Chapter 1.16: Dear Diary, Promoted & Demoted

Entry 16:

1

Autumn has arrived and with it, more uncertainty. Sure, life has fallen into a type of routine… a crazy routine with two sets of twins. Keniesha and I aren’t doing much better. She doesn’t want to talk about the fight we had and I can tell she’s still feeling somewhat hostile toward me.

Mango and Liev still get along fine; business as usual. But there’s a tension in the air now that at times is so thick, it could be cut with a knife.

2

Once in a while, I’m able to leave the house long enough to enjoy a horseback ride. I love the babies, but I look forward to when they’re a bit older and able to enjoy some of these activities with me.

3

Meanwhile, whenever Keniesha and I are in the same room, which is pretty often, the temperature drops about twenty degrees. I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know if it can be repaired.

4

At least she shows my children lots of affection. It’s plain to see she cares deeply for Leo and Jilly.

I know I haven’t been writing regularly as I should. It really helps me think things out when I do. I just feel so tired and worn. There’s a pent up anger or something inside of me and the more I try to ignore it, the more it feels like it’s building up.I don’t want to talk to Liev about it as he has enough on his mind and he’s been consoling me non-stop over my despair regarding my sister.

5

I desperately miss the girl talks I used to have with Keniesha. Whenever I try to talk to her lately, though, I’m met with a cold shoulder. But I still try.

“I’d like to throw Tia and Grace a birthday party,” I mentioned one afternoon. I thought this might make her happy. “I have a really good cake recipe I want to try out and I could decorate it with pretty little flowers.”

“Thank you, but that won’t be possible,” she responded. “Mango and I are taking the girls to his parents’ so they can celebrate with them.”

6

“Why are you being so cold? You know I’ve watched these girls since they were born and that I’ve been looking forward to their birthday!”

She sighed and pointed that dang finger at me. “Well, like many things in life, this isn’t about you.”

Dear Lord, if I had to hear one more time about everything not being about me, I think I’d scream! I prayed silently to the ceiling before speaking again.

7

“I’m not trying to make this about me. I just want to be there. I love them like my own.”

She was so calm, it infuriated me all the more. How had our relationship gotten so far off track?

8

“I can’t do this right now with you, Memphis. We’ve already told Mango’s folks we’ll be there and I’m not cancelling on them. You shouldn’t expect me to. They are the girls’ grandparents after all.”

“I don’t expect you to cancel. I just wish — ” I stopped, biting my lower lip to keep from crying, “– I wish things could be like they were before.”

9

Keniesha looked like she might cry. But she didn’t. Instead she raised her chin defiantly and said, “Well, I’m sorry. Nothing will ever be like it was before.”

Why? I wanted to scream. But I knew why. I’d basically killed her parents just because they had adopted me. And there was not a single thing that could ever make that right again.

10

Then, Keniesha said what I’d been dreading…

“I honestly don’t mean for this to sound so abrupt but Mango’s promotion came through and we’ve bought a house. We close on it in a couple days so after we come back from his parents’, we’ll pack our things and move.”

Just. Like. That.

I was stunned into silence.

11

There wasn’t much to say after that. So, I focused on the children as best I could. I would miss the girls so much when they moved out; thinking of them not being there left a lump in my throat and a tightness in my chest.

And, I spent some time outdoors, visiting the new little colt who had been foaled. Adorable, isn’t he?

Still, nothing could remove the sadness that made my heart so heavy these days.

12

Before long, the day came. Keniesha, Mango and the girls arrived back from their weekend visit with the folks. I took several pictures of Tia and Grace who were now toddlers and I tried to fight down the resentment that I hadn’t been there to celebrate with them.

In my book, these little girls couldn’t be any cuter if they tried.

13

And I played with them outdoors while Keniesha and Mango packed their belongings and put them in the moving truck they’d rented.

15161718

I held each small girl, hoping they’d remember me. Okay, so they weren’t moving to Timbuktu, but this really felt like a serious goodbye.

192021

When they’d gone to start their new lives, I busied myself in the garden. After a while, Liev came out, carrying the baby monitor and pieces of a t-shirt he had cut into strips.

