Content Warning: This chapter contains images which may be disturbing for some.
Trigger Warning: Depression/suicidal thoughts. Please be advised.
Tony watched as the water rushed beneath the bridge, churning around rocks and slapping against a tree branch. If he tried really hard, he could imagine himself immersed in its icy depths, closing his eyes, surrendering everything to it as it washed him downstream… washed him clean again.
Coming to his senses, he took a step back, away from the edge. It would have been all too easy to let himself go. All he wanted was a way out.
Sighing deeply, his shoulders slumped forward, he shuffled toward town, kicking a pebble here and there, not really caring where he ended up.
After a time, he found himself in the park near his home. Sitting on the bench of a picnic table, he watched as happy people picnicked and lovers whispered to one another. They seemed to be in a different world than he was. Their lives were sunny and warm.
His was bleak… muted and cold.
No one noticed Tony even though he was watching them. He was that kind of person. Nondescript brown hair, a bland face. He was a nobody.
Finally, he went home and hesitated outside. It seemed that in his memory, his childhood home was once brighter and full of life. His parents had been together then, his mother alive. No one knew where his father was; he’d been gone seven years now.
The bushes were overgrown, wildly sprouting their branches through the railing on the porch. The paint was chipped and flaking away from the house as if it didn’t want to be there anymore either.
The rockers that once held his parents as they chatted and drank coffee were now falling apart like everything else.
Old and worn. That’s how Tony felt even though he was only twenty years old.
He cringed as his older brother Jay came in downstairs. Quickly washing his face and hands, he came downstairs, too. It was almost supper time.
“I’ll be right down!” his sister Andie called from her room. She was on the computer as usual doing who knew what.
“Canned soup again?” Jay demanded, his eyes fiery, his temper hot as usual.
“Hmmm…. I guess you could always take over the cooking,” Andie said, not even pretending she cared.
Tony ducked his head down and continued to eat as Jay muttered obscenities under his breath. He could only hope the too salty soup would go down quickly so he could avoid being near these people.
As soon as he was finished, he cleared all of their dishes and began to wash them. No one had to ask him to do it and no one would thank him for his effort. But doing the dishes himself was better than hearing his siblings fight over who was going to clean up.
“You’re going out again tonight?” Andie yelled.
“What’s it to you? You like to have a place to live and clothes to wear, so, yeah, I’m going out. Don’t be ungrateful,” Jay snarled. “Hurry up, Tony! You’re riding shotgun!”
Tony’s body trembled as he said, “B-but I have stuff to do.”
“You don’t have anything to do that’s more important than this,” Jay hissed.
“Hurry up and get outside to the car. I don’t have all night!”
“I – I can’t – ” Tony started to protest.
“- Will you just go with him so he’ll shut the hell up?” Andie yelled, her voice rising to an alarming pitch.
If only Tony could have thought of an excuse they would buy. If only it hadn’t been so hard for him to think on his feet, perhaps a good reason would have presented itself.
As it was, he had no justification to skip out on his older brother. Meekly, he went outside, shuffling his feet. The door of the old piece of junk car squeaked loudly as he opened it and climbed in. The dull brown interior smelled of old fast food and cigarette smoke.
“When we get there, you keep your mouth shut.”
Tony didn’t need the instructions because it was always obvious to him that if he spoke around his brother, he would either be humiliated or smacked. Instead, he buckled his seat belt and gripped the door tightly with his right hand.
Jay was a careless driver. He purposely swerved toward oncoming cars, laughing maniacally and sneering as Tony’s face turned white. He supposed Tony should have been used to his driving by now, but since he wasn’t, it was fun to scare him.
Jay enjoyed chasing bicyclists, too, coming close to them at high speeds. Sometimes the poor cyclist would swerve into the ditch or into the bushes and that would send Jay into fits of laughter that made Tony certain his brother was insane.
At last, they pulled up to another junky car. Tony looked away as windows were rolled down and items were passed back and forth.
Jay never seemed to worry about the local police. To the contrary, he thought of himself as invincible and above the law. This was his town. He was in charge.
Almost as soon as they stopped for the deal, they were off again. Tony gripped the door harder, his knuckles turning white as at the last second, Jay decided to turn left at an intersection.
The small car lurched and jerked forward with Jay barely slowing the vehicle down. He was laughing so hard, he didn’t see the truck.
