Dear diary, my legs shook like Jello when Mom, my grandparents, and I got to the funeral home, so I had to sit down right away. I didn’t want to be involved in whatever it took to make funeral plans, anyway. I didn’t even want to know what all that entailed.
So, there I sat, alone on a lumpy couch that looked like a leftover from the last century.
It couldn’t be true. Could it? How could this be real?
When I learned about my dad’s accident two days ago, I was just finished with my piano lesson. Mom lingered in the doorway to the living room after showing my teacher out. Her hand was over her heart, her jaw hanging slack.
“What is it?” I’d asked. It was several uncomfortable minutes before she finally looked at me, her lips trembling, tears coming to her eyes.
The longer this went on, the more dread filled my heart. I’d never seen her in a state like this. I wanted to shake her yet I didn’t really want to know what the matter was. I was afraid maybe one of my grandparents had died.
“Your father…” was all she said before her voice trailed away and she broke down into tears.
My father? She never completed that sentence. Terror clutched my soul. The only thing I could think to do was call my grandma. Thankfully, she could hear how upset I was, and she demanded to speak to my mom.
Mom took a deep breath as I held the phone out to her, my entire arm shaking. As my grandma spoke to her, she started calming down a little. And that’s when I heard the awful news.
“Kai… he’s dead. Motorcycle accident.”
Mom didn’t even tell me. I had to find out that way instead. I’m sure if I hadn’t been totally shocked and devastated, I would have been pissed about that.
Holding in a shaky breath, I glanced at them now. They were looking at caskets.
For my dad.
Oh my God, my dad is gone forever.
It was like my brain still couldn’t understand what that meant. I kept repeating that, but it didn’t make any sense.
How could my father be put in one of those?
How? my mind screamed.
How could they even think about putting him in the ground?
This wasn’t happening. I couldn’t happen!
“Yes, okay,” I heard Mom mumble as they made choices about this and that.
How could they do this to my dad?
My grandparents had called a priest. I didn’t remember my mom being religious at all, but maybe he could comfort her. He wasn’t doing much for me. I was in a silent hell, trying not to be a burden to my mother, but also feeling like my guts were being wrenched from my body over and over again.
His words of “comfort” were loud enough for me to hear, yet I did not grasp them. People were speaking all around me and I couldn’t understand them.
I’m not sure how I got through the next few days until Saturday, when the funeral was. Sophie looked to me for answers because Mom had shut down. I didn’t have any, though.
Mom, Sophie, and I traveled to Grandma and Grandpa’s house. They were going to put Dad in the family cemetery. The funeral was in Grandma and Grandpa’s cathedral.
On any other day, I might have marveled at the architecture or beautiful windows. Of course, that didn’t cross my mind now. All I saw was the closed casket up front. I didn’t want to believe my father was in there. Another sob squeezed out from my tight chest when I thought about how cold he must be.
Oh, Daddy, I thought, how can you be in there? Please come back.
Please!
The priest began speaking. I don’t remember what he said. His words were like fireflies I wasn’t able to catch. They just flitted away.
There were songs, prayers, more speaking.
I clasped my hands in my lap until my knuckles turned white. It was difficult to breathe.
My own prayer, the one I chanted in my head since this nightmare began…
Please, please, Daddy. Don’t be gone. This isn’t real. It isn’t real.
I glanced across the aisle at Sophie. She sat statue still, her eyes damp, biting her bottom lip. We weren’t allowed to sit together.
Grandma directed the traffic that day, telling everyone where to go and what was expected of them. She gave me instructions, I think. For the life of me, I don’t know what they were.
People talked all around me, but I didn’t hear them.
Only the prayer in my head.
This isn’t real. It isn’t real.
Everywhere I looked that day, I saw him. Instead of paying attention to the service, I watched him out the window, looking at me. My mind cried out to him. He did not speak, but I could feel him. He didn’t want me to be sad or worry.
This was all a bad dream.