“Leo and Jilly are sleeping.” When I didn’t answer, he continued, “I need to talk to you about something.” He waited but I just couldn’t think about whatever he was going to say right now. “I, uh, quit my job. I thought I should help around here more. We’re making good money with what we harvest now and …” His voice trailed off.

Pulling at weeds, I barely acknowledged what he’d said.

22

The skin on my bare hands stung as I haphazardly yanked the invading weeds away. My mind raced as I thought about the future birthdays I would miss and how my children would grow up barely even knowing their cousins.

23

Liev quietly began to tie in a plant using the cut up t-shirt. He was silent now but honestly, I couldn’t bring myself to even wonder what he was thinking or feeling. I wanted to care, but honestly, I just didn’t.

24

“You know,” I finally said, not pausing from my work, “all I ever wanted was a family. A close one. And now it’s gone. Just like that.”

25

His voice was calm but the tension beneath the tone was palpable. “It isn’t gone. You have a pretty nice family here, if you ask me.”

I resisted the overwhelming urge to roll my eyes. “I know that. I’m talking about my sister and her husband and kids. And you knew that.”

He sighed softly but he didn’t pause from what he was doing. “Yes, I did.” Finally, he moved on to the next plant. “Keniesha will come around. You’re both just really angry and emotional right now.”

And that was the statement – the straw – that broke the camel’s back. I suddenly threw down my trowel and trudged off. If I was expecting him to stop what he was doing and run after me, I would have a long wait. Instead, he didn’t even look up, but kept tying in that plant as if nothing had happened.

26

Just like a stalker, I found myself at my sister’s new house near the stadium. Why did I feel so disgusted that it was absolutely beautiful? A good sister would be glad for her. In my mind, I knew that my emotions about this were out of control. This feeling of anger and betrayal had become so intense that it had settled deep within me and I couldn’t seem to shake it.

I sat in the car imagining all the fun she was having with her family… without me and my husband and kids in her life. What I needed to do was go to the door and tell Keniesha that we needed to stop this cold war we had going on. But something stopped me. I don’t know what. My knuckles turned white as I gripped the steering wheel. But still, I made no effort to fix this mess.

27

After sitting there like an idiot for the longest time, I finally went back home and tried to focus on my life there. It was all I had left.

 

 

48 thoughts

  1. Sisters! I feel bad for both of them and shall take no sides in this story. One sister out loving parents and one sister being blamed for the actions of her parents. I hope the next chapter isn’t too long off!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks, Jesse! And it’s probably best not to take one side over the other when we only see things from one point of view. There’s usually more to an argument than what is first seen. 🙂 I’m considering publishing on Wednesday again. Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

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            1. It’s been crazy playing all these sims, I’ll tell you that! lol And all of the twins were thrown at me by the game, no cheats, no fertility treatments, no watching kiddie TV, etc. It’s been really fun, but really busy, too! 😀

              Liked by 1 person

  2. I know Keniesha is angry, but she’s really blaming the wrong person. She should just go to the jail and beat up the Covingtons, if that makes her feel better. They are the ones to blame, after all.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Man, this chapter was so sad… I understand why Keniesha feels the way she does, but saying that things can never be the same or get better was a bit of a downer. Maybe after some time apart from Memphis their relationship will improve? That’s what I’m hoping for! Those twins are too cute to be permanently gone

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love those little girls. 😀 Things have really gotten out of hand with the two of them. More will be revealed down the road and we’ll see then if/how this can be repaired. In the game, they really did get in some kind of fight over I don’t know what. It just happened. I’m an optimist at heart so this has been a bit difficult for me as I like to resolve problems immediately. Anyway, thank you so much for your comments! They are much appreciated! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. That’s an interesting peek into your gameplay and blogging… that they fought but you didn’t know why. I had wondered if this was all plot driven (which is an incredible plot). More importantly, your ability to dive into this muck that is the detrius of their anger so genuinely is really quite astounding. Starting this chapter I was confident that things would be ok but I have to say, after Memphis’ dismissal of Liev and her anger at Keneisha, it is getting murkier to see a way through it.

