Chapter 9.5: Dear Diary, Sense Rises to Surface

Dear Diary, I’ve been full of restlessness, easily distracted, and feeling like all my insides are trembling. Tired of my ladies pacing alongside me, I dismissed them. They protested, of course, but nevertheless, I shooed them away from me.

It wasn’t long before I sensed Sophie’s presence. After a moment, she slipped her hand in mine as I continued to stare out the window.

“What do you see?”

Her question took me off guard because her voice was so caring and tender when before, she’d been so quarrelsome.

“Why I suppose I see what you see. The sun is shining brightly through the leaves in the trees. It’s so nice and warm today. What is it you see?”

She hesitated, but then, took a deep breath and said, “I see darkness. There is no sunlight, and the trees are all bare, but it isn’t Autumn or Winter.”

During her description, for an instant, in one blink, there were no leaves. It was dark all around without a single beam of sunlight. Then, in another blink, all was right again.

I frowned. What was that I’d seen for just a second? It was as if two pictures were overlapped, but I only caught glimpse of the one underneath in the space of one blink.

“What is bothering you?” she asked in a small voice.

It seemed ages since I confided in my little sister. If only I could trust her now. But she was against me.

They all were.

Finally, I turned to face her in the dark hallway at the head of the stairs.

“There is nothing the matter,” I said with a brisk voice and a forced smile.

She shook her head and licked her lower lip.

“I know that isn’t true. You’ve been pacing for days. Is it the baby? Is she keeping you up?”

The baby. My little princess.

My thoughts had grown too dark to share space with little Amy. All I wanted was to spend time with my precious child. Yet my fears crowded everything else out.

Sophie spent all her free time with the baby, for which I was grateful, but also jealous.

“I have a lot on my mind,” I said at last, my stomach in knots. “What is it you want?”

She hesitated for a moment, smoothing out her sweater. Then she pulled a little box out of her pocket, opening it so I could see its contents.

I gasped when I saw the dainty little necklace inside.

“Why, that is charming. Where did you get it?”

She licked her lips, then held the box out, presenting it to me. “Dad got it for me as long as I promised not to break it. He took me to an art fair and when he saw me looking at it, he bought it. I’ve never worn it. But I want you to have it.”

Stepping closer to her, I asked, “Why would you give me this? It must be very precious to you.”

“It is, and so are you, Geeg. I can’t think of anyone better to wear it than you.”

I ran my fingers along the heavy necklace I always wore. The one Laris gifted to me when I moved to Midnight Hollow.

“But I already have a necklace.”

She nodded, almost too rapidly, then took the necklace out of the box, unclasping it so she could put it around my neck.

“You wear that one all the time. It would be so nice to see you in something else. Especially something in memory of Dad.”

I’d almost succumbed to her sweet idea until she mentioned our father again. I stepped away from her, comforted by the memory that he was coming to live with us again. After he joined us, we could get mother, too.

Why did I need a necklace in someone’s memory when he was going to be with us again in the flesh?

“Thank you for the offer, my dear, but you should keep it, and wear it yourself.”

As I swept past her to the staircase, I came across Sebastian, who had no doubt heard my entire exchange with Sophie.

I’ve lost faith in Sebastian. There is something shifty about him and he never has anything to report to me regarding my sister other than, “She’s having some difficulty in her earth science class,” or some similar nonsense.

Does he really think he’s there to spy on her grades? OMG! When he does that, I want to curse him with toadification!

You have ONE job, I want to scream at him and his incompetence.

It doesn’t help that I am one hundred percent sure Sophie and Tilly are still laying out their plans to betray me. They’re always chatting until I come near them, then they hush up and look guilty. Maybe I should toadify them for a few days as well?

Descending the stairs, I took a deep breath to steady myself.

Waiting by the front door was my bodyguard. He is a werewolf, and honestly, I forget he is there most of the time. He has assured me, though, he will definitely keep his eye on that wily blood-sucker that watches over my sister.