Mom greeted everyone as we stood up front, and people paid their respects. She thanked them for coming and told them Dad would appreciate that.
He can’t be gone. I won’t allow it!
At the cemetery, I held Sophie’s hand tightly as Vincent and some other men carried my dad’s casket into the little building there. I tried to reassure my little sister, but I knew it was in vain. She looked just as numb as I felt.
Grandma talked to Mom for a long time. I would find out later what that was all about.
“What are they talking about, I wonder?” Wes said as he approached me.
I grabbed onto him, finally, a familiar face, and someone who wouldn’t mind me hugging him.
“Oh, Wes! I can’t believe this is happening!”
My tears soaked his jacket but he didn’t complain.
“I’m so sorry,” Wes said, his eyes rimmed red from crying. “I loved Uncle Kai, and I can’t believe this either.”
“How could this happen?” I swiped at my eyes and nose with the back of my hand.
He shook his head. “I don’t know. I guess it’s a stupid question, but are you okay?”
People had been asking me that all day until I barely noticed my canned response of, “Yes.” When Wes, my best friend asked me, the dam broke and I was flooding his jacket with tears again. “How can I ever be okay again? My dad is dead,” I croaked through the lump in my throat.
He held me the entire time I sobbed until, finally, I pulled away, wiping my eyes once again.
“I’m so pissed,” I said, not fully understanding where the words were coming from. “My mom didn’t even tell me it happened. I overheard her talking to Grandma about it. That’s how I found out my dad was never coming home again!” My voice got louder, and I didn’t care who heard me. “How could he just die like that? How could he leave us? And, and Mom, she just walks around emotionless! It isn’t right.”
Wes tried to hold me again, but I pulled away, angry at the tears forming in my eyes. Turning my head, I saw Mom and Grandma, who had paused to watch me. I wanted them to talk to me, to just say something. But they didn’t. Instead, they moved further away, their heads together as they spoke. The anger in my chest rose until my pulse was racing, my heart thumping against my ribs.
Then, I saw Wes’s face, the flame in his cheeks, the way he opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
So I stared at the ground, not knowing what to say or how to act.
After a moment, he asked, “Do you think you’ll move back?”
The thought hadn’t crossed my mind, but the idea sounded good. It would mean a lot to be near Wes again. We weren’t really cousins, but we’d grown up close since our dads were best friends.
“I don’t know, but I’d like that.”
Maybe when my mom felt a little better, I could ask her.
Glancing around, I saw my sister standing with Shona. Neither of them were talking, and they both looked shocked and worried.
When Sophie’s eyes met mine, the tears streamed again. She saw me crying, and it wasn’t long before her lower lip was shaking and she was crying, too. I had to stop this, for her sake.
Glancing again at my mother, it was clear she’d seen Sophie crying. But she turned away.
“I have to take care of my sister,” I mumbled. Wes followed me to them.
As soon as I reached her, I held her in my arms, drying her tears with the tissue wadded up in her small fist. I whispered things in her ear about how everything would be okay, we would be okay.
“I’m so sorry, Geeg,” Uncle Vincent said as he joined us. “I promised your dad a long time ago that if anything ever happened to him, I’d make sure you and Sophie were all right. If you ever need anything, you can call me.”
I nodded, wishing this day was over.
We stayed at Grandma and Grandpa’s for the next few days. Sophie and I tried to stay quiet so we wouldn’t be a burden on my mother. We played games of checkers because that was the only game my grandparents had.
If Sophie hadn’t needed me, I might have crumbled into the ball I wanted to become. Instead, it was my job to keep Sophie going. We found we couldn’t count on Mom as she wasn’t even trying. We would try to talk to her and she would just look at us with tear-filled eyes.
After a few days, Mom and Grandma said they wanted to talk to us. Although my heart was still twisted and torn, I thought I would ask Mom if we could move back home.
I didn’t have the chance.
