ND: Generation 7 - Noble Doubt

Chapter 7.13: Dear Diary, Learning to Breathe Again

Part 1: Peace at Last

Dear Diary, coming to Winchester is the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time. Who knew I could find such pleasure in everyday tasks? The work is hard, yet I find myself not minding. I am as close to nature now as I was when a child, and it’s good. There is such a connection to life, whether large or small, it’s what my soul was craving.

I don’t think I will stay here forever. For now, though, there is no desire to be anywhere else, and I don’t have to think about the past, or the future, for that matter. All that’s important is now.

It wasn’t until I came here that I realized I couldn’t breathe. I was strangling and choking with the stresses of losing Bram, being pregnant, and all the rest of it. Now, my breaths come slow and easy. The muscles in my neck have stopped cramping, and at night, I fall into bed drowsy. I’m able to sleep.

Although still detached, Jarah is different, too, bounding up the stairs two at a time, and looking at me when I address him. He’s learned to horseback ride, too, and does so whenever he has a moment.

I watched him trotting across the barnyard like a pro, speaking softly to the horse, and wearing the strange clothing of the island. I smiled, though, when I saw his shoes. He refused to wear the shoes the other men wore, instead opting for his converse sneakers.

Closing my eyes, I tipped my head back and let the cool breeze from the ocean drift over me. It was easy to get lost in the moment until a voice interrupted my trance.

“Good morning, Cousin Kara.”

It was the neighbor across the street who was a cousin of some sort to this family. When I first met her, I had the weird feeling I’d seen her somewhere before even though she insisted she’d never been off the island. After flipping through Blue’s journal, I realized she seemed familiar because she looked a lot like Blue’s younger brother Leo Jr. Seems to me the Capra genes are strong here.

The only difference, though, was that this particular cousin seemed to enjoy rolling in dirt or something. Okay, that wasn’t kind. But how can someone be covered in so much filth twenty-four-seven? If I ever saw her after a bath, I think I’d faint.

“Good morning, Lucie,” I said, keeping my voice light. I didn’t dislike her, after all. She was a sweet girl, just kind of… well, stinky.

“Your little brother sure has taken to riding,” she said, although from the corner of my eye, I could see she wasn’t watching him, she was staring at me.

I’d explained who Jarah was to the Larochette family, but it was easier for everyone to refer to him as my brother, just as it was easier for the island to think of me as a cousin to the Larochettes. It was all fine with me because in the end, none of it mattered. Not really.

“He sure has,” I finally said.

“How are you feeling?”

I smiled at her, then turned my attention back to Jarah.

“I’m feeling good, thank you.”

“I can’t wait to hold your baby. He or she will be so cute.”

Smiling again, this time it was a little forced. I could not imagine her holding my baby. How does one tell someone they need a shower before they can touch my child? Maybe Charlotte could find a tactful way.

Part 2: Armand, the Philosopher

If I could paint like Dax St. Cyr, I’d do a painting of Paul as he walks through his fields. The way the sun hits his golden hair and wheat, it’s picture book perfect. He walks there every day, and I asked Michelle, his daughter, about this. She said he inspects the crops frequently.

I imagined, though, he was soaking up the sun, thinking about what a wonderful life he had here with his wife and children. He never spoke much, but he was the kind of person who didn’t need to fill the silence. No, Paul Larochette enjoyed listening to others.

Before now, I hadn’t understood the world could hold such good people. I mean, my family is full of good people. It’s so different here, though. There is no sense of time or urgency. Life is harder, yes, but slower, too. If you asked me, and I know you didn’t, this was what I imagined living on another planet or in a different dimension might be like.

Paul’s son Armand caught up with me in the garden. Unlike his father, he was a talker through and through. I was watering plants, mostly listening to him chatter as he went on.

“You should’ve seen Old Mr. Caron when the phone was put in at the St. Cyr house. I thought he would lose his mind,” Armand was saying.

It was funny to me that something as simple as a landline caused such a stir.

“When was this?” I asked.

“Last Spring. Old Mr. Caron is on the small council, and he set his foot down, wanted nothing to do with it.”

“Seems to me a good thing, the island having a phone,” I murmured as I continued pouring water over the plants.

“Yes, exactly!” he exclaimed. “I figure if I marry the oldest St. Cyr daughter, when she becomes our leader, I’ll really bring this island forward.”

“Oh, are you courting her, then?”

His face scrunched up. “Not exactly, but I’m working on it.”

“If you don’t love someone, you shouldn’t be making wedding arrangements.”

