Chapter 8.8 : Dear Diary, in the Interest of a Child

Over the past several weeks, Jade and I were seeing a lot of each other. When she isn’t near me, I’m still thinking about her… and the smoothness of her skin, the smell of flowers in her hair, the tenderness in her smoky voice. I think it’s safe to say I’m in love. Not just in love with Jade, but also with my child, and the realization that having my own family to devote myself to is within grasp.

It’s everything, and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep it.

Where was I? Oh, yeah. Jade and I have gotten closer, spending weekends together, and some weeknights, too. Gigi has warmed up to me even though she doesn’t know who I really am yet. Jade thought it would be better for her to get to know me before we spring anything like that on her.

“Good morning,” Jade said now as she and Gigi got out of their car.

“Hey,” I said with a smile, waving at my daughter who went straight for the vending machines.

“I’ve got some kind of rattling sound.”

I grinned at the woman I love. “In your head?”

She playfully slapped my arm and laughed. “My car, idiot.”

“Well, good thing you’re in love with an amazing mechanic.”

“Mooooommmmmm,” Gigi yelled without turning around to speak to us. “I want a Green Wicked Rage pop!”

Jade rolled her eyes. “You already know that will not happen. Now, get your little self over here and speak to me properly.”

I started to laugh when Gigi stomped her tiny foot against the pavement and whined out with a “plllllleeeeaaaaasssssse!”

When Jade caught my eyes, she was glaring at me, so I managed to hold the rest of that laugh inside. She’s a much better parent than me, but I reckon she’s had more practice.

“It’s that new preschool she goes to. I have half a mind to pull her out. Talking to me that way.”

Jade was still muttering something about how she never talked to her parents that way (LIE!) when I asked, “Why can’t she have one little pop?”

“Seriously, Kai? You’re worse than she is! Do you know how much it costs to keep her teeth in check? Last time we went, she had three cavities!”

“Those are just her baby teeth. They’re gonna fall out, anyway.”

“Kai!”

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just so hard to ignore those big, beautiful eyes of hers.”

“You will have to learn then. She’s playing you.”

I shook my head. “She’s too young and innocent to do something like that.”

Another eye roll, this time but with a tapping foot. I was digging myself in deep. “She could work an entire room before she was two.”

“Really?” I glanced around Jade at my sweet, angelic little girl, bewildered at how that was even possible.

Gigi was still facing the vending machine, sighing loudly, then turning her head toward us to see if her mother was noticing. Our eyes met, and I shrugged. She sighed again, shaking her head as if to say, “You poor, dumb man, I’ll take care of this myself.”

I’d failed her… this time.

“Gigi, now!”

Jade didn’t play. Gigi stomped her way over until Jade gave her what I call the stink-eye. As soon as the kid saw that, she stopped, straightened her back, and quietly joined us.

“Hmm…” I said, “I picked up some gelato yesterday from À La Mode just in case you and your mom were still coming over tonight. But I forgot how much you hate strawberry gelato.”

“No, I looooove strawberry gelato!”

I scrunched my face up good, like I wasn’t sure if I remembered this right. “No, I’m pretty certain it was strawberry gelato you hated so much, your face looked like this.” That’s when I slid my thumbs into my mouth, spreading my lips ridiculously wide.

She laughed, holding her belly.

“You want gelato?”

“Yes, please.”

“All right then, I think I picked up enough for you to have some, too.”

She squealed with delight, which had me grinning until my face hurt.

“Okay, okay, I can see you’re going to spoil this child no matter what I say,” Jade said. “We can walk to my office from here if you don’t mind me leaving the car.”

Jade had started a new job with a different firm. She would drop Gigi off at her preschool on the way.

“Yeah, of course, leave it. I’ll make sure it’s running right for you.”

Jade smiled, kissed me, then whispered in my ear, “We’re still on for tonight, and I think the time is right to tell Gigi.”

I gulped around the lump that suddenly appeared in my throat. “Really?”

“Really.”

“Are we going yet?” Gigi asked, her hands on her hips in a perfect replica of her mother’s favorite stance.

“Yep, let’s go then.”

As I watched my girls walk down the sidewalk toward Jade’s building, my body was weightless. I smiled, thinking I might float up into the sunny blue sky. This was happiness. How was it possible I could be this full of joy? I was almost scared to trust it because it had never happened for me before.

Jade and Gigi rounded the corner and I could no longer see them. Turning back to my shop, I decided then. This wasn’t a common occurrence, so I would enjoy it no matter what. I had no other choice because if it was snatched away from me suddenly, I wanted to remember every second of how it felt.

“How are you eating?” Mom asked as she and Dad came into the shop that afternoon.

It’s all about food with this woman anymore. You would think she was the prize winning cookbook author in the family instead of my dad.

“With my mouth.”

Mom looked like she wanted to slap me, but then, her expression relaxed, and she muttered, “That’s enough of that. You know I’m worried about you.”

