Time Lapse: One Year
Dear Diary, at last, I have pulled you out again to write. I could say I was busy with the ballet which isn’t a complete lie since it’s still all-consuming. But I’ve already had my off-season break and have begun rehearsals for the new season.
Sometimes writing feels therapeutic, so why then, did I pack this journal away and ignore it for so long?
I thought about this for some time as I went through my daily routines of exercise, dancing, and icing. There were brilliant performances on stage that I could have written about. Or, I could have talked about how happy Chris and Julie are. They’ve added another child to their family.
My sister Rosetta has changed somewhat. Don’t get your hopes up that she has fallen in love. She just seems a bit softer toward the idea. During the past year, she was made Press Secretary to the Leader of the Free World. She still works with our parents although, I don’t know how she fits everything in. She’s closer to her political ambitions and is hoping one day to be Chief of Staff to the Leader of the Free World.
A year and a half ago, this would have been big news to document.
I dated countless people during this time and it was casual and fun. But when it came time for commitments, to advance the relationship to the next level I didn’t feel confident in my own feelings. What happened with Ella had made me overly cautious, I guess.
But there was more.
So, what is it? Why didn’t I feel like anything was important enough to keep in these pages?
At last, I came to the conclusion that three months in Winchester had changed me a great deal. My grandparents changed me in that they inspired a drive in me to find a relationship similar to theirs. How could I do that, though, if I never got close to anyone?
I thought a lot about Ellie and how she never placed expectations on me. My relationship with her was unconditional. I even asked her once why she liked hanging out with me. She had laughed and then said, “Because I like you.” Sure, that might be what anyone might answer to that question. But when she said it, I got the distinct impression she was being completely sincere. She just liked me… for me.
Ellie Duberry changed me and Grandpa’s words declaring that Grandma was never wrong about her matchmaking rang in my head more often than I liked. The more I wrote about Ellie in these pages, the more the realization that I wanted her pounded against me like the waves of the Winchester ocean, each wave bigger than the last, threatening to swallow me whole. And if that happened, I wouldn’t be in control any longer. Yet, I couldn’t forget her or get her out of my mind no matter how hard I tried.
Ellie and I hadn’t even kissed on that island in Winchester. I didn’t suppose she felt the same way I did. Her letters were benign so it was difficult to write back to her without expressing my love for her, my utter devotion. This thing I had for her could never be assuaged because we lived in two different worlds. I couldn’t live in Winchester any more than I could imagine her living in Fortress Rock. She would be lost here.
And so, as my heart ached and longed for the impossible until my chest hurt, I put this journal away. I didn’t want to write down how I really felt because it was too painful and maybe Grandma was never wrong after all.
I had it bad and there was nothing I could ever do about it.
And so there it was, in my brain like a huge, flashing neon light. Ellie Duberry was the only one for me. It may sound like I’m just a two-year-old who wants what he can’t have. Perhaps that’s true. But I don’t want to love anyone else. Even if it means I’ll forever be alone with this aching in my heart.
Sounds dramatic, I know.
“Holden! Is that you?”
Slowly, mouth gaping wide, I turned around to see Ellie standing in front of me. Blinking hard, I was sure I was hallucinating her likeness. OMG, was I losing my mind? Should I take a cab straight to the hospital so they could admit me to the psychiatric unit?
“Aren’t you going to say hello?” the Ellie-apparition said.
After a moment, I was able to shut my mouth and take in the sight of her. “Ellie?” My voice cracked like a pre-pubescent boy.
“I didn’t realize you’d be so shocked to see me,” she said. “I saw you standing there and I couldn’t believe my eyes! Of course, I had to say hi.”
“Hi,” I stupidly said, the heat rising in my cheeks.
“Are you in a hurry to go somewhere?”
Gradually, I began to come back to my senses. “I just had a morning workout at the gym and was on my way home. What are you doing here?”