He sighed and threw his arms in the air. He was so dramatic, I could barely stifle my giggle.

“Sometimes, though, you have to make a sacrifice for the better good. You know, the whole good of the many outweighing the good of the one thing.” Then, he put his hand over his heart, and said, “I’m personally willing to surrender my own will to get some modern amenities around here.”

Oh, boy, is what I wanted to say to my little neophyte-philosopher friend. Instead, I grinned and dumped the rest of my watering can over his head.

Part 3: A Promise Made

I was standing on the porch that overlooks the road, my thoughts drifting to Bram, when Jarah joined me. I didn’t have to turn to look, I knew those hesitant footsteps the moment I heard them.

“How are you feeling, Jarah?”

“I should be asking you that.”

“Well, I’m fine,” I said. “I feel good.”

“Are you worried at all?”

I knew better than to answer him right away. His speech was just as reluctant as his footsteps.

True to form, he continued after a minute, “I mean, having the baby here.”

I couldn’t stop the tiny smile from curling the corners of my mouth if I wanted to. His question reminded me of Armand earlier in the garden, sopping wet and incredulous that I’d soaked him.

“They have a phone now, haven’t you heard?”

Jarah didn’t know what to make of my small joke. “I’m being serious.”

I squeezed his fingers, then let go. “I know, I’m sorry.”

“But, are you worried about it? Because I kind of am.”

As he spoke, I inhaled deeply of the fresh, country air.

“I’m not worried. The mid-wife is a competent woman and has been delivering babies for over twenty years. It will be all right.”

“If you say so.”

“I do,” I said. “Look, for the first time in my life, I’m not pasty looking. I have color in my cheeks and some meat on my bones. I feel really good. And you know what?”

“What?”

“You have more color in your face, too, and you’re looking pretty healthy. I’m so proud of how you’ve learned to ride and take care of the horses.”

“I don’t want to stay here forever, though.”

“Neither do I, okay? We need to stay here until we’re sure we’ll be safe elsewhere. I don’t know how long it will take, but I promise you, we will find a normal home, in a normal town, okay?”

In my peripheral vision, I saw a small smile, and nod. Then he said, “Okay.”

“Now, let’s have some dinner and you can tell me what you saw today during your ride.”

His smile widened as he held the door for me, and we went inside. Whatever happened from now, I would do everything in my power to make my promise to Jarah come true.

Notes:

Happy Saturday! It’s good to see you! πŸ˜€

I was wondering if anyone saw anything unusual about last week’s featured pic. You know, the one that heads the chapter and has the title on it? I’ll wait. LOLOLOL No one mentioned it, so I thought I’d point out that it was painted by Dax. hehe

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed today’s chapter. Thank you for reading, liking, lurking, and commenting. I appreciate it so much.


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I am a simmer, Rennie garb wearer, author, and dog petter. Judy Garland is my queen, horror movies & classic movies are my jam. A little bit eccentric, owned by cats. 🐱🐱🐱

46 Comments on “Chapter 7.13: Dear Diary, Learning to Breathe Again

  1. I’m really enjoying Jarah’s character! Part of me keeps wondering if he has powers like Bram, but most of me is just “enjoy these peaceful days, sweet boy!”

  2. I was going to mention how Kara’s cheeks have become so rosy from staying in the sun and working at the farm. But well, life in there is not for everyone. It did work for Blue, but it’s definitey less than ideal for Jarah the computer geek with all the outdated stuff going on.

    1. Thank you, Jowita. Kara kind of thrived at Winchester. She just looked so healthy.

      But, yeah, Jarah was driven a little bit crazy by the lack of technology. lol

  3. Cousin Lucie is a little bit creepy, lol. The way she was staring at Kara from the side and talking about her baby… It’s probably nothing deeper than that, haha.

    I really hope her labor goes smoothly.

    1. Thank you, Heather. ❀❀ You’re right that it’s probably nothing deeper than that, but Kara would be wise to stay on her toes. lol

  4. I’m back! πŸ˜€ I’m sorry it took me so long to comment, but life had been crazy..!
    Sometimes a change like that urgently needed. I’m very happy that Kara and “her brother” are able to take it slow, but I also understand Jarah for wanting to eventually get out of there. I mean, a landline being the most evolved thing in there… it’s a bit extreme.
    Very curious to see what happens!

    1. It’s sooo good to see you! xo

      Right? I’m laughing at the landline part of your comment. So true. And, you’re right that sometimes a drastic change is urgently needed. πŸ˜€

  5. I agree with everyone else, I’m glad they got this chance to stop and breathe. I know they needed it. But the hospital thing didn’t cross my mind until Jarah mentioned. I think he is right to be worried. And maybe Kara doesn’t want to think about it (or can’t think about it because they don’t have any other options, really), but it is kind of a big deal!