But the truck was the last thing Tony saw.
Author’s Note: Thank you for reading! As you may have guessed, if you are a regular reader of Noble Doubt, this is a companion of Chapter 1.23 in which the main characters of that story, Leo and Jilly, are in an accident. I thought it would be interesting to find out who the other unfortunate people in the accident were. I rather feel sorry for Tony as he was a victim in all of this, too. In the end, I hope you liked this short story.
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What I now can’t help but think about:
What happened to Andie? Was she taken by CPS and placed in a group home or did she stay there by herself after her brothers died?
Woah, so I’m doing a speed re-read of gen one as I’m finallyyyyy going to start catching up, and I somehow missed this the first time around. Now, I’m not only re-living the sadness of Jilly’s death but I feel for Tony, too… he ended up dying in a fiery crash as opposed to icy waters 😢
I’m realizing that it sounds like I wanted him to die at the start or something, which is totally not the case. I just wanted to point out how ironic that was! 😅
Oh, no, I didn’t take it that way at all. I knew what you meant. 🙂
Hi, Amy! And, hi! 😀 That’s so awesome you’re doing a speed re-read of Gen 1! I’m tickled you want to do that.
I can see why you feel for Tony. In a way, he was as innocent in what happened as Jilly.
Oh my… poor Tony! Jay was a horrible person who destroyed so many lives (not only the ones he took)!
You are right about that!
Wow. Thanks for writing this. Of course we imagined Jilly died senselessly, but to see it…geez. So tragic.
Thank you 🙂 It was tragic but one day I was just thinking about the other car in the accident and what they were like. 🙂
Oh, I really appreciate this! It brings such a different perspective !
Thank you so much, cathytea! 🙂
It was wonderful but I didn’t get the connection to the very end so I was lost through most of it
Thank you, lisabee. 🙂
T_T Very good story…but so much T_T
Thank you, fluffymao. T_T
Hi! I’ve nominated you for a blog award, you can check it out on my blog 🙂
great story, very sad about Tony
…… and yet now I wonder (and yes I know they’re just fictional) would Jay have been driving around if Tony had stepped off of the bridge? Sorry it’s horrid thought, yet our choices often have wider impacts than we realize beyond our own sphere of influence …. it’s like the one commercial I think it’s from Taiwan or the Philippines about the guy who moves the plant and shares his food and it’s shown how his simple actions have a bigger impact in his community
Thank you. 🙂 You know, that’s a very interesting thought. It certainly does show a new perspective on what our choices mean and who they impact.
You are brilliant! Now I did guess what this was about at the first pic of Jay with the scarred face, but I thought this was going to be the after story of what happened to the family. As a person who lost a close family member to a drunk driver, this is very upsetting but I am still glad you wrote it. I know the man who killed my mother in law, had his life fall apart afterwards completely incapable of living with what he had done. Which is not what I want for him at all. So it is good to see the WHOLE story. VERY WELL DONE. BRAVO!
Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m sorry for your loss; it’s a terrible thing. I’m really glad you liked the story. 🙂
Oh my goodness! So now we know who the other victims in that car crash were… I feel bad for Tony 🙁
Thank you so much! 🙂 Yes, it’s unfortunate about poor Tony. 🙁
I was not expecting that ending at all! It was really great to see the other point of view. I feel horrible for Tony, none of it was his fault, he truly was a victim too. And if he and Leo/Jilly met in other circumstances, perhaps they could have been friends…. very interesting chapter!
Thank you, Lila! 🙂 I bet you’re right about what would have happened if they met under different circumstances.
Tony was a victim before the accident. Good writing, and sadly a true account of a lot of people’s lives.
Thank you, Marj. 🙂
Nice short story! 🙂
It was nice to see from their point of view. Seems like Tony had a depressing and hard life that Jay seemed to make worse. Poor Tony.
Thank you, shannynlee. 🙂 Poor Tony indeed. I think if anyone in that family had potential, it would have been him.
Wow, it’s amazing to see this from others’ point of view. I feel sorry for Tony, too. Grrr, it was all Jay’s fault I didn’t see this coming.
P. S. At first I thought it would be the thing where we see Jilly alive again.
Thank you, Jowita. 🙂 I think I will write Jilly’s story someday, but first I thought I’d dabble with this side story. Jay really was awful.