baby.

One night I was feeling weird. Actually, I woke up in the morning feeling weird. There was this occasional curious pressure that gripped me in the middle. It didn’t hurt… it was just strange and not the norm.

“Hi, Bea. What’re you doing?”

“Oh, hi.” I hadn’t seen Jem approaching. “I felt restless and decided to get some air. What’re you doing?”

“I just got off work. When I saw you outside, I thought I’d say hi. I hope that’s okay.”

He was so easygoing tonight, it was effortless smiling at him in return. “Yeah, of course, that’s okay. How have you been?”

“Oh, you know,” he said, his voice trailing off. “I’ve been working a lot of hours so I can have a cushion in case the baby needs anything we didn’t think of.”

“That’s really great, thank you.”

All at once, my water broke, splashing on the sidewalk.

“Oh no,” I said, disgusted that my feet were wet.

Jem’s eyes were wide as saucers. “Oh, uh, okay, I’ll grab your suitcase!”

“It’s in the front closet. I’ll call the doctor.”

As the labor pains began, it surprised me how calm we both were. There was no shouting or crashing into each other, falling to the ground. No strange antics.

He was concerned but not panicked and I was grateful for that.

He called for a cab and off we went on our journey to the hospital.

The ride was uncomfortable but not unbearable. Jem held my hand and was attentive, which is what I was hoping for. By the time we got to the hospital, my pains were more severe and regular at about eight minutes apart.

I labored for twelve hours, fifteen minutes. Jem never left me.

And we welcomed our daughter, Kara, into the world. She was seven pounds, 14 ounces, and nineteen inches in length. And she had bright, coppery red wisps of hair.

Jem has been a good father and supportive ex-husband. We’re not extremely close, but we get along well enough to parent our little Kara together.

Living next door to each other turned out to be a good thing because between the two of us, we’re both there during important moments in Kara’s life. We take turns having her depending on our work schedules, too.

Kara is a riot with Jem’s red hair. She’s a spunky little thing that brings tons of joy to our lives. I don’t know what her future holds, but Jem and I are determined to provide her with a good childhood.

Author’s Note: I would like to thank Bee (Poses by BeeStories by Bee) for making the lovely poses in the last pic of Bea, Jem, and Kara. Thank you, Bee! You can find the poses I used on her site here: Family Set 3.

Once again, I must apologize for being behind in reading. I’m working on it, I promise. 😀 You all are fantastic writers!

As always, thank you for reading, liking, lurking, and commenting,

Kymber Hawke
Kymber Hawkehttps://booomcha.com/
I am a simmer, Rennie garb wearer, author, and dog petter. Judy Garland is my queen, horror movies & classic movies are my jam. INFJ with "Unity Hayes" as a pseudonym. A little bit eccentric, owned by two cats, Cesare & Josie-Pye. 🐱🐱

55 COMMENTS

  1. I feel bad for Jem and what he went through. It’s never easy losing someone to suicide. However, that doesn’t make it right for him to come back and want to marry someone else, especially on the day you and your girlfriend were to be married. That’s just crazy! He has a bit of some psycho tendencies.

    At least they were able to remain somewhat amicable. That’s good for Kara’s sake because it’s more stable for her and less stress for everyone. Hopefully it will last, but this is probably the calm before the storm.

    I wonder what was up with Karen’s ex-husband. It sounds like she’s been through the wringer, too, and I can’t wait to hear her story.

    • I think you have Jem pegged. It’s hard not to feel sorry for him, but at the same time, he gives off the creep vibe.

      Let’s hope they stay amicable. As you said, that’s best for Kara, and everyone, really.

      You’ll find out about Karen’s ex-husband in the very near future. It’s bad.

  2. Yes Karen, yes! Jem needs to be an adult and deal with his grief properly, in a way that won’t hurt anybody else. There was absolutely no need to force Bea into playing Meadow 2.0 and Bea has no obligation to him. Kara sounds like a wild child, but I’m glad the co-parenting thing is working out without any issues. Can’t wait to see her personality shine!

    • Thank you so much, Raymond. 🙂 Goodness, but you hit all it right on the head. I like how you said Meadow 2.0. You’re sooo right! I can’t wait to see Kara’s personality shine, too. 😀

  3. ” He’s a grown ass man and you’re only responsible for you.”” PREACH! I think she’s one of my favourite side characters in any legacy ever. We all need a bit of Karen in our lives. And I’m so sick of women for putting up with men who want a mother and a wife in one, though I can’t really blame those who do since it’s so accepted and even expected. But seriously, guys, learn how to be an independent human xD
    I’m excited to see this little one grow up!

  4. I don’t know if I can even be less mad at Jem now. Of course it’s terrible what he went through, but getting married on his wedding day to another woman is just so gross. Kind of like proposing to another woman with the same engagement ring. And now I’m wondering if he did that, too.

    It’s just so clear that they’re meant to be friends. Their co-parenting seems to be working out great so far. Kara is adorable!

    • Thank you, Heather. 🙂 I totally get where you’re coming from where Jem is concerned. When you put it like that, it’s definitely gross. I really wouldn’t put it past him to have used the same ring. Icky.