    1. Thank you so much. This reprieve was definitely needed, but I think you’re on to something in thinking Kara might not want to focus too much on options that are out of her reach. You’re right about it being a big deal. πŸ™‚

  6. Winchester seems to be doing them a world of a good! I love how at peace Kara is, although I agree with Jarah that they probably shouldn’t stay there forever. I’m so anxious for her to have her baby!! Ahhhhh when will it happen?!

    1. Thank you, Raymond. πŸ™‚ Kara really seems to have gotten the boost she needs. I agree, Jarah is probably right that they can’t stay there forever. I think we’ll be seeing a nooboo very, very soon. πŸ˜€

  7. Feeling you can breathe more easily, muscles relaxing, being able to sleep… I think I’d like to go to Winchester, too! Stinky Lucie, wonder what she’s been doing getting so mucky? I’d want ample hand sanitiser on hand if she came near my baby, too. It’s good Jarah is getting on better in some ways but he does seem very melancholy; I wonder how long it’ll be until that dream of getting back to β€œnormal life” somewhere will come true? xx

    1. Thank you, Caz. ❀ You and me both! Let’s go to Winchester together. LOL

      I imagined Stinky Lucie doing normal gardening and other work, but not really washing in between, going for days even perhaps. lol Yes, I think Kara should take the ferry to the mainland and buy a whole crate of hand sanitizer. I think that’s an excellent suggestion. lol

      I like that you thought Jarah seemed melancholy. Perhaps he has seen how peaceful Kara has become and he’s worried she’ll want to stay. lol Then, there’s this whole baby business. lol

      Jarah hopes that dream of normal life comes true soon, but it might not happen as quickly as he likes. xo

  8. Ooops, I’m late to the party. But I guess so long as I’m here, he, he. πŸ™‚
    It’s nice for Kara and Jarah to have a little break. πŸ™‚ It’s probably a good place for them to consider their next steps. Your pictures in this chapter were so lovely and of course the chapter itself was, too. <3

    1. Thank you, Louise. ❀ I care not when you get here, only that you do. πŸ˜€ ❀❀ lol

      I agree about Kara and Jarah needing a little break. Life has been way too much drama lately.

      Awww thank you. I usually hate my pics with a passion, but I did end up liking the one with Paul in the wheat field. ❀

    1. Thank you, Lisa. ❀ I know you’ve been concerned about the nooboo since she got to Winchester. πŸ™‚ Hopefully, everything turns out well.

    1. Thank you, CT. That’s a good point about using the reader, I am sure you’re right that the featured pic never appears there.

      I think I felt the ghost of Dax near me when I wrote these Winchester chapters. πŸ™‚

  9. That was a lovely picture of paul in the fields <3
    I love Kara and Jarah's friendship. It's just so calm and solid. Does that make sense?
    I'm sort of laughing about the stinky girl. We've all known someone like that… Guess living in a farming community means you probably get nose-blind to some things… Just 'accidentally' spray febreeze on her… wait… they won't have that there! Oh No!
    BTW, I was admiring the pattern of fur on Cesare's head… I love that so many cats have it! So cute.

    1. Thank you so much, Carys. ❀ I’m glad you liked that pic of Paul in the fields. I’m not often happy with my pics, in fact, most of the time I think they’re pretty bad. LOL But I liked that one a lot.

      Stinky Lucie! lol There’s always someone we know hygienically challenged, right? lol But I think you’re right about life in Winchester and becoming nose-blind. haha I love your suggestion to accidentally spray some Febreeze on her. They probably don’t have it, as you already mentioned, but maybe Kara will take a ferry to the mainland and get some. LOLOL

      Awww…. thank you regarding my little buddy. Interesting fact about tabby cats, they all have that “M” marking on their foreheads. πŸ™‚

  10. Aww man! I didn’t think about what Winchester living would mean for her in connection with her childhood. This is good for her. At least for now. Can’t say I can see her staying (unless she too falls in love with a farm boy lol), and I’m glad she thinks so too.

    BAHAHAHA! She doesn’t want the dirty cousin holding her baby LOL.

    Armand is a funny little whipper snapper lol.

    Anything funny in last week’s picture? I just looked at it, and it looks like there are some faces in the clouds? LOL Probably not because isn’t that what we do with clouds? See things in them?

