ND: Generation 9 - Noble Doubt

Chapter 9.14: Dear Diary, No More!

Dear Diary, this is a comfy chair, and I may never move from it. During my breakdown in the park with Sebastian holding me up, I realized my choices have led me to the point where I don’t know what I’m feeling anymore. It was even worse when Seb and I finally got home, and he asked me what the matter was.

Looking into his eyes made it harder, not just because his eyes were reflective, but because I did not know how to answer. What was wrong with me? How was I supposed to articulate everything bubbling up inside of me like a volcano?

It seemed to me now that in the past, all I’d done was push my feelings down in order to maintain my many responsibilities and sanity. Wasn’t it more important that Amy have her needs met? What about my mother? She needed a lot, too.

There was no time for me, but the fact was, I hadn’t even tried.

“What is the matter?” Sebastian had asked me, his expression one of deep concern.

With all the mixed up emotions making themselves known, I wanted to scream that enough was enough! I’m a person, too, and there are things I need!

Instead of answering him, my shoulders sagged as I trudged up the stairs, my heart dully thudding in my chest. Once I got to my room, I didn’t reappear, except to put Amy to bed. How thankful I was she slept through the night. When she cried out this morning, Kasey got her.

Sighing, I squeezed my eyes shut, slouching in the comfy chair, my slippered feet stretched out before me.

There was a knock at the door, to which I didn’t open my eyes.

“Unless you’re my fairy godmother, I’m busy.”

There was a pause, then a quieter knuckle rap on the door.

“Sophie, it’s Sebastian.”

Definitely not my fairy godmother, I thought with a wry smile.

“Come in.”

I stood like an idiot when he came in, his feet nearly soundless on the wood floor. He closed the door behind him and we both just stood there, staring at each other, waiting for the other one to say something.

Then we both spoke at once:

“What do you want?” and “I was worried about you.”

“Oh,” we both said in unison, then laughed.

With the ice broken, I waved him to the chair I’d previously occupied, then perched on the other. When we were both settled, we began talking again at the same time.

“Why do we keep doing that?” I asked, heat flooding into my cheeks.

“I don’t know.” He’d been smiling, but then, the corners of his mouth turned down a little. “I wanted to know that you were all right. You had me so concerned.”

Flipping my hair over my shoulder, I snorted out a dismissive laugh. “Of course. I’m always fine.”

He exhaled, his expression thoughtful. “But that is the problem, isn’t it? You’re not always fine, you only pretend to be.”

My stomach clenched as he spoke, and now my mouth was as dry as a desert.

“I think you’re right,” I croaked, my eyes welling with tears.

I swiped at my stupid eyes, angry they’d betrayed me. The last thing I wanted was a repeat of yesterday’s performance in the park, so I knew I couldn’t let it start.

“You’re tougher than any young lady I’ve ever known, tougher than nails. Did you even know it was okay to share how you feel?”

“It was a bit more than that. The last thing I have time for right now is a nervous breakdown. If you hadn’t noticed, the women in this family either emotionally collapse or become total hardasses everyone hates.”

He looked into my eyes and said with a firm voice, “It doesn’t have to be that way. Not for you.”

Finally, tears slid down my cheeks, and by that point, I didn’t even try to wipe them away.

“I-don’t-want it to be that way for me,” I said through my weeping.

His knuckles turned white as he grasped the arms of the chair. It was as if he wanted to rise, but had stopped himself.

When he saw I’d noticed, regret filled his sympathetic smile.

“Sophie…” his voice trailed off.

“Yes?”

Sebastian licked his lips, clasping his hands in his lap.

“It… is difficult. You see, all I want to do is pull you into my arms and promise nothing will ever hurt you again.”

That didn’t sound half bad to me as I wiped a wet cheek with the sleeve of my cable-knit sweater.

“It isn’t what you need, though.”

“It isn’t?”

He shook his head. “No, my lady. What you need is a damn break.”

Suddenly, I burst into laughter, feeling it bubble up from my stomach until I couldn’t laugh anymore.

You know what, Diary? Sebastian was damn right.

An excerpt from the journal of Sebastian Woodbury

There have been many times in life when I’ve had to resort to less than stellar means in order to accomplish something important. Many times, the man who turned me, whom I call Father, had bid me do things that made my skin crawl. But no task was as unpleasant as this one.

“So you will turn me?”

My lip curled up as if it had a life of its own. “You must first promise to uphold your end. Keep in mind that as your father, I can kill you much easier once you’re turned.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.”

“This is not a joke. If you play games with me, I will take you out so fast, you won’t know what hit you. Utter some semblance of understanding or the deal is off right this instant.”

My stomach felt like it might heave, and I struggled to maintain my serious glare so she would feel the weight of the words I spoke.

She sighed. “What do I have to do?”

“I’ve noticed you have the attention of quite a few vampires at the club.”

“Well, duh, have you seen my legs?”