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  4. Oh dear, I feel horrible for Memphis- she is in such a bad situation! I can understand where Keneisha is coming from but I’m also pissed at her for being so pissed because in the end, it was not Memphis’s fault. As Violincat pointed out it was really the Covington’s who killed her parents. I hope their relationship repairs over time and also Memphis to get close with Liev again because I feel sorry for him.
    On another note, Tia and Grace are such cute toddlers! May I ask how you got the babies to have legs?
    Intense chapter!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, Lila! Thanks so much for your feedback! 🙂 I totally get where you’re coming from in how you feel about the situation. 😀 As for the babies…. you need two things:

      1. Baby clothes (I think I got the baby clothes from TSR and maybe some from Tumblr, I don’t remember).
      2. Master Controller (this is to put the baby into CAS so you can change their clothing).

      Let me know if you have any questions and thank you for stopping by! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow, such intense feelings, and they are both too stubborn to start amends! Perhaps the cousins will have to be the ones to make their moms mend their fences, later in the story. Keniesha and Memphis were just so close, I am surprised Keniesha can be so short -sighted to blame Memphis! Oh well, hopefully love will win out!!! I do not envy you playing so many sims at once…great job! =) and beautiful kids! ♥

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Those are good thoughts, Marj! I like your idea about the cousins bringing them to their senses. 🙂 And yes, it’s been difficult playing so many sims plus all the animals, too. lol Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

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  6. I’m sorry, but I really think Keniesha is to blame here, and not both. Not allowing Memphis and Liev to attend her daughters’ birthday after Memphis spent all that time taking care of them for her.. that was a low blow. Not only to Memphis but also really unfair to Liev and, not least, the girls! I think she should go to therapy, she doesn’t seem able to work through her anger and grief on her own. Maybe if there was a change of perspective I would change my mind, but honestly I don’t think so.

    Great work, you managed to make me really annoyed with a character! 🙂

    Tia & Grace are the CUTEST!! And I bet Leo and Jillian will be, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This is so sad. I understand why her sister is so upset but she’s angry at the wrong person. Memphis isn’t to blame for her parents death. I hope one day they are able to reconcile, it would be terrible if this goes on for years and years. 😟

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This is just so tragic. I can understand Kenisha’s pain, but Memphis lost her parents too. And no top of that, she lost her biological parents. And she escaped an attempt to trap her in an exploitative marriage. Memphis isn’t the enemy here. The force against Memphis is the enemy. I’m sure Kenisha knows that too, but Memphis is the only person she can strike back at.

    I thought Tia and Grace looked rather pale as babies. I loved seeing them with their beautiful heads of hair as toddlers! I guess they’re not identical because they have different eye colors, but you could fool me.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi, Echo! Thanks for reading and leaving your feedback! 🙂 Tia and Grace are not identical, you are right. I don’t know why they looked so different as toddlers from when they were infants since I make a point not to change anything about my sims in CAS except hair, makeup, clothing, etc. I kind of shrugged when they aged up. lol 😛 I know what you mean about the problems between Keniesha and Memphis; you make really good points.

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  9. Keniesha keeps saying “it’s not about you,” which is true. I haven’t really noticed until this chapter that Memphis does actually seem to be more concerned about what affects her a lot. I’m trying to imagine what she’s going to have to go through in order to see this for herself. Hopefully nothing too terrible.

    Those girls are too stinkin cute!! That hair!! XD

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I’ll take sides. Memphis was a victim, not once but twice and it wasn’t her fault!! Yes, it’s very sad Keneisha’s parents died, but it Memphis didn’t kill them. They knew there’d been some issues but agreed to keep her anyway. It was their choice.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Wow, that was intense. I can understand where Keniesha’s coming from, but I think she’s letting her emotions get the best of her here. Really, they both are. I agree with Liev. Memphis just needs to leave her be until she’s thinking more clearly! Oh gosh, I must read more!!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I feel really angry at Keniesha right now, it was not Memphis’s fault what happened to their parents! It’s like blaming a baby for anything wrong in world. Still, I believe there is hope for them to fix their relationship. But one of them has to try! The twins are sooo adorable!!! ❤ Their hair is awesome too! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. *sigh* Relationships are tough. There aren’t always easy fixes, especially for resentments that run deep. For all we know, these thoughts and feelings have been building up for Keniesha, and it just kind of all bubbled up to the surface at once. I feel bad for Memphis, but then… there’s really not much she can do. This one’s tricky.

    Liked by 1 person

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