“I moved here a few months ago to take some writing classes. I’ve decided I want to be a professional writer and so, I’m preparing for that. I want to write stories about my parents and how I came to Winchester – of course, I won’t call it Winchester in my books because it’s a well-guarded secret – ”
” – I still can’t believe you’re here.”
“I know and I’m sorry I didn’t let you know right away. I was going to contact you but life has been crazy.”
I was beginning to understand she was living here now and I felt a little stab to my heart that she seemed to think contacting me wasn’t very important. Still, I was so happy to see her, I hurriedly pushed that thought away.
“Hey, um, do you want to come over and catch up?”
She flashed me a pretty smile. “Oh, I’m sorry, I can’t right now. I’m on my way to class. In fact, that’s my ride there.”
She pointed to a vehicle that had pulled up to the curb. It’s hard to hide the fact that you’re nosey but as I peered at the car, I realized it was a guy in the driver’s seat.
“Oh, is he in your class, too?” I casually asked. At least, I hope it sounded casual.
“Yes, that’s Derek. I met him in class and we started dating. I think you’d really like him.”
I bet I wouldn’t, I imagined myself saying. Instead, I nodded with a tight smile and said, “I’m sure I would.”
“You know what? I’m free later this afternoon. Are you busy? We could meet up then. I really do want to catch up with you.”
“Yeah, that would be great,” I enthused.
Just then, Derek honked the horn.
“I’ve got to go!” she said.
I gave her my phone number so she could call me later to set up a time and then I watched as she got into the car and it drove away.
After rehearsal, I practically ran home at full speed. I wanted to make sure the house was straightened up and I looked decent before Ellie got there.
When she finally arrived, she seemed very different than the bubbly and spirited girl I’d seen just this morning.
As we sat on the sofa, I asked, “What’s wrong? You seemed so happy this morning.”
Secretly, I was hoping she and Derek had broken up. That would make me the rebound guy, so that wouldn’t be ideal, but I’d take what I could get.
“Oh, Holden, have you ever wanted something so bad you couldn’t stand it?”
Yes, that sounded like me all right. I merely nodded.
“Only to find out you just weren’t good enough?”
Whoever had hurt her, I would kill him. Was it Derek? He was dead meat. “Who says you’re not good enough?”
“One of my instructors. He thinks my writing is shallow and that I’m not digging deep enough. He was really critical of me today and I guess I it has me down.”
“What do your other instructors think?”
She shrugged a little. “I get pretty good grades, honestly.”
“Then why does this have you so down? It’s just one person’s opinion.”
“Because he is the one I wanted to impress the most.”
“Oh,” I mumbled.
“I kind of know what you’re talking about,” I said. “I mean, dancing is a bit the same way. There are critics who come to the show and everything rests on your performance. But, everyone has an off night once in a while when things aren’t as smooth as you hope they’ll be. The next day, you read the paper and the critic has scathed your performance for everyone to see.”
Hanging her head, she said, “That sounds awful.”
Without thinking about it because it’s just in my nature, I put my arm around her. “It can be. You should see what happens around here when that happens. I always know I’ve gotten a bad review when one of my roommates hides the paper or just the section the review is in.”
She laughed a little at that, but she still looked miserable.
All I wanted to do was pull her close to me and comfort her. I didn’t think that would go over so well, though, so I restrained myself.
“Hey, can I read whatever it is you write?”
“So far, all I’ve done are mainly essays.”
“Great! Can I read them?”
“Well, will you give me an absolutely honest opinion?”
My heart was breaking for her. I couldn’t stand seeing her so sad. “Yes,” I whispered. “I’ll be kind of a sounding board for you.”
“Okay, then, I’ll bring them by sometime soon.”
Before I could answer her, Rosetta came briskly through the front door, startling us right off the couch.
“Oh! Hello!” she said to Ellie.
“Uh, Ellie, this is my sister Rosetta. Rosetta, this is Ellie.”