From somewhere in the back of my mind, I hear my baby cry and my heart freezes. My instinct is to go to her. But I must speak with Laris before my patience and my nerve leave me.

Besides, I know Sophie will go to her.

Sometimes when I watch Sophie’s interactions with Amy, I clench my teeth so hard my jaw hurts. Why does she get to do all these things with my daughter, and I’m stuck doing everything else?

It should be me doing all the things with her that Sophie does. But I have to keep my eye on so much these days. Everyone wants what I have. I can sense it.

And Laris, well, he wants me to forget about the nightmares that have plagued me for years now about my father. He can’t begin to understand the loss I suffered when Dad died so suddenly. And then to be shipped off to boarding school by grandparents who couldn’t care less and a mother on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Where was my love? Where was my satisfaction? Where was my happy ending?

With Laris?

I once thought so, but look at me now. I’m the queen, sure, that’s pretty great, but I don’t have any real friends. Everyone says yes to me because they’re scared to say no.

If I couldn’t vent once in a while, I don’t know what I would do.

Look at his smug face. The know-it-all.

Sometimes, I go to my room and break everything in sight. Smashing lamps against walls and screaming feels good. Besides, I know in a few hours, invisible hands will replace it so I can do it all over again tomorrow.

He still never tells me when my father is coming back, only that it takes time and he’s working on it.

I’d like to work on him.

“You must be more specific!” I yelled at him today.

He folded his arms in front of his chest, glaring at me. “Calm yourself. I have important things to deal with. There is a rumor of resistance, and I need you by my side.”

How could he be so unfeeling toward me, his Angel and Queen? Was it all a lie? But to what end?

I took a deep breath. “Please, Laris… my King. I’ve waited for so long, and you promised me.”

“I keep telling you soon. Did you not hear that we have trouble brewing?”

“You said it was only a rumor.”

He loosened his collar before regarding me with cold, hard, red eyes. “A rumor that must be quashed before it can become reality.”

I couldn’t have cared less about any rebellion, though, because Laris was so powerful. Much more so than any band of ragged dissenters could ever hope to be.

“You promised me,” I repeated, holding back a sob.

Laris’ nostrils flared, and he bared his teeth while he answered me.

“Enough! This is nonsense!”

It was my turn to speak through clenched teeth, restraining myself as best I could.

“No, these answers are no longer good enough! I will have satisfaction! You will bring my father here now!”

Laris cursed under his breath, sneering at me. “Your father is dead,” he growled.

I stared at him, not fully comprehending at first what he was saying. Little beads of sweat broke out on my forehead as tears welled up in my eyes.

He was full of lies! I couldn’t bear it. The Great Promise was the only reason I’d gotten through everything that had happened to me.

I was in a full sweat now, my chest tightened as something bubbled inside, a roiling heat in my stomach…

…waves of laughter overcame me until I couldn’t breathe.

I’d been so stupid.

He wasn’t coming. There was no happy ending.

My laughter turned to screams. I grabbed fistfuls of my hair, looking at the ceiling with mad eyes.

Laris waved dismissively at me and left.

I do not know how much time passed while I anguished.

Falling onto the couch, tears still came. Quieter now, but no less wrenching.

All was lost.

A Note from the Werewolf, Fred Jackery, Bodyguard to the Queen, delivered to Gerrard McCalmont, head of The Resistance

Preying Phantom and Little Beehive have failed to exchange necklaces.

However, the Queen is close.

The King is suspicious. Ready the Alliance. Will send signal.

A very special thanks to Bee (Stories by Bee / Poses by Bee) for the poses I used from her site: Emotions – Adult, Just Standing – Males, Emotions – Body Language, Emotion – Male Adult Poses, Emo Male Set 2, and Conversation Poses. Your poses make me so happy! 

I hope you are enjoying the story, and that this post finds you safe, and well. Thanks so much for reading, liking, commenting, and lurking.