In fact, I had. So had every other vampire in a fifty-mile radius, many of them belonging to Constance.

Constance. Just writing her name here makes my blood boil to the point I might explode! If ever there was an arrogant, narcissistic, deluded, self-important vampire, it was her. Yet, she held all the cards, and I’d had none. Until now, that is.

Unfortunately, everything would depend on whether I turned Tilly or not. If she weren’t turned, knowing her, she’d stab me in the back and double cross me as soon as I turned my back. But, if I turned her, she would be obligated to do as I said without question. Just as the same rules bound me to do as my father instructed.

“All right then. What do I have to do? I hope it’s sneaky.”

It took everything I had not to roll my eyes. Instead, I focused on the task at hand, which was way more important than the disgust I felt for this infuriating woman.

“Do you know who Constance Whitaker is?”

“Of course. I hate her guts. It’s because of her I couldn’t find a vampire to turn me. Until now, that is.”

She licked her lower lip, her eyes gleaming like Christmas lights.

Still fighting my compulsion to flee from her presence, I continued, “You and I are going to end her.”

She gasped, then clapped her hands like Amy did when she was a one-year-old, seeing Elmo for the first time.

“I will work out the details.”

“Wait, though, when will you turn me?”

Honestly, I didn’t want to think about it, but I had to face it whether I liked it or not.

“Soon. Once we’ve agreed upon everything.”

Tilly headed toward the stairs, then turned back toward me.

“You say you’re doing all of this for Sophie, so, tell me, what is it about her you love so much?”

A lump filled my throat as I considered her question.

“She is honest, has a huge heart, and she’s intensely loyal. And, when she is faced with hardship, she digs in and does what she has to do. There aren’t many people with her qualities.” There was more I could say, but did Tilly deserve to know my inner thoughts?

The truth was, Sophie was incredibly brave, and I was certain she would give her life for anyone she loved. She was kind, beautiful, and everything I’d ever wanted in a woman. Every thought I had revolved around her in some way. If only I didn’t have to resort to using Constance and Tilly to get what I wanted, I’d be much happier.

But I’d walk through fire for Sophie.

“Hmph. Well, I don’t see it. Hopefully, she won’t find out you turned me.”

Then, she had the audacity to wink at me, setting me on edge.

“Anyway, let me know the details as soon as you can. I’m ready to get rolling on this.”

Once she left, my thoughts returned to Sophie. She didn’t even know I wanted to become human again, nor did she know I was seeing Constance. Now, I was going to turn Tilly and attempt a coup.

What would Sophie say if she ever learned the truth? Could she ever love me back?

Whether Tilly knew it or not, that sly remark and wink had sealed her fate.



Lookie here! I actually got a chapter out! lol I hope you liked it.

Thank you, Bee (Stories by Bee / Poses by Bee) for making the Conversation poses, and the Chair Sleep poses I used in this update!

Thank you, Readers and Friends, for reading, liking, commenting, and lurking. I appreciate you!


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I am a simmer, Rennie garb wearer, author, and dog petter. Judy Garland is my queen, horror movies & classic movies are my jam. A little bit eccentric, owned by cats. 🐱🐱🐱

38 Comments on “Chapter 9.14: Dear Diary, No More!

  1. Ah yay, I’m finally caught up! It was a fun ride reading everything ❤

    This generation is already so full of sadness. Seeing Gigi blinded in a false happiness and manipulated completely by Laris was heartbreaking, and even more so for her to sacrifice herself to save everyone. Sophie basically lost her entire youth to the boarding school and the whole terrible Midnight Hollow situation. Even though she’s just turned into a young adult, she already feels as if she’s fifty, straining under the responsibility of Amy and Jade, and entire fortune with no one from her family left to help. I was hoping Jade would be alright, but she really did lose her mental health in a devastating way. Sophie’s right about all the recent women in her family breaking down/turning stone cold, I’m crossing her fingers that she can have a relaxing, quiet life with Sebastian as they make for a lovely couple! Pleaseee let them eventually be happy Kymber, LOL 🙏

    1. YAY! I’m so thrilled you’ve been reading again. It means so much to me. ❤❤

      You’re so right about everything you said. Poor Sophie, having to struggle through her childhood, missing out on everything children need and should do.

      I wanted Sophie to realize how the women of the legacy have turned out, and I wanted her to choose to be different; to overcome what has almost become a family curse.

      LOL I will try, Lila. ❤❤

  2. So entertaining, Kymber, even though I can’t keep up with the story. I like the intrigue and the flawed characters, and that you leave so much mystery. Well done. Keep it up. 😀

    1. Sorry I had to tag onto Diana’s comment. I couldn’t get the ‘comment’ field to show up! I probably should have changed browsers….

      Anyway–wonderful submittal. I love how Sophie changed her emotions so quickly, from devastation to happiness. Well done!

      1. I’m sorry you couldn’t see the comment box. It was a problem after my theme updated and conflicted with a plugin. It took me a few days to figure this out.