Rosetta’s eyes flashed and seemed darker. “Is this the girl that – ”
Luckily, I’m pretty good at reading my twin but I barely caught her before she got it all out in a sentence. ” – No! That was Ella. This is Ellie… from Winchester.”
Relief passed through her face but I was still worried she might say something more about my experience with Ella.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Ellie,” Rosetta said, to my relief. “Are you in Fortress Rock for a visit?”
“Actually, I have a small apartment near the gym where Holden works out. We ran into each other by chance this morning.”
“Oh, how nice. And what is it you do?”
Was this really my sister speaking kindly or had aliens taken her away and replaced her with whatever this was?
“Well, I work part-time as a server at Thai-Riffic. I can walk there from my apartment and the tips are really, really good.”
“Oh! Yes, I know that place. Sometimes we get carry-out from there,” Rosetta said with a smile.
“I should get going,” Ellie said. “Thank you for having me over, Holden. Rosetta, it was so nice to meet you.”
“Don’t forget I want to read your essays.”
“I won’t,” she said with a smile.
As I walked her to the door, I could only hope I’d see her again soon.
“She is an absolute doll!” Rosetta said once Ellie was gone. “Tell me you didn’t know she was coming over, though.”
“Why?”
“Because I think that’s the most ridiculous shirt you’ve ever worn.”
Ah, there she was.
“Why are you so happy?” I asked.
“Don’t be so suspicious.”
Instead of answering, I raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to respond.
“Okay, okay! I’ve just come from the salon, don’t I look smashing?”
Realizing for the first time she was in an evening gown, I said, “Oh yeah, you do.”
“I’m on my way to a State Dinner. We’re hosting the Prime Minister of Asmistan. I was key in getting him here to negotiate a treaty with his country. If he enjoys tonight’s dinner and the musical performance we have lined up right after… if he signs this treaty, I have been promised the Chief of Staff position!”
“That’s terrific, sis!”
As she spoke on about how instrumental she was in bringing the Prime Minister of Asmistan to the Free World, my mind drifted to Ellie. She had a boyfriend and her own life. But I wasn’t completely out of the picture yet. So, there was hope.
Author’s Note: I would like to thank Bee for the beautiful poses in this chapter where Holden and Ellie are sitting on the sofa talking. If you would like to use Bee’s poses, you can find them here: Poses by Bee.
Thank you for reading,
First of all, Holden what ARE you wearing???!!! I totally agree with your sister; that Hass to be the most ridiculous shirt I’ve ever seen. LMAO!
It was so cool to see Ellie in Fortress Rock. Blue is never wrong about these things, and Holden has realized that, at last, he is in love. It’s just too bad she has been snatched up, but I don’t think it’ll be forever. Just bide your time, Holden, and you will be the one who gets the girl. 😊
Rosetta looks great in her evening gown. I wish all the best for her evening, and hopefully the event will go smashingly. If I know her though, she will get what she wants very soon and then maybe she can find someone to settle down with. Yes, she’s so focused on her work, but it’s never fun to be alone. You need someone to share your victory and joy with, as well as the bad times.
Hahahahahahahaha! I think that was Holden’s favorite shirt until then. LOL It’s so him.
Blue is never wrong, you are right. haha I think your advice for Holden is good; that he should bide his time.
Rosetta is on an unusual path, and I have no doubt, she will get what she wants. I don’t know if she’ll ever focus on having a family of her own, but we’ll see. 🙂
What a very interesting chapter ! Holden in love with Ellie I was sure there will be something between both even though she’s taken for now.
And congratulations on Rosetta she’s now a respected policitian.
Julie with Chris are parent ? wow !! What a good new !!
Thank you so much 🙂 Holden is so head over heels for Ellie lol. It’s too bad she has a boyfriend but maybe that will change.
Rosetta is definitely moving up the political ladder like she always wanted.
Yes, Julie and Chris have a baby! Things are really working out for them. 🙂
Things couldn’t be so perfect for your characters.
