ND: Generation 8 - Noble Doubt

Chapter 8.2: Dear Diary, No Revenge so Complete

I heard his jaw break before the sickening pop of bone separating registered with my fist and brain. My frame hadn’t yet completed the motion of the swing when his body hit the steel-grated floor with a dull thud. When his head hit, it sounded like a watermelon thrown against pavement. Blood seeped around him like a red halo.

I stood frozen, the contents of my stomach threatening to come up as he lay motionless…

“Kai! Are you with me?” It was Jade’s voice.

I stared at her, yet didn’t see her. “Huh?”

“You need to start from the beginning,” she said.

My head was empty of clear thought. I heard her voice, but the words made no sense, so I continued my dumb gaze.

For a long moment, she covered her mouth with trembling hands, taking deep breaths. Then she tried again.

“Okay, Kai, listen to me. Think about today, this morning. Tell me about it.”

My mouth opened as if to answer her, but remembering anything at all proved difficult. I tried to shake the clouds away, my comprehension like birds’ wings, fluttering by, just out of reach, and out of my grasp.

Jade’s eyes were wider than normal. She began pleading with me, her voice so full of urgency, it shook something loose from my brain.

“You need to pull it together and tell me what happened. Please. Just start with this morning. What did you do after you got up?”

This morning seemed so long ago, but having that to concentrate on helped.

“I… took a shower and came to the station. I was working on a car in the front stall.”

She nodded hard, her eyes still like saucers. “Yes, then what? Try to remember.”

“You came by,” I finally said, letting out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding in. “I was happy to see you.”

“That’s good… What did we talk about?” she asked, her tone pressing me on.

“We-we talked about your work as a lawyer and how you’re helping our old neighborhood. Kids, you help kids in trouble. I was so full of pride for you. You are doing such great things with your life, just like you said you would.”

She nodded again, and there were tears in her eyes. I could tell she was doing her best to hold back some emotion that was overwhelming her.

“Yes,” she said, “and we talked about your dream of owning a station, and how you accomplished that.”

The station… we’re at the station… darkness ebbed at the corners of my eyes, giving me tunnel vision while my stomach roiled again…

“Kai!”

Jade’s voice invaded my aching skull like a knife, cutting the tunnel vision away with a sharpness that took my breath away.

“I keep losing you, stay with me. What else happened?” she asked.

If I hadn’t been in such bad shape, I might not have been so honest with her. At the time, though, I had very little control over myself.

“I hugged you so tight. I’ve missed you like you can’t believe. And I’m so proud of you. Your hair still smells like roses.”

A tiny smile curled the corners of her mouth, yet it was tears she wiped away with her fingers. She took a deep breath and urged me forward.

“I’ve missed you, too,” she whispered. Then louder, she said, “We talked some more, do you remember?”

I didn’t remember. Instead, I was caught up in the memory’s moment. “You felt so good in my arms, Jade. I don’t know how I ever let you get away.”

She gasped a little and looked away from me. “We definitely had something. That’s in the past now, though.”

Everything about me was fragile in that moment. Her words broke my heart.

She moved toward me, and said a little louder, “What happened then?”

What happened then?

He was not moving. I called his name, my voice cracking, but there was no response. Kneeling next to him, I stared, waiting for any sign of life. With an unsteady hand, I reached out to check his pulse. I never thought taking a CPR class would come in handy. For the longest time, my fingers hovered above his carotid artery. I didn’t want to touch him…

“What did you do after I left?” Jade asked, bringing me back again.

It took several minutes for the rest to come into view.

“I went to Black and White to pick Ronnie up for lunch.”

“Okay, good. You look a little better, keep talking.”

“I was late.”

A half hour late, to be exact. Ronnie was angry with me, and my guilt at having been with Jade only moments before, having strong feelings for her, devastated me.

My relationship with Ronnie was complicated. We were two people afraid of being alone, and we’d been through a lot together. She could never know how I felt about Jade, it would break her, and I couldn’t do that to her.

“I can’t leave now, there’s too much going on,” she’d said, her blue eyes cold and hard. “If you’d been on time, it would have worked out.”

“I’m sorry, Ronnie.”

I could barely meet her eyes because all I could really think about was how good it was to hold Jade again. What kind of person am I?

The kind of person who does unthinkable things. There is nothing redeeming about me. Especially now.

When he came into the station, I didn’t recognize him.

“I’m closing,” I told him.

