Short Stories

Is This All I Am?

This post first appeared on Story Spinner June 14, 2017.

woman 4 children cartoon

There was a time when life made no sense. She didn’t know how to proceed or what to do. Doubt clouded her mind and all she wanted to do was cover herself with a thick blanket on that cold winter’s day. But she was full of dread.

Is this all I am? she often asked herself.

She was married, had young children and had been told her rewards were eternal; not to seek them here. Yet she wanted to know if there was more. 

Why couldn’t she be content with what she had? Was it because his eyes were always wandering? What would she do if, someday, she found herself alone?

Is this all I am?

Or was there something more? She could stay in her warm cocoon, head down, relying on her husband, taking care of the children. Ignoring infidelities, pretending her future was secure. But could she do this forever? How would she cope on her own with young children? What would she do?

Is this all I am?

Watching her innocent children play, oblivious as their father continually strayed, changed her mind and her life. The little ones were defenseless and relied on her completely. But she would rely on no one, she would be self-sufficient. Yet what did that mean? How did one accomplish that? Doubt gripped her once again, making certain she knew her place.

But… is this all I am?

Slowly, she dared to do more. The building in front of her was daunting but she would spend years there. The familiar doubt tried to crowd her mind. Was she smart enough? Brave enough? This time, she firmly shook herself free and told her fear it was no longer allowed to linger there. The words in her head began to change meaning.

I am more than this!

Photo by Karolina Kaboompics: https://www.pexels.com/photo/medical-stethoscope-with-red-paper-heart-on-white-surface-4386467/

Through years of studying in the imposing building and dragging her children to class with her when she had to, she began to change the dialogue she allowed in her head even more. Determination replaced insecurity, her failures were her own. So were her wins.

I am going to do this!

The girl who was thought dumb, the one who berated herself and let others do the same, changed. She graduated with honors and her children were proud. Through her, they learned courage, dedication and perseverance.

I did this and I can do more!

She fulfilled her life’s dream of becoming a registered nurse. She found great joy in caring for others and her confidence began to soar even higher. And one day, as she had predicted, she found herself alone with children to provide for. But she was able to handle this because she had worked hard. But more importantly, she had changed the thinking in her head.

Happy timezones, good friends! Hoping each of you is having a good week!

Thank you so much for reading, liking, lurking, and commenting! You are important!

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I am a simmer, Rennie garb wearer, author, and dog petter. Judy Garland is my queen, horror movies & classic movies are my jam. A little bit eccentric, owned by cats. 🐱🐱🐱

74 Comments on “Is This All I Am?

  1. Beautiful story, Kymber 🙏 really uplifting as well 🩷 reminds us that we really are capable of so much more 😊 🐈‍⬛ 🐈 ✨

  2. Well written Kymber. I think everyone can get lost in the mundane tasks and obligations of daily life, especially women who are the perpetual caregivers. Taking a step outside the humdrum to do or try something different is the first move. Happy Saturday. Allan

  3. In the middle of caregiving, it can feel repetitious and menial when in reality it is so important. For some reason, Kymber, I haven’t been getting your posts in my email. I subscribed again so should see them now.

  4. Hi Kymber!
    What an inspiring journey you’ve shared.
    Your story beautifully illustrates the power of self-belief and determination.
    Thank you for reminding us that we can redefine ourselves and achieve our dreams!

    1. Me, too, Thomas. The most important thing was how she changed the way she spoke to herself. I look at this as lives saved; not just hers, but her children’s lives, too.

  5. This is a really uplifting story! The character’s change of mindset is inspiring to us readers, as we can put that into practice ourselves. How you think about yourself is quite powerful in how you feel. 🌞

    1. I so agree with you, Dave. So many times we’re our own worst critic when what we should be doing is to cheer ourselves on. Thank you so much for your kind words.

  6. Yes, yes, yes! From “Is this all I am?” to “I am going to do this!” to “I did this and I can do more!” Purpose is the key! Thanks for sharing such a relatable story KymberNoodle! 🙆🏼‍♀️💪🏼🥰

  7. Such a wonderful and inspiring story beautifully written. It always pays off to break free from feeling stuck and embrace a new mindset as it will propel you towards greatness. Our mindset can be the very thing that holds us back or the very thing that pushes us forward. Thanks for sharing, and have a good day 🙂 Aiva xx

  8. Such a powerful and relatable story that wonderfully captures the struggle between doubt and self-discovery.

    1. Thank you, Annika! I’m so glad you found the message of this story so relatable. I think you’re right in that we are all our worst critics, when we really should be cheering for ourselves. 🙂

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