Funnies - Short Stories

Do You Like Chickens?

Do you like chickens? I have some chicken stuff to say.

When my children were young, we lived on an 80 acre farm and raised chickens. Most of them were nice, but there was this rooster who my son had named Chanticleer. He was rescued from a farmer who didn’t like him.

Chanticleer did a great job keeping the chickens in order, but he was a little devil when it came to people.

No matter where you were on the farm, he’d protect his chickens by chasing you as far away from them as possible. Even if you weren’t near them.

This one morning, I was out to get the mail. Once retrieved, I headed back to the porch to go inside, but partway up the steps I heard that darn rooster closing in behind me. He was making a croaking kind of rooster noise and his feathers were all puffed out.

I knew I’d never beat him to the door which was just barely within reach, before he attacked. So, I turned to face the little demon.

He kept making that squawking noise, inching closer. I did the only thing I could. I threw my sandal at him and…

… I missed!

He lunged forward and bit part of my toenail off!

I don’t think I’d ever cussed before that moment. My son heard me and renamed Chanticleer.

He called him, “Cuss.”

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I am a simmer, Rennie garb wearer, author, and dog petter. Judy Garland is my queen, horror movies & classic movies are my jam. A little bit eccentric, owned by cats. 🐱🐱🐱

53 Comments on “Do You Like Chickens?

  1. I love chickens! My brother has a few and they’re quite funny indeed. No rooster, though. They used to have a chicken that was very social. She used to get into the house whenever they’d roam the yard. Unfortunately she died a while ago and everybody misses her.

  2. I love chickens 🥰🥰We kept chickens when I lived in Latvia – they have distinct personalities and are fun to watch. Their behaviours, such as dust-bathing and foraging, can be entertaining 🥰🥰

  3. We kept chickens when we lived in the cottage. They were funny cute little things and we had over 1200 eggs in the time we had them. Maggie refused to pee in the garden after one pecked her bum. Our neighbour rescued a rooster from ‘the pot’ as she thought it would be company for her peacock. The damn thing would start crowing at 3am and we voiced a complaint, to which she said that was what to expect when you lived in the country. We were about to complain to the council when it all went quiet and when we saw her we asked what had happened (thinking they’d put it in the pot after all). She told us she’d soon remembered why she never kept a cockerel because of the noise! I couldn’t resist and said that was to be expected living in the country.

    1. LOLOLOL Your story is hilarious!

      I’d never lived on a farm before that one, but I felt the same way. Why did Chanticleer have to start his racket before sunrise? LOL

  4. my son says chicken is king
    to eat
    my mother
    told me my father used
    to kill them for their dinner
    they had a farm before i was born
    and that headless chickens would
    run for quite a long time
    mebbe tmi
    ???????????

  5. That’s a great story! And I love the “chicken tenders” meme. I don’t have anything against chickens. I like the eggs they provide, for sure. I’ve never owned any, but my next door neighbors have some, or at least they used to.

  6. I like chickens a lot. They are funny to me, as they look funny and act funny. My cousin raises those really exotic kind, and I think sells the eggs, which come in all colors, and he makes pets of them with names and all. 🙂

  7. I enjoyed your story. Reminded me of when I had chickens. Our rooster’s name was Oliver and he was the sweetest. We had a goose that would chase the kids and nip them on the butt. The farm was a wonderful place.

      1. I had let them out of the pen and they refused to get back in after about the 3rd time i let them out, and then decided to instead go out and lay down on the highway, i ended up being down 3 hens because of it.. smh.

          1. No wasnt sunning, decided they wanted to sleep on the highway instead of in thier coop cause of the street lights. I was having issues catching them to put them up cause i had twisted my ankle earlier that day

            1. It is what it is i guess. Ita the down side of living next to a very busy road with a chicken breed that isnt all that smart.

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