“I need some parts for a 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle SS 454,” he said. “Hey, wait! Kai?”

It wasn’t until he said my name that I identified him. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“What happened next, Kai? Where did you go to lunch?”

It was then I realized I hadn’t been speaking aloud about my encounter with Ronnie. What was happening to me?

“I said, what are you doing here?”

The smirk on his face was too much. “I came for car parts, but look who I ran into.”

Long ago, Frank Cooper was the thing of nightmares. Now, he was an old man with hunched shoulders. But that damn smug look was the same as ever.

“Where are the tapes, Frank?”

“Is that how you talk to me after everything I’ve done for you?”

“Done for me?” I yelled. “You’re a dirty pedophile! What you did is horrible, and I should have told as soon as I found out!”

“But you didn’t,” he sneered. “And who are you calling names, boy? Look at you, big business owner! I made you what you are! You should be thanking me!”

“Kai, keep going, I can’t lose you now,” Jade said, bringing me back for the umpteenth time.

My stomach was in knots, and my head throbbing.

“W-we didn’t go to lunch. I was late, and she couldn’t get away. We had an audience, so we didn’t talk long.”

Jade was talking again. I pressed my palm to my temple, hoping that would quell the pounding.

Was it my head pounding, or was it my pulse that was deafening?

With him right in front of me, the past confronted me like a punch to the face. I was only a teenager when I started working for Frank Cooper. I thought he was the best guy in the entire world, and I wanted to be just like him. Then, one day, my perception of him was shattered when I found out he’d made secret recordings of me and Jade being intimate. I looked everywhere for the tapes, but never found them. And I never told my parents because he said he would show them everything.

If I’d been wiser, if I’d had a better relationship with my parents, I probably would have told them. But I didn’t. I was set on revenge, only to decide later it wasn’t worth it after a teacher introduced me to a quote by Josh Billings.

“There is no revenge so sweet as forgiveness.”

It might sound hokey that a quote changed me, and it didn’t. Not by itself. I had a lot of counseling, and time to think at my boarding school. I read a lot of books about what other people did with anger and their feelings of revenge. And I read about healing old wounds.

But he was here now. In the flesh. And all my good intentions went out the window as if they’d never existed.

“I’m so proud to be the inspiration behind your good life! Look at you!” Frank said, waving his arms about.

The goading continued. I demanded to know where the tapes were over and over again. But he just laughed like it was all a joke.

“Kai,” Jade said again, and I was back with her, in the present at the station. I couldn’t tell her why this happened because she knew nothing about it.

Frank’s lifeless body was on the floor, and I was responsible.

My vision was slipping again, and I thought I might fall to the floor next to him.

Jade grabbed a hold of my arms to steady me, only now I couldn’t look at her.

Because I was a murderer.

Special thanks to Bee (Poses by Bee) who made the fight/death poses. She did a terrific job, and made more than I showed. Also, I forgot I used a height slider on Kai, so I generally messed things up. But, the poses were perfect! Thank you so much, Bee!

And thank you, gentle readers, for reading, liking, lurking, and commenting. I appreciate you.


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I am a simmer, Rennie garb wearer, author, and dog petter. Judy Garland is my queen, horror movies & classic movies are my jam. A little bit eccentric, owned by cats. 🐱🐱🐱

44 Comments on “Chapter 8.2: Dear Diary, No Revenge so Complete

  1. The way you wrote this chapter was very clever, with Kai reminiscing what happened. But oh boy… He’s in big trouble now.

  2. Oh dang! I knew we hadn’t seen the last of Frank Cooper. Kai got his wish to kill him, but he’ll learn the hard way that it wasn’t worth it. This isn’t good, not good at all! Maybe now the whole truth will come out though, but I think Kai will have to take his medicine. 😩 He still has a thing for Jade, it’s clear, and she still cares about him. Ronnie will soon be history, I’m sure, because she’s not built to stick with him over something like this. Also, they really didn’t have a healthy relationship to begin with.

  3. I love the way this chapter is written. It gives it some suspense and mystery.

    This is crazy. I just hope the truth about Frank will finally come out. At least everyone would know why he did it.

    1. Thank you, Heather. I’m so glad you like the way the chapter is written. I had so much fun with this.

      Crazy is right! And, I agree. That’s a good point.