        Thank you so much. I’m so glad you liked the chapter.

  3. “You see, all I want to do is pull you into my arms and promise nothing will ever hurt you again.” Swooooon!

    Oh, Tilly. I’m getting a bad feeling about all of this.xx

  4. I totally agree about Sophie needing a break. A big one.
    Also, I’m kind of interested in seeing Seb and Tilly’s plan. Getting rid of Constance is a good idea.

    1. This might be the best idea Sebastian has ever had suggesting Sophie take a much needed break. I can’t wait to show you what she gets up to. haha

      I also can’t wait till you see what Seb and Tilly do!

  5. Wow, Sophie looks so much like Jade in this chapter! I didn’t even realize it until now.
    This is interesting. That last sentence seems eerie and I too had a thought that Seb might plan to end Tilly as well. I wonder what his plan is. He has to first get Constance’s secrets out of her and I wonder how he’s going to do that.
    I fear this might not end well once Sophie finds out what he’s been doing behind his back. And him plotting with Tilly, too!

    1. And I’m glad for once I managed to post a comment directly through your site. I’ve been posting them through reader for a good while now because otherwise it wouldn’t immediately log me to WP and even if I chose to log in through there it just kept loading and loading and the comment never appeared. Don’t know if you changed anything, but I’m glad it worked now, that’s much more comfortable!

      1. Oh wow, I’m glad to know this. After that fiasco with my theme, I changed it to a previous theme I’ve had for a long time. I’m so disgusted with the theme creators, and this just adds to my ire. I’m so glad you were persistent in posting even though it was difficult. And, I’m doubly glad it’s working now as it should.

    2. Oh my gosh, she does look like Jade! I was staring at her picture the other day and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but you’re right.

      You just might be right about Seb’s plans for Tilly. And yeah, he still needs Constance to tell him how to become human again. We’ll soon see how he goes about that.

      I fear you’re right about Sophie’s feelings once/if she finds out what Seb has been up to.

  6. I really hope Sebastian is upfront with Sophie before it’s too late, otherwise she will be very disappointed in him I reckon. Sophie deserves a happy ending after everything Xx

    1. Thank you, Ami. I think you’re right about how Sophie would feel if Sebastian continues on this path behind her back. She sure does deserve a happy ending, if anyone does. xo

  7. Yeah .. I sense my fav is doomed .. he will prob leave her “for her own good” because he “is so bad” and I will have to look at sniveling Everette for the next ?? generations .. eh it has happened before! I always pick the loser.

          1. Lol Yes when you have dreams and hopes for a certain thing and then it never works or worse you make a couple and they don’t like each other the way you want them to but the thing about the Sims as we can make it happen when we want to LOL what happened to my story is not often what happens in the game he he he he

            1. LOL I hear you on that, totally! For instance, I was pretty much #teamDax when I was writing Blue’s generation. But they didn’t really hit it off too well. She kept going after Matthieu, so I was like, well, there you go. haha

            2. Oh my God, I was SO rooting for Blue and Dax and was so sad when he left for Paris and she got together with Matthieu.
              In my story, I think people didn’t exactly like Shari and Ron together because they were too toxic, but I loved writing them together, lol.
              But the funniest, I think is when I was shooting the last chapter for Sam’s gen and in there Cedric tricked Sam that he was into him and I wanted him to handcuff Sam when he was moving in for a kiss, but then they declined the kiss interaction every time. I even made them boyfriends, I cheated their attraction with Master Controller and nothing worked. They absolutely hated each other. And I ended up taking a pic of them just facing each other awkwardly in close proximity because I couldn’t get the kiss interaction not to be declined to shoot them moving in for a kiss. That was so hilarious honestly and story-wise it makes a lot of sense they’d hate each other (I may have had them as enemies or sth in-game before that so that might have messed things up, I don’t remember), but boy did it annoy me, lol.

            3. Oh that does sound like such an irritating bother. I ran into a situation once where my sim turned down another sim’s proposal and then later they did fall in love, but the rejected sim would not propose to her again. I jumped through an exorbitant amount of hoops to make their wedding happen. hahaha

    1. Thank you, Hilly! Were you surprised to see a chapter today? LOL

      I hope you had a great turkey 🍗 day, too. lol

      Tilly bothers the “gravy” out of you. hahaha Good one! Made me spit my ice water out! I agree that Soph and Seb need to ditch her.

  8. Okay. A lot to digest especially where Sebastian and Tilly are concerned. I wonder if he plans to not only end Constance, but also take out Tilly once they are done. And just when Sophie is beginning to recognize that she just might have feelings developing for him. I don’t k or if she could forgive him if he killed Tilly. But maybe she could. Hmmmm.

    1. Thank you, Audrey. Those are good points. It does seem like he means to end Tilly, too. Or perhaps he has something else up his sleeve. 😀 Anyway, I think Sophie would have a hard time with it if he killed Tilly in cold blood. We’ll see though.

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