Chapter 1.13: Dear Diary, Get the Car, Fool!

Chapter 1.13: Dear Diary, Get the Car, Fool!

Entry 13:

I don’t know how Liev manages, Journal. He is up at the crack of dawn doing what he calls “choring.” Then, he takes a quick horseback ride and off to work he goes. Lately, all I want to do is sleep. I feel all right; I’m not sick or anything, just tired.

Liev says it’s because I’m not used to the fresh farm air yet. I think he means the “stinky air.” But I’ve already written about that.

The way he tells it, you have to get used to not being polluted with every breath. Frankly, I don’t know if he’s right or not. Maybe I’m just a bum that likes to laze around in bed as that wonderful breeze comes through my window in the morning.


My husband has been keeping the same routine. And apparently, it’s exactly the way Gramps did things up until the day he died. (I’m beginning to think that maybe Liev spent more time here as a kid then he has told me.)

First, he takes care of the horses and cows. Then he feeds the chickens.


For the longest time, I couldn’t figure out why it takes him so long to feed the those chickens. I mean, it’s not like the rooster chases him all over the barnyard.  But then I saw this. Mystery solved.


He talks to them all and gives each one special attention. It’s time consuming, but kind of cute.


He milks the cows and brings the fresh milk to the kitchen. You know, this reminds me to bring up the fact that I never realized how thick milk is straight from the cow like that. I swear, it’s thick like pudding. Well, maybe I’m exaggerating but this is another aspect of farming I’ve had to get used to. It kind of turns my stomach, but it’s the best to bake with!

Anyway, it’s just another thing on the list that Liev says I’ll get used to.


Around this time, I’m starting up in the garden if I can get my butt out of bed. I yawn the entire time but it still feels good to work with the soil and plants. And it’s paying off! After my last harvest, I earned 1,845 simoleons! I might be able to make this garden work out after all because it’s only getting bigger and better!


Later in the morning after Liev has gone to work and I’m taking a tea break, it’s time for Mango to head out. There’s no word on his promotion yet but I know they’re really hoping for it. I want to hope he gets it because that’s what they want, but the more I think about it, the more insecure I feel about Keniesha moving out.

Back to Mango. He’s such a goofball. And I say that with a smile on my face. Keniesha is looking really good even though all she ever talks about is how “huge” she’s gotten. She’s antsy to get back to the force as she wants to move up her own career ladder and she’s concerned she’ll never fit in her uniform again.

At one point, I dared to casually mention to her that perhaps they shouldn’t move out so quickly because I’m like a built in babysitter. I think the way I said it must have been too casual, though, because she didn’t really respond.


Mango didn’t make it out the door this morning, though. Just as he was about to leave, Keniesha grimaced a couple times.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” he asked, full of concern.

She was so calm. Calmer than I would be. All she said was, “You’d better get the car.”

Puzzlement filled his face before she grimaced again and put her hand on her swollen stomach. I guess that’s when realization dawned because that’s when he completely lost his mind. Even Biscuit thought he was crazy!


Still calmer than I would be, she repeated with more emphasis, “Get. The. Car.”

“Oh, yeah, okay.” He then bumbled his way outside.


Keniesha and I went out front to wait for Mango to pull the car around. She reassured me several times that she was okay, she just had a feeling she needed to get to the hospital in a timely manner because her pains were coming quicker now.

So, we stood there waiting. And waiting.

Not surprisingly, it wasn’t long before she lost her mind, too.

She yelled, “Where is the car? GET – ” (and with each word, her voice got louder and higher pitched).


” – THE – ”


” – CAR – ”


” – FOOL!”


Her demeanor was completely calm again, but her voice was as shrill as could be! Mango acted like he had never seen a car in his life.

Car? What car?


Keniesha was done. In true form, she marched to the garage and pushed him into the passenger’s seat. She got behind the wheel and took off, leaving me behind.

Good gravy! She left me behind! Liev had the other car at work. It took a few minutes, but I finally got a cab to take me to the hospital.


Frantically, I ran up to the front entrance of the hospital feeling winded and kind of nauseated. Mango was standing at the door looking seriously excited.

“Where’s Keniesha?” I panted.

Keniesha? Keniesha who? If only you’d seen his blank expression.


“I’m right here,” she snapped as she strolled past me to the door. With every determined step, she was grumbling and I knew better than to answer her. “Fool couldn’t even drive – couldn’t even park the car! I let his ass off at the front door and parked it myself! Damn fool!”

She said a few other choice things that I’ve decided shouldn’t be in print. But you get the gist of it, I think.


Finally, she reached the front door and gave Mango a withering look.


I was beside myself. This wasn’t going at all how I imagined. When the time came, I pictured her turning to Mango and sweetly saying, “Honey, it’s time.” He would then gently help her to the car. They would kiss and he’d take her to the hospital, holding her hand all the way there.

And I wouldn’t have been left behind, either.

“What’s wrong now?” I dared to ask.


“I just realized something I didn’t think of before.”

“What?” Would I have to run all the way home and bring in something she’d forgotten? I didn’t want to do that. What if I missed the birth?

Shooting Mango another glare, she answered, “There is no good way to have a baby.”


Several hours later, I found out the hard way she was totally right. Oh was she right! Holy crap, I hope I never see anything like that again. I could have gone my whole life and been perfectly fine not knowing what I know now!

And no good way to have a baby? Try two! That’s right, Keniesha and Mango are now the proud, if not already frazzled, parents of twin girls. We are going to have our hands full, I can tell. Maybe I’d been hasty in offering my free babysitting services because all those kids did since they arrived is wail.

As soon as was possible, I fled that hideous place. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Holding my stomach I managed to follow Mango part way to the car. He was going to the car to grab a couple things from the backseat and I was going to drive it home and then pick them both up tomorrow when Keniesha and the girls were released.


But I really only made it to the curb. Still clutching my stomach, I bent at the waist and hurled all over the sidewalk. Let me tell you, I haven’t vomited in public since the third grade when I told Mrs. Gunderson I didn’t feel good and she wouldn’t excuse me to the bathroom because math was more important. She found out soon enough, though, that I wasn’t just trying to skip math. I ended up puking all over her shoes.

Then I freaking threw up again.


Mango didn’t turn around but he asked, “Are you okay?” I could see his shoulders moving like he was gagging. I reckon he’d had enough of this kind of thing. Hopefully, the girls aren’t pukers.

“Yeah, I just think the whole ordeal really got to me.”

And that was the truth. It’s not every day you see your sister bite her husband during a contraction, the birthing of twins… or experience the smells of the hospital. I guess odors have really been bothering me lately. I may have mentioned this once or twice.


I reckon it was all worth it, though. Keniesha and Mango sure thinks so.


I’m proud to say that I’m now the aunt of Tia Rose (my mother’s namesake) and Grace Marie (my namesake) Mango.



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