“Girls, your mother and I have discussed things, and she has decided the best thing to do is to send you to Golden Oak School for Girls. It’s the best boarding school in the country.”
I’m sure my eyes couldn’t have been any larger as I stared at Grandma. What was happening here?
“Mom, no, please, you can’t,” I said, my voice rising in pitch, fresh tears running down my cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” was all she said.
“You’re sorry? How can you do this to Sophie and me?” I yelled. I didn’t think I had it in me, but the very thought of not only leaving my mother, but the house we’d all shared as a family, broke me free from the fog I’d been existing in. “You’re so unfeeling! Don’t you care what this is doing to us? You never even told me yourself Dad is dead!” I pointed at my grandmother. “Instead I had to overhear it from her! Well, I won’t go!”
Mom said nothing. She stood there staring at me with empty eyes, like she wasn’t even seeing me at all. I wanted to shake her! I wanted to make her realize she couldn’t do this to us!
Grandma stepped in again, her body between my mother and me. “It’s for the best, girls. It’s going to take some time for your mother to deal with all that has happened, and you will thank her for this later.”
“I won’t!” I promised her, but there was no use arguing. Taking Sophie’s hand in mine, I squeezed it gently.
Once again, I found myself in a situation I could not believe. Not only had I lost my father, but now I was losing my mother, too.
Thank you so much for reading, liking, lurking, and commenting! I hope you enjoyed today’s chapter!
See you Wednesday for another episode of Meet the Neighbors, then Saturday at 10am (EST) for the next chapter of Noble Doubt!
Ohhh, this gets worse and worse by the minute. 🙁 Such pain and turmoil, and nobody is communicating with each other. That is not a good sign. Oh, tis is such a sad, sorrowful situation. 🙁
Not a good move, Jade, not at all! Sending them away is the worst possible thing you can do. You all need each other, and you’re going to find this out in such a hard, costly way if you let them go. I can certainly understand Gigi’s anger and resentment toward Jade. And again, what’s up wit hKara? Is she now trying to control Jade or even punish her for being the reason they moved, which is what ultimately took Kai away? Jade, honey, where is your backbone?
I do have empathy, I do, but she’s obviously not thinking clearly. Tyrone knows what she’s going through, as you know. But he realizes he needs his kids as much as they need him, and that is helping him to go on. I think had he sent them to live elsewhere, even temporarily and even with another family member, he’d have gone completely over the edge. I’m afraid that will happen to Jade if she lets Kara control everything and allows her to send the girls away.
Kara is horrible. She’s doing it again. Can’t manage the children who are misbehaving or are hurt? Send them away to boarding school, what a great option. You know what, I kind of see the resemblance to my worst heir, Gemma, here (although you have to give it to her, she did actually stop Hailey from going, but that was bad then too). I feel sorry for Jade, but more sorry for the children. I can’t believe they’d think it’s best to send them away when they need closure especially now.
I know what you mean. You would think Kara of all people would know what that feels like, but now she’s doing the same thing she did with Kai. I’m glad you brought that comparison up. I feel sorry for the children, too, and I hope it’s not too late now for a relationship with Jade.
Oh wow. I didn’t see that coming. Having lost my dad when I was 21, I can’t even imagine trying to handle that as a kid… and then to be sent off to boarding school. Yikes. Those poor girls.
Thank you, Nya. I’m so sorry for your loss. Hopefully, the girls will be stronger for this, although, it seems pretty bleak right now.
Oh, no! I didn’t see this coming at all. Poor Geeg and Sophie. Life isn’t fair 🙁
Thank you so much, Jacquie. Life sure isn’t fair, that’s true.
OHH : (
Yeah. 😭😭😭
Thank you for sharing!… perhaps this may be help in in a sad way for the girls as the truth has come out and the girls will get the love and support needed to find a better life…. “I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together”… (Marilyn Monroe)… 🙂
Until we meet again..
May your day be touched
by a bit of Irish luck,
Brightened by a song
in your heart,
And warmed by the smiles
of people you love.