“I know, I know,” I said, hugging her tightly.

She felt around my ribs with her hands as we embraced, in an effort to see if my clothes were padded or something.

“Mom, c’mon,” I complained, letting her go.

“I’m sorry. I just never saw you so thin as you were when we brought you home from that awful place. I only want to know you’re all right.”

“Kara,” Dad said, reaching for her hand, grasping her arm instead, which was closer.

“Okay, I’ll stop. I’m not trying to annoy you. Honest.”

“I know. It’s okay. I’m doing great, in fact.”

Both my parents paused. Then Dad said, “You are? What’s going on?”

A smile curled my lips. “We’re telling Gigi who I am tonight. You guys can be the grandparents you want to be. And, I can finally be her father for real.”

Dad managed a smile, but Mom had that worried look clouding her eyes again.

“Are you sure she’s ready?”

“Well, when would she be? I mean, she’s never been told this before,” I said, my eyebrow raised.

“Do you want us to be there when you tell her?” Mom asked.

“I think you’re more nervous than I am. Don’t worry, Jade and I have this covered.”

Mom looked like she might cry. I didn’t know what to do.

“Mom, Dad, listen. I’d love for you both to be there. And, uh, thank you for offering. It means a lot that you want to. It’s just that I think this should be done between me, Jade, and Gigi. I’m sorry.”

My mom wiped a tear from her eye and drew in a deep breath.

“He’s right, Kara. This should be between them,” my dad said.

“It’s nice knowing whose side you’re on,” Mom said, her voice on edge.

I took a deep breath, too, and wondered if I was just being cruel now. But I didn’t have to think about it for long because my dad’s a genius.

“I know!” he said with a smile. “Check with Jade and see if you guys can come to our house for dinner tomorrow night. I’ll make something special, and we can finally visit with each other as a family.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” I looked at my mom.

At last she smiled, although it was a small one.

“I’d like that,” she said.

Evening was finally here, and so was my little family. We ate dinner, and much to Jade’s dismay, Gigi had two helpings of strawberry gelato. I was beaming the entire time.

After the three of us did the dishes, we moved to the living room. I’d put together a nice comfy area for Gigi to sit while we talked to her, but when we told her about the impending discussion, she refused, deciding she wanted to be right in front of us.

As I sat there next to Jade, it was like my knee had a mind of its own, bouncing like crazy. All at once, my mouth was dry as a desert, and butterflies fluttered in my stomach.

Gigi glanced from one of us to the other, her eyes large.

Suddenly, she said, “Are you getting married?”

I coughed while Jade gasped, then giggled.

“Uh, we haven’t talked about getting married,” Jade said, her words measured carefully.

Gigi’s eyes fell, and she let out a sigh.

My pulse quickened, and my palms were sweaty. Shifting my weight where I sat, I wiped them on my work pants. After a moment, I peeked at Jade before turning my attention back to my daughter. “Uh, what we wanted to talk to you about-what we want you to know-” I stopped talking, realizing I didn’t even know what to say.

Jade cleared her throat, then dove in. “Honey, remember when you asked me about your daddy?”

Gigi nodded. “Yes.”

“And I told you one day you would meet him.” She paused, taking both of Gigi’s hands in hers. “Sweetie, what I want to tell you is that Kai… he’s your daddy.”

Her eyes filled with tears, and her hands flew to her mouth. “Really?”

Jade gave her a soft smile. “Yes, baby. Are you okay?”

Gigi didn’t answer verbally, but instead she flew into my arms, squeezing me tight. Her tears got my shirt wet, but I didn’t care. I was holding my girl, and she knew who I was.

Tears flowed down my face, too, as I held on tight.

When I could finally find my voice again, I said, “I love you, Gigi, with all my heart. And I’m so glad I’m your dad. I’ll never leave you.”

She sobbed again, and choked out, “I love you, Daddy.”

Those words tore at my heart, breaking down every barrier I ever had, and rebuilding it with a fierce sense of devotion I’d never experienced before. I knew I would die for this child if I had to.

Later, while Gigi was finally settled into the comfy place I’d made for her on the couch, watching TV, I slipped my arms around Jade. She caressed my face with her hand, our mouths almost touching.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” she asked.

“For making my life complete.”

Her eyes glistened as she peered at me. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” I am not sure how it happened except that the words just fell out of my mouth. “Marry me.”

She sucked in a quick breath, but then she kissed me, and said, “I will.”

Very special thanks to Bee (Poses by Bee) for the poses I used from her site: Emotions – Adult and Conversation Poses. Other poses used are from Are You Sick, Kiddo? and Romantic Couple Pose Pack.

I may be a little late responding to comments today because I’m finally leaving the house. But I can’t wait to read what you think! I hope you are all safe and well.

And thank you, Gentle Readers, for reading, liking, commenting, and lurking. You are awesome!