My brain: Ooooh, Ellie! little clap. Then “grrrrr, Derek!” Hopeful when she came over, and then when Rosetta mentioned the shirt 😂
Great chapter!
LOL Thank you so much. 😀 I like little claps and even “grrrs.” LOL Hopefully, we’ll find out soon how much Ellie really likes Derek. And, we also hope Holden doesn’t do anything crazy or embarrassing in the meantime. lol Holden totally doesn’t see why Rosetta doesn’t like his shirt. 😛
I finally got to write a line of thank you for this chapter!! I so want Ellie and Holden to get together, and the children they could have would all look like angels!! Wow! Derek is just ‘handy’ for now, but I am also curious as to why it took so long for Ellie to let Holden know she was in town. Clear that one up for us, Kymber, please!! ♥
Thank you, Marj. 🙂 Good to see you!
I hope you get your wish about Ellie and Holden. We shall soon see how into Derek she is. Hopefully, Holden doesn’t do anything awkward or stupid in the meantime. haha
I will clear that one up, Marj, for sure! 😀
Ellie is indeed gorgeous and she seems like one of those soft, sweet people who are gorgeous on the inside too. A really good match for Holden! But he has to compete for her, it sounds like… Well, I’m sure he can win her over 😉
Rosetta’s really moving on up in the world. Good for her!
Thank you so much. 🙂 I picture Ellie much the same way as you described. And I think she could be good for Holden but I wonder how into Derek she is? I have a feeling Holden will be finding out. lol
Rosetta is doing really well in politics, it seems. I have plans to show her vision of things in a bonus post.
Ah, so Ms.Dubbery is finally nearby! Good, good. Now Derek needs to get away from her.
I agree, life seems to be pushing them towards each other.
Yes! She has arrived! lol The pieces were falling into place until Holden learned about Derek. Life has a way of making things happen. lol 😀
I do find it weird that Ellie moved and never tried to tell Holden. Maybe because she loves her boyfriend and didn’t want to contact a guy? Derek seems rude, lol. Probably looking too deep into him honking the horn though.
Hmm, Rosetta loves Ellie already and was nice! 😂 Well, I didn’t think any more into his shirt than kissing may be on his mind with Ellie over. It’s very Holden. ☺
Thank you, Heather. 🙂 That does seem a bit strange seeing as how she and Holden are friends. Perhaps we’ll learn more about why in the future. Honestly, if a guy honked at me like that, I’d either take my sweet time or not ride with him at all. lol
Yeah, what’s up with Rosetta being all nice to Ellie? LOL 😛 I thought the shirt was very Holden, too. LOL
Holden…he’s such a puppy lol.
LOL You know it. 😀
What an wonderful chapter this was, Kym! <3 I could really feel Holden’s love for Ellie, his desperation when he found out about Derek, and I sooo enjoyed his train of thought about Derek when he saw Ellie sad – I mean, haven’t we all done that? Lol!
I’m sure Ellie will realise she wants Holden back… at least I hope so! They will be so good together, I just know that 💕
I literally laughed out loud with Rosetta’s comment on Holden’s shirt… lmaoooo! Good old Rosetta! I hope she gets that promotion though 🙂
That was an awesome chapter! <3
Thank you so much! 🙂 I’m so glad you could feel what Holden was describing. He is so emotional. I agree that I think we’ve all done that. lol
Hopefully, Ellie might find she feels the same way. I do think they might be good together if they both got on the same page.
LOL I’m glad you thought what Rosetta said was funny. She does know what to say LOL <3
Destiny. And who will ever get over that shirt? Men can be such children. I remember one time my pre husband came to pick me up from work one day in a shirt that was way too small that it was almost a crop top. I kept looking at it and suddenly realized it was one of my boy’s shirts !! I asked why. He said ” it was in my drawer”. LOL They can sometimes be such idiots! I’m surprised I married him.