  4. Finally I’m here – late to the party. Sorry for that!
    This is definitely not what I expected, but I don’t really blame Kai for losing his cool in a situation like that. It was a creepy, disgusting thing he did. Essentially sexual abuse. That wasn’t the way to handle it, but I still don’t feel any sympathy for Frank.
    I, too, am curious as to what Jade’s role here is. Is she representing Kai or something? Can’t wait for more – it was a great chapter! 😄

    1. Thank you, Louise. I’m tickled you’re here. Better late than never, right? 😀 I think of what Frank did as sexual abuse, too. I’m sure Kai now regrets in a big way that he never told anyone what Frank did. That’s a good question about Jade’s role in the matter. We’ll soon find out! I’m so glad you enjoyed it, that means a lot.

  5. Oh wow. This generation is starting off with a bang (or should I say punch). Frank was a creep, and I don’t feel bad that he is gone. I just hope all of the evidence isn’t gone. In what capacity was he talking to Jade there; as a friend or as his lawyer?
    And your pictures were styled great, they certainly capture the emotion of the chapter. I love the effect of seeing Frank’s dead body, it looks unreal just like how Kia would be feeling.

    1. Thank you so much 🙂 This generation is not starting out slow. LOL 😀 That’s a good question about Jade and how she was questioning him. You’ll find out in the next chapter. 😀 I’m so glad you caught the feeling of the pictures, and liked them. That means a lot.

  6. Well then!! Again this was not what I expected to read today! I need popcorn warnings or something LOL. Wow! So, Jade is going to represent him, or did he call her for help? I know writing taboo things scares the crap out of you, but I soooooo appreciate your willingness to push past the fear and do it anyway. And, you handle them so delicately yet give them the respect required to make it real enough to believe. You go girl!

    1. Thank you, Jess! Yes! You know me so well! hahaha Thank you for your encouragement regarding pushing past the fear. 😀 I get so nervous about it. lol You’ll find out in the next chapter how Jade happened to be there. Good thing she’s a lawyer, huh? 😀 😀

    1. I knew what you meant. I wish WP let us edit our own comments because there are so many times I wish I could edit mine on others’ blogs. lol 😀

  7. Man oh man this was a doozy! I totally didn’t see that coming. I love how you’re telling too. Once again Kai doesn’t seem like he’s going to tell Jade the truth. As for Frank good riddance, I’m just sorry it had to be at Kai’ s expense. The constant smug, goading was driving me mad enough to hit him as well. The only good thing is at least his vulnerability allowed him to be honest about his feelings for Jade.

    1. Thank you so much. I’m so glad you liked this. Kai has avoided telling Jade for a long time, but I think the clock has run out! lol I think now, there is no way around that. She is going to want to know all of it. Yes! He’s finally being honest with himself about Jade. 😀

  8. You’ve done this so, so well. That sense of tension, the fear for Kai, recapping and going back with two-tone images like it’s a darkly tense film. Love it! Ronnie reminds me so much of a famous actress, I just can’t get her name. It’ll come to me some day I’m sure! As for Frank Cooper, I would have strung him up if he weren’t already lifeless on the floor. Amazing instalment, Kymber! xx

    1. Thank you so much, Caz! I’m so glad you liked this. I really wanted to do something different to get the emotions across. As for Frank Cooper, me, too, girl. Me, too! 😀

  9. Ooooh this was a great chapter!!! I love how you alternated between the two scenes. Kai’s relationship with Ronnie makes more sense now, even if it isn’t a good relationship. So glad that Frank Cooper is dead, but the way it happened… I hope Kai doesn’t end up in jail. Maybe having Jade as a lawyer friend will help? Hoping for the best!

    1. Thank you, Raymond! 🙂 I’m so glad you enjoyed how this chapter was set up. I think as we get even further into the story, Ronnie and Kai’s relationship will make even more sense. Frank can’t hurt anyone else now, but you might be right about Kai being in trouble. Hopefully, Jade can help him.

  10. Ohhh, this was intense. In a very good way. I love everything about this chapter. The style it is written, the pictures, the way Kai’s mind goes in circles taking him back to the incident again and again. And then there’s Jade in her lawyer mode trying to put together the timeline, most likely already working on her speech for Kai’s defence in her head.
    This chapter must have been a step out of your comfort zone or was it not? If so, I hope to see you stepping out of it more often, because it is worth it. You got me super excited for more. Waiting for next chapter is going to be sooo long.