      The co=parenting is working out so far. I hope nothing changes that.

  5. I can’t imagine Bea needing backup against Jem, he doesn’t seem like the type that would physically hurt her. Yet, I am glad that Karen was there nonetheless.
    Wow, what a sad story Jem had. I am glad that he is seeking help to deal with his grief.
    And wow, how adorable is Kara?!?! That red hair is just too cute!!

    • Thank you so much ❤ You’re right about Jem in that he wouldn’t actually hurt Bea. Karen’s past has yet to fully come out and I think she is reacting out of that.

      Jem has been through a lot and I’m glad he’s working through it all, too.

      Kara is so cute in game! And that red hair. haha 😀

  6. Wow, Jem’s story was so sad… I never expected this, I thought he had just gone through a tough breakup. Poor guy… but wanting to marry Bea on the same day he was supposed to be marrying Meadow… that’s crazy! I’m so glad he’s going through therapy right now!
    (Oh and, did I mention I adore Karen? Lmao!)
    Things are finally looking up for those two, it’s a good thing they are on such good terms and in the process of mending their friendship 🙂
    Oooh, and the baby is here! Welcome to the world Kara! She is such a cutie pie! <3 <3

    • Thank you 😀 I love little Kara and since she’s joined this gen early, I hope you get to know and love her, too. 😀 Jem really went off the deepend so it’s good he’s in therapy and it seems to be helping. So far, it seems he and Bea are getting along well enough to be good parents to Kara. I’m so glad you love Karen! 😀 I think in time, we’ll learn her story, too.

  7. I knew it would be something tragic! Just had a feeling, since you didn’t tell me this at all. We talked around it but you hadn’t made a decision. I’m so glad we got to know why and that no knives were used in the telling of this story!

    • Thank you, Bee. 🙂 I went back and forth on this for a while because I didn’t want Jem to come off as a total monster. He made some bad decisions and dragged Bea into it, but he didn’t know how to cope with this tragedy. I’m glad no knives were needed either! haha Imagine me asking for poses for that! LOL

  8. Now I feel sorry for Jem. I can just imagine the guilt he must be feeling, even though it really wasn’t his fault. But he shouldn’t have rushed into another marriage. Especially on that same day… yikes.
    At least, they are civil now and want the best for Kara.

    • Thank you, Violincat, You’re right about Jem and how he shouldn’t have rushed into another relationship like he did. I feel sorry for him, too, though, and how he felt responsible. I think Kara is a good thing Jem can focus on.

  9. “If he so much as looks at you funny, I’ll be all over him like wet toilet paper! He won’t be able to get rid of me!”
    HA! Oh, this is starting out rich LOL.

    Gosh! The fact they even NEED to have an emergency plan… That kinda burns me up.

    His left knee began to bounce. “I thought you knew. How could you not know how I felt about you?”
    I’m sure you know what my face looks like right now.

    Man, poor Jem. That was such a hard thing for him to go through even without feeling guilty about it. Still, I don’t see why he had to marry Bea. I mean, I get he was supposed to marry the other woman, but…I dunno. I still think there’s something wrong with that man LOL.

    “I feel terrible about what happened,” I said, “but… that doesn’t explain why you suddenly showed up and wanted to get married.”
    HA! Yes! I just said that! lol

    “You are not responsible for his emotions. Did you hear me? He’s a grown ass man and you’re only responsible for you.”
    Amen to that! 😀

    Yikes, that basement is quite creepy lol.

    Heeeeeey Kara!

    • Thank you Marj. The truth will set them free 😀 I agree with you about Bea contributing to the mess they ended up in. It’s a good thing, though, they can move forward and raise Kara peacefully. 🙂

  10. Oh wow! Total surprise. This was intense for me because I’ve dealt with suicide. Suicide that is unexpected is the most devastating of an already horrific experience. It can take years to be normal again when you lose a loved one that way. I understand Jem better now. I had a similar experience. The overwhelming loneliness, grief, and guilt pushes you to get away from the hurt by seeking the comfort of someone else and the first choice is always out of desperation. I was pretty much lost, insane, and in such deep hurt the list of bad choices to make is endless. Worst of all, those that have never experienced it judge you harshly for being so deeply harmed by it. There is no one to turn to even those with empathy can’t relate to the pain. Your reveal perfectly frames how we treat survivors and partners of suicide. We are hurt, and our pain is most often cast on those around us further alienating us until the thought of suicide seems to be a valid and inevitable solution. To survive suicide is to learn the depth of dispair and the alienation forces one to learn who they really are and in time the welded soul is stronger, more resilient, and pragmatic. This whole story speaks eloquently to that false journey to find relief through another person when in fact, the journey must be made alone or their can be no recovery only endless cycles of pain and further alienation.