It was in his drawer! Oh, I’m dying! LOL Sounds pretty typical as far as that goes. 😛 I love your story so much! <3
Ellie’s here! I agree with Blue here, they would make a great couple. Now here’s hoping this Derek dude moves aside…
Thank you so much 🙂 Blue is never wrong. Ellie just needs to figure that out like Holden did. lol
OHHH .. I was standing on that rug … the one you pulled out from under me with DEREK … I guess it is never that easy huh
Thank you, Lisa. 🙂 No, nothing is easy. Hopefully, you didn’t get hurt when the rug was pulled out. lol
Wow, the intense way Holden was thinking about Ellie kinda threw me off lmao, since he didn’t spend much time with her. But I guess that’s just him, I hope he doesn’t accidentally let loose these emotions because I feel that might scare her a little bit haha.
I like how Rosetta has softened her abrasive attitude. I do agree with her about Holden’s shirt though 😂
Nice chapter 😀
Thank you, Lila 🙂 Holden just has really intense feelings, I guess. LOLOL I think you’re right that Ellie would be a little scared by it all if she knew. 😛
Holden’s shirt was killing Rosetta bad. LOL
Wow, Chris and Julie didn’t waste any time did they? Lol. I can’t wait to see their new bundle of joy!
Looks like things could work our for Holden and Ellie after all once this Derek guy is out of the picture. We haven’t even seen him yet, and I already know I don’t like him just because he honked at her when she ran into Holden. How rude! Channeling my inner Stephanie Tanner
Before Rosetta said anything, I was like Holden’s really gonna go with that shirt with a girl he likes coming over?? At least he is being himself! 😅
Thank you so much 🙂 You’ve got that right! lol They are such a cute little family. I can’t wait to show you.
I’ve been loving the Derek comments and how Ellie needs to get rid of him. It is funny because no one has seen him yet and he might be a really nice guy. LOL
I love that you channeled your inner Stephanie Tanner. When you said “How rude” that was exactly what I pictured. lol
Hahaha You’re right, Holden just has to be Holden, but, dude, the shirt has to go. LOL
While reading this chapter, I actually thought that Derek is probably a nice guy if Ellie likes him. But then the honk kinda ruined that for me haha.
Yeah, that honking thing was rude. If I’d been Ellie, I would have waited even longer. LOL
Holden feels everything so deeply ! And it’s fun to see Rosetta taking the world by storm !
Thank you, CT 🙂 He really does, you’re right about that.
I really hope Rosetta is able to reach her final goal because I think that would be really fun to see in a bonus post or something.
Thank you for the shout out on the poses! These couple poses are not posted yet, but they are nearly done. Just tweaking them so they are perfect, or as near to perfect as I can get.
You’re welcome. You know I’m your #1 pose and story fan! 😀 😀 I also know you will be tweaking all your poses because you are a perfectionist. lol
I like this change in Rosetta! She’s still her same old self, but a nicer, softer version. Hmm Ellie needs to realize that Blue is always right and that, by dating Derek, she’s denying her true love 😂 Or maybe I just ship her and Holden too much! I hope Holden wouldn’t purposefully break them up… That would be stooping too low
Thank you, Raymond. 🙂 I think it’s nice, too, that Rosetta’s edge is kind of smoothing out without losing too much of herself.
I like what you said about Ellie denying her one true love. We need to start a “Dump Derek” campaign. hahaha
I don’t think Holden would stoop to that, but he’s not below making a fool of himself with some kind of scheme to get her to notice him. haha
I laughed at Rosetta too of course the first time I read it and again just now! Perfect line for her and I also think that shirt is perfect for Holden. Definitely something he would own and wear randomly, although it certainly fit the meeting as I’m sure it was all he was thinking about doing too
Gosh when you renamed her Ellie, did you think of the similarity between the names because I didn’t at the time. I think Ellie was your idea and not mine.
Now………………how are we going to deal with this Derek??? Let’s get him shipped off to the Arctic for a year or something. Then Ellie will be free to be dated by…whomever!