(Irish Saying)
Thank you so much, Dutchil. I love the quote by Marilyn Monroe. And also the Irish saying. They are words that can comfort in a time like this.
Another well-written chapter that drops emotional bombs left and right. I knew some of this because of FB posts (and comments by a certain person) so was more prepared upfront. While I can only imagine the loss and way Jade feels, her shipping the girls off to boarding school when they need her most is a stupid move. Both Kara and Jade aren’t handling this right and these ripples aren’t going to make nice little waves. Poor Geeg and Sophie. I can’t imagine how things will go from here on. I am curious to know if the fatal-attraction person had anything to do with this accident and if so, am hoping it gets found out and her butt tossed in jail pronto!
Thank you, Addy. I’m sorry there were spoilers on FB. I agree that Jade is making a wrong move with the girls. We’re going to follow the girls a little bit and see what is happening with them. I might also pop in on Jade or Kara. As far as Mrs. Hill, you are right to want to know if she had anything to do with this and how (if it’s true) it will all come to fruition.
This is so sad.. Now the girls are all alone. There’s so much numbness and anger and pain and sadness in Geegees words. She’s trying to understand it all and the blame is slowly shifting to mom. Poor girl. Aaaaaah this chapter is so painful to read 😭
Thank you so much. It sure seems like the girls are all alone and they will have to depend on each other. You describe Geeg’s world perfectly. 😭😭
Jade seems to be completely out of it. She probably blames herself.
I agree that sending the girls away is a terrible idea.
Thank you, Violincat. You’re right about Jade. She definitely doesn’t have it together right now. Still, sending the girls away is probably not the right thing to do.
It is always too soon
Thank you, Michael. You are so right about that.
This was rough to get through. I guess Kara was probably numb too. I bet Jade told her she couldn’t care for the kids and Kara clearly didn’t want to take them either so boarding school it is. Poor things. It’s like they lost their entire family in one fell swoop. It’s horrible to lose a parent to death, but the rest of the family clearly not wanting them has to be even worse. Gigi is going to have to grow up too fast to care for Sophie. I wonder if they’ll ever figure out what happened. Not that it matters at this point. Sigh.
Thank you, Audrey. There is a truth to get to with this accident. We’ll see as we go along.
You’re right that Kara was numb, too. Kai was her only child. She spent much of her life as a pre-teen in a facility. But boarding school is not the same thing she got. You’re right that Gigi is going to have to grow up fast. She is developing into a kind of character I’ve never written before. Hopefully, it will be fun.
That’s a good idea about Jade telling Kara she couldn’t deal with the children at the moment. You might be right about that.
How devastating for those girls!!! Double losses! And if I were the grandparent, I’d be taking those kids in right quick! What’s with these people?
Thank you, Jo, that is a good question. I would do the same. Somehow, they mistakingly figured this would be best. Personally, if the family is like this, I think they should live with Vincent and his family.
Riiight? Why do they have to go somewhere like that? You know some families are like that. My mother in law is like that. Neither she nor my husband would acknowledge my kids as part of their family and it has always been a thorn in my side. My kids really liked her too. My husband is better now that they’re gone, but he wasn’t when they were living with us and I’ve always held it against him and them. My ex husband’s son still thinks of me as his mom and I get adopted all the time by kids. Kids need to know they are loved and wanted and not just accessories or future breadwinners.
That sounds like an absolutely horrific situation to live in. I can see why you have resentments. I think you’re right in that this decision to send the girls to a boarding school is disastrous for them.
I’m shocked he died. It’s going to be so rough on these girls. Too bad they can’t live with their grandparents.
Thank you, Cathy. You’re right that it’s going to be rough on the girls. I almost think they would do best living with Vincent’s family, but that is not an option.
Wow. This keep getting worse and worse (I mean better and better ofc, hehe). This family is failing the girls completely. Why the grandparents couldn’t take them for a while, until Jade pulls herself together? I’m not complaining, ofc, because I can’t wait to read what comes out of this mess, but I’m just mad at the adults in this family right now.