    1. Thank you so much, maladi. Your words mean a lot to me because I really wanted the style of this chapter to be something different that would show Kai’s state of mind. I asked myself, “What if I began this chapter with the end?” And that’s what lead me here. lol I will try to do something different more often. It was fun. 🙂

  11. I always thought this would happen, tbh. But that Frank guy was slimy, I don’t even want to know all he was responsible for during his long years.

    1. Thank you so much. Frank was definitely slimy, and something bad was bound to happen. I don’t want to know all the things he did either.

    1. Thank you, Jo! Hmm… is it selective memory? I think he was in shock, but he remembers now, believe me. lol Seems like he’s probably in a lot of trouble now, too.

  12. I like the way you made some of the pictures almost black and white and that picture with his dead body on the floor…

    the way you got the body to merge with the grating made it looked spooky. but very fitting. and a clever way to picture kymber 🙂

    and I did like Bee’s pose were he is taking his pulse. I could done with that pose for the chapter I just posted today. she is so talented 🙂

    1. Thank you, Darren! I have your chapter open in a tab, but haven’t been able to read it yet. 😀 Looking forward to it, though.

      Thank you regarding the pictures. That last one, I wanted it to look shaky like Kai’s vision is going wonky. 😀 I’m so glad you liked how this turned out. I was really looking to do something different and unexpected with this chapter.

      Bee’s poses are amazing! She’s so talented!

    1. Thank you, CT. I was hoping this might be a shocker. lol I’m excited for you to see what’s going to happen. 😀 I love Jade, and think she grew up well, too.

  13. Compelling chapter! I want Kai and Jade to be together because of their history but I know he’s hanging on to Ronnie because… well simply, damage attracts damage. It’s going to be alright for Kai, I know it! He’s strong willed and stubborn haha!

    1. Thank you so much. I like what you said there about damage attracting damage. There is something very deep holding Ronnie and Kai together. I think Kai definitely wants to reconnect with Jade but doesn’t see how that is possible right now. I can’t wait for this story to unfold. I almost forgot to add: YES to the stubborn and strong willed bit. haha

  14. Oh and I’m sorry the fighting poses didn’t work out for you! But the way you took my taking a pulse and turned it into he was scared to touch him worked really well for the story!

    1. Oh, Bee, you know that was my fault. I’m always looking for ways to misuse perfectly good poses. 😂 I’m sure with Kai, I’ll have a chance to use them again. 😀

  15. “I heard his jaw break before the sickening pop of bone separating”

    What an opening line! I hope this doesn’t screw Kai up after he has made such a great turn around in his life! Not his fault, not his fault! That man was pure evil, I mean look how his goaded him like he wanted Kai to hit him. If he hadn’t died, maybe Kai would be under arrest and going to jail for assault. Cause if you think about it, Kai and Frank had their argument and then Kai just disappeared. Frank has probably been living in some fear too that someday he would be arrested and go to jail. So now he has the opportunity to take care of Kai.

    “Jade grabbed a hold of my arms to steady me, only now I couldn’t look at her.

    Because I was a murderer.’

    Powerful, beginning and end! Saturday next week can’t come fast enough now!

    1. Thank you so much, Bee. I can’t tell you how many times I changed that opening line. I wanted it to be a shock. I hope this doesn’t screw Kai up either. Frank has had too much fun at Kai’s expense. Hopefully, his consequences aren’t too harsh but we’ll see. That’s a good point about Frank possibly having lived in some fear thinking he might be arrested any moment. I’m glad you liked the closing lines, too. I really worked on doing something different than the norm with this chapter.

  16. I knew he wouldn’t be gone forever. Well he kinda is now but his ghost is going to be the undoing of Kai. I’m glad Jade is a lawyer. She will be able to help him. She s probably married with kids too which will be a problem. Dang it. I knew things were too good to be true. Kai had tried to heal and was doing well. But I wonder what it is about Ronnie that has the two of them together. What does she have on him or he on her? She is clearly not a very nice person and seems to wants to control Kai even if she doesn’t like him that much.

    Kai’s life just went from okay to awful…..

    1. Thank you, Audrey! You knew Frank had to show up and make life crazy at some point. lol I decided it should happen earlier rather than later. 😀 That’s a neat thought about Frank’s ghost! I think Jade is going to want control over this situation as a lawyer, but I wonder how she’ll feel once she knows why he killed Frank? I like what you said about her being married. You never know. Oh, yeah, and Ronnie and Kai, there is definitely a reason why they are still together even though they don’t seem to get along all that well.

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