    1. Thank you, Jess. Yeah, I think she is feeling nostalgic, and at home in Winchester because of how she grew up. Nice thinking regarding a possible farm boy. Hmm. πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ We will see.

      Stinky Lucie can stay faaaaar away, thank you. πŸ˜€ haha

      Armand was killing me when I wrote this. None of that was the planned conversation. It just happened.

      LOL Faces in the clouds, now that would be cool. In the lower right hand corner, you can (maybe) see Dax’s signature as it is a painting of the farm he did.

      1. No farm boys! LOL I think Winchester is nice for now, but not forever. Unless Farm Boy wants a change lol.

        It kills me how Armand even knows this. He must hang out at the ferry a lot LOL.

        Oh! I saw that signature. I didn’t know it wasn’t supposed to be obvious lol.

        1. No farm boys? Well…. I will try to behave. haha Honestly, though, I agree that this is not the ideal long-term solution.

          LOLOL Yes, Armand knows things. You must be right that he talks to people at the ferry. haha

          It’s not that it wasn’t supposed to be obvious, I just didn’t know if anyone noticed or not. LOL I’m silly.

  11. Ditto to the other comments. I get how she feels about Winchester though. When we first moved to the farm in Alabama, I (we) was so happy clearing the land, tending to chickens and planting our crops. We worked hard but at the end of the day, it was wonderful. Peaceful and relaxing. I could have been a hermit. That’s why I got a job. It actually scared me that I might never want to see another human being again.

    1. Thank you, Jo. I love hearing about your experience with farm life. A similar thing happened to me when I lived on a farm. You’re so right that it would be easy to forget about life outside the farm after a while.

        1. Yes, it sure is. I’ve always loved farm life, and then The Sims came out with the cow corral and chicken coop. I had to have some farm time. LOLOL

          1. Understandably. BTW, your BoomCha site has been hacked. I got like 20 notifications in my inbox with the heading as recipes and though I didn’t open any, what I saw were words in a foreign language but all the same.

            1. Thank you, Jo, for looking out for me. πŸ™‚ Thankfully, I wasn’t hacked, I was just dumb. LOL I missed having a clean, minimalist looking site. I feel that way every once in a while. In doing so, I imported a demo that, unfortunately, posted a bunch of fake posts. I apologize for the inconvenience of wading through it all. It was quite irritating to find out it’d happened.

            2. Well, I’m glad you weren’t hacked. That’s a mess to clean up, plus… it could possibly mean a delay in your next installment. hehe

            3. LOLOL I ended up making a post about my goof because people are starting to ask what’s going on. What a mess, is right. lol

  12. They needed this time to just stop and figure things out. I don’t believe this it’s a permanent stay, but the reprieve is nice. I had to laugh at the mention of the phone. It’s hard to believe Winchester having one, but I think it is needed. You never know what can happen, and getting help there fast in an emergency situation is important. I wonder if this is foreshadowing something going wrong with the baby. I sure hope not.

    And I wonder what’s going on with Bram? I really hope he won’t turn into a villain, if he is still even alive. I still have hope for them, but there is a lot to work out if they are to have a healthy relationship. He did her very wrong, and he has a lot to make up for.

    1. Thank you so much, Sharon. I agree they needed this time. It’s definitely not a permanent stay, as you mentioned. But the reprieve is definitely needed right now.

      IKR? about the phone thing. LOL I think it’s about time they at least did that much. If Armand has his way, they’ll be using cellphones in the near future. LOLOL

      That’s a good question about the baby. Hopefully, everything will go as it should.

      What is going on with Bram, you ask? That is a great question! lol I’m afraid I can’t answer that right now, but we’ll find out more in the near future. I agree, he has some stuff to smooth over.

  13. I hope the same doesn’t happen to this baby that happened to Kara. Don’t make Bram turn out like that! I also hope Kara will tell her parents about the pregnancy.

    1. Thank you, Hillary. πŸ™‚ I hope that doesn’t happen, too, and I can totally see why that would concern you. I would love to see Kara in touch with her family again so she can tell them πŸ™‚

  14. They really needed this break. To slow down and regroup. I know she’s a little worried about no hospital. And having access to a land line is good if things go south. I’m anxious for this baby to be born and to find out where Bram is. If he’s even still alive….😱

    1. Thank you so much, Audrey. I totally agree about needing this break. I think Jarah is more worried than she is, but in my opinion, she should be more concerned that she presently is. lol They finally got a landline! hahaha Wait till they see cellphones.

      I’m anxious for the baby to be born, too, and can’t wait till we hear from Bram…. if he’s alive. 😱

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