Thank you, Bee. 🙂 As soon as I saw that shirt, I knew Holden had to have it. hahaha I also knew that would hit Rosetta’s radar hard. lol
You were the one who said Ellie, but it was in passing, listed with a bunch of other names we were kicking around. At the time, I really wasn’t thinking about Ella and later when I realized, I was kicking myself. That’s why I made the distinction in this chapter. Anyway, I think she looks like an Ellie. 😀
Oh, could we do a storyline about sending Derek to the arctic? That sounds fantastic! LOL
Ohhhh.. Ellie! Yay! And I agree with Rosetta. Where did he find that shirt! 😂😂😂 I laughed out load when I noticed it! Okay….there is hope for Ellie,then…. dang it. My Jolden ship sunk into the abyss… I guess I’m glad Chris and Julie found happiness. Grrrr.
But I really like Ellie so I hope she isn’t too attached to Derek….
Thank you, Audrey 🙂 Yes, where did that shirt come from and why did he feel compelled to wear it? LOL 😀 😀 Only Holden, right?
I’m sorry that your Jolden ship sank like the Titanic. They might have been good together but I don’t think either of them ever noticed.
We’ll see if this Derek thing lasts…
Ooh, what a coincidence Ellie moved out to the same town as Holden. Okay, i don’t believe it’s a coincidence at all 😛 They’re just meant to be, aren’t they?
Funny, when I first read Ella in this chapter I thought of how similar their names sounded, then Rosetta voiced it. Then I thought: “wow, I think he’d think twice when putting on this shirt if it wasn’t Holden” and she voiced this, too. Rosetta, you’re stealing my commentary! I mean, this shirt, I feel like it kind of gives out the vibe that Holden is not exactly straight. Okay, I don’t want to sound like I’m into stereotypes, but I feel like straight guys are more concerned about how people take their clothes and they choose stuff that is more boring and plain. But maybe that’s just how I see it.
“I wanted her pounded against me like the waves of the Winchester ocean, each wave bigger than the last, threatening to swallow me whole.” What an utterly beautiful line!
Oh goodness, Ellie, someone hurting you? Come on, you’re better than this one professor. Show him! And dump Derek. You need Holden in your life, not him. 😉
PS: I somehow sensed that these were Bee’s poses here. 😛
Oh, yes, you can definitely tell. 🙂
Thank you, Jowita. 🙂 They just might be meant for one another. Will Ellie figure that out?
I love how Rosetta stole your commentary! haha That made me laugh. I don’t like stereotypes either, but looking at that shirt, I get the same vibe. lol
Thank you about that line. He definitely feels things strongly.
I agree with that! She can do it and show this professor she has what it takes! And yeah, dump that Derek guy while you’re at it. lol
Good, good, Holden realised that Ellie is the one. Blue is never wrong! 😛 And I figured she’d be okay in the “normal world”. She’s awesome 🙂 It’s unfortunate that she’s been snatched up. Hope Holden doesn’t do anything dumb to get her, though. Give it time, Holden… she’ll realise she’s nuts about you 😉
I chuckled a little at Rosetta criticising Holden’s shirt. Though she has softened, she’s still Rosetta. She looks great in the evening gown as well – hopefully, someone will see that so that she can find someone special… might not be easy, considering how focused she is on her work.
This was a wonderful chapter as always, Kym <3 🙂
Thank you, Louise. 🙂 Blue is never wrong! I repeat, never wrong! lol 😀 I think Holden is prone to do something stupid to try to win her away from Derek. LOLOL I guess we’ll see on that. But I can picture it now.
Oh, that shirt. haha Rosetta couldn’t let that go even though she has softened up a bit. I don’t know about her and finding someone special. He’d have to be quite the guy. LOL
That’s what I’m afraid of! Ah, Holden is very impulsive like that… so please, Holden, don’t xD
Ha, ha, true! I hope she finds someone really special, then 😀
I can picture Holden doing something awkward even as I type this. LOL Control yourself, Holden! 😀
That would be nice 😀 😀