    • You explained such difficult things very eloquently in your comment. Sometimes, I want to take on tough subjects but I’m afraid I won’t do them justice even though I research like crazy and/or have been through certain instances myself. I’m terribly sorry you have personal experience with something so painful. I believe you’re right about having to make the journey alone. I’m glad you came through it. 🙂

      • No worries, Kymber. I’m much better off for experiencing a lot of our darker nature. I definitely learned from it and became a better person for it. Now I adore my noir gothic vampiric werewolf self. It feels just right. 🧛🏻‍♂️ I think you brought us through Jem’s fall from grace gently and you also showed us the other side by giving us Bea’s perspective. Definitely, Bea has to shoulder a heavy load and she was hurt too by Jem’s actions. It seems in the end he began to get it together and share his responsibility for Kara. Excellent story telling and a beautiful lesson we can learn without trying it all for ourselves. I saw the seeds of redemption in the end. What more could we ask for. I have to give you 4 dragon thumbs up for this story.

        • I’m glad to hear you adore your noir gothic vampiric werewolf self. 😀 I hear you about experiences making us who we are. 4 dragon thumbs up? For real? I think I just EEPED out loud! 😀 Thank you again and always for your encouragement.

  11. I really loved this chapter! I’m glad we got to see Jem’s side of the story. It doesn’t make his mistakes any less, but at least shows that people always have reasons to behave a certain way. And I definitely agree with simsered! It’s time for Bea to own up to her own mistakes and stop blaming Jem

    • I’m so glad you loved this chapter! Thank you 🙂 I think you and simsered bring up a good point about Bea. It seems like she could have gotten out of the mess she helped make if she had put her pride aside. She had as much a hand in what happened as Jem did. I like what you said about how people have reasons for doing what they do. We know that’s true for Jem, for sure. 😀

  12. Awe, poor Jem. 😢 I just assumed that she dumped him or something and broke his heart. I feel sorry for him. But he handled his grief the wrong way. It’s pretty messed up to have rushed into getting married to Bea, so it would be on the same date he was supposed to marry Meadow. But I have to say Bea is getting on my nerves a little bit for not owning up to her own mistakes. She blames Jem for putting her through all of this and making a mess of her life, but those were all choices she made too. In the words of Karen (who I really like so far!), Bea is a grown ass woman. She didn’t have to have sex with Jem, but she did. She didn’t have to marry him, but she did. Bea made a mess of her own life and was too prideful to ask for help sooner. She made the wrong choices, and now she has to live with them. They are both at fault for the way things went. At least the divorce is now finalized, and they can both move on. I hope co-parenting is easier for them than the start of their relationship. Rant over, haha. 😄
    I love that Kara got Jem’s red hair! Despite his questionable actions, I think Jem is quite attractive! And it looks like Kara takes after her father. 😊

    • I feel sorry for Jem, too, even though he didn’t handle any of it well. I’m glad you said what you did about Bea. She’s at fault, too, but I think since Jem is now willing to take the blame, it’s easier for her to say it’s his fault. She is definitely flawed but that pride might come back to bite her in the butt someday. You never know. At least they are getting along now and that they are co-parenting as best they can. I think Kara looks like Jem, too. 😀

  13. Ouch. Okay, so I feel a little less angry at Jem now. The poor guy’s been through the wringer. Still, losing your fiancée and then heading off to rebound with your childhood friend and marrying on the date you set with the other woman… that is skeevy. Bea and Jem are definitely better off as friends coparenting, though. I like their solution. And I like Karen a lot! It was so great of her to be there for Bea, because she’s not wrong – it could have been a very different experience. Jem seemed very unbalanced in earlier chapters.
    And yay for little Kara. 😀 She’s very cute-looking. Can’t wait to find out what happens to the odd little family int he future. 🙂
    Ha, ha, this chapter was a nice little nugget of sunshine between Audrey and Jowita’s updates. I mean, I know that Jem’s story was very dark, but was still more lighthearted than the others, lol. 😛
    Wonderful, as always, Kym. <3

    • Jem is less chokeable now, isn’t he? lol But only slightly less since he didn’t just mess up his own life. I think you’re right that Bea and Jem are better off as friends as they parent Kara. I can’t wait for you to get to know Kara, btw. She’s so fun in game and since she was born earlier in the gen, we’ll get to know her pretty well.

      Karen is my fun character right now. She tells it how it is. lol We’ll learn more about her, too, and why she is the way she is.

      I’m glad this chapter was a little nugget of sunshine. I haven’t read Audrey’s chapter yet but I can’t wait to. 😀

  14. That worked out so much better than I thought. I’m glad Karen was there. She is a great friend. So far so good. I hope they both can find someone to,have in their lives and he doesn’t continue to fixate on Bea. And welcome Kara! The next generation! She’s a cutie for sure. ❤️

  15. Oh wow, I never expected that. Well, I figured that his girl left him, but not in this way. He was more on a rebound that we knew; marrying Bea on the same day he was supposed to marry Meadow is just crazy! My goodness, he’s quite a psycho. But, Kara is a cutie and I’m glad that they have quite a neutral relationship right now. What is a mystery still is Karen’s ex… He put her through hell, too, it seems.

    • I agree that it was crazy what Jem did. His rebounding was huge. Kara is so cute in game. I can’t wait for you to see more of her. It’s definitely good that Bea and Jem can put their differences aside for Kara’s sake. As for Karen, we’ll find out, although, I’m not sure if it will be a bonus post or what.

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