I wonder why Jade has always been so distant. Is it a mental condition or something else? Can’t say I’m too surprised, though. Kai seemed to be the only parent who had a real bond with the girls. I see major trust issues in Gigi’s future.
Thank you, maladi. I’m glad you think it’s better and better. 🙂 I agree about how the girls are being failed by the family. The adults are being rather heartless, although Kara really does believe she is helping by suggesting the girls go to this boarding school.
That’s a good question about Jade and why she is so distant? She is so career driven, yet other mothers are, too, and they are not neglectful of their children.
I think you’re right about Gigi having trust issues in the future.
I’ve got to agree with the other comments – this is heartbreaking!! I can’t believe it, after everything, just one motorcycle accident and he’s gone. It’s reflective of real life and that’s why I hate it. But you’ve written it beautifully, Kymber. This poor, poor family. I’m assuming there’s no mistaken identity or that he’s gone into hiding because people were looking into the casket (otherwise I’d totally be expecting him in a few episode’s time to turn up out of the blue!) It seems extra cruel for the girls and now this Girls School suggestion. Mum is not going to be in the good books.
PS. I actually really like the look of that rich red damask couch. Wouldn’t say no to that in our living room! 😂 xx
Thank you, Caz. Thank you for your compliment. It means a lot. Life is like this, unfortunately.
You’re right about Jade, and how she will probably be hated by the girls for this.
I like that red couch, too!! I live in an old Victorian, and it would be perfect here. 😀
You’re on probation. AGAIN.
Uh oh! Somehow, I thought I might be after this. 😂
There are 10 more chapters, based on past generations, to go I got a feeling there’s a shoe waiting to drop. Of course I could be wrong. Will await next weeks chapter, and no matter what will continue to enjoy the families story line. 🙂
Thank you, mama dragon. I’ve never done this before; killing a character before the end of his 30 chapters, you are right about that. I’m so happy you are here for the long haul to see what happens.
I barely wanted to give you the like, you evil, evil woman. How could you do this. 😭 And those poor, poor girls. It seems Jade has just completely lost the will to fight.
My take on this is that you were gone so long and didn’t have a chance to scar us, so you wanted to traumatise us in a big way. The audacity! 😤
Thank you, Louise. I know, the “like” doesn’t seem right somehow. lol But thank you for it anyway.
I don’t disagree that I’m a little bit evil here. 😭😭😭 That audacity is right! lol
I feel so bad for Sophie being so young, but I guess if you think about it, the girls have probably known their father for the same amount of time, since Geeg was a child herself when he came into their lives. I can not believe Jade! If this happened to me, I would want to gather my children in my arms and hold them close forever. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, as she hasn’t really been a mom to them for some time now.
Why and when did Kara become so unfeeling? She has over time turned into a cold, bitch. I wouldn’t have thought that was her future when she was as a child. Everything is falling apart and the kids damaged emotional development will be the downfall of all this. Kai must be rolling in his grave screaming!
Thank you, Bee. I feel bad for Sophie, too, but you’re right about them knowing their dad for about the same amount of time.
Jade was killing me, but really, she’s been a distant parent, and I think she’s grieving so much, she hasn’t thought about the children. She’s kind of glad Kara has stepped in, I think. Of course, I’m the same as you. The first thing I would do is keep my children near, in my arms
This is Kara’s only child, and I think she feels she is helping Jade and the kids. Of course, she’s wrong to step in like she is and to be so cold.
I agree that Kai would be devastated by all of this.
NOOOOO!!!!!!! Kai’s story can’t be over!!! It can’t!!!! Bring him back, bring him back NOW!!!!!! *curls up and cries*
Thank you, Hilly. I wish I could bring him back. I wish I could give you a big hug. 😭
I’m going back to the beginning. <3 It makes me happy. Lol.
You go